Welcome to John Loves Meg. I am John. This weblog is dedicated to my once and future, my one and only. Our story up to this point is long and involved and really quite amazing. Each of us goes halfway across the globe and now we are separated by miles and by circumstance. Bear with me; I have never been one for brevity but I will try to be as quick as I can.Meg and I met in the Navy at journalism school at Fort George G. Meade, Maryland. She was dating a guy who was going to photography school at the same place and shipped out to San Diego. After a month or so, they had started to have problems with long distance. By this time I was a loner with not many friends and nothing much to do. She was a total extrovert and always the nicest to everyone, and she seemed to think I was cool for some reason and we hung out a lot with some other friends.
Finally we went on a day trip together and by the time we were back at the barracks that night we had hit something off and I experienced my first kiss with her at the age of 18. Our relationship progressed over the next few months at the school in detail that would take pages upon pages to fully tell. We eventually became intimate (another first for me, of course) and she said that I might as well have been her first because I was far and away better, more tender, more loving, more sensitive, than the few others before.
Finally came the day when we had to leave with our orders. I went to a ship in Norfolk, Virginia, and she went to a broadcast detachment in Naples, Italy. Things went okay for a few months while we both got used to our new surroundings, but eventually things began to get too complicated. Meg said she wanted to take a break and clear her head and I decided it would be best in the long run to let her figure herself out. She was also going through some counseling and found out she was being medically discharged from service, at which point she told me she planned to return to the U.S. and marry her ex-boyfriend.
I sunk into depression and went into therapy myself thanks to my co-workers, not by my own will. It was probably the best thing. By autumn she was back in the states and outprocessing through Norfolk, which is the Atlantic coast hub for the Navy. So needless to say I hung out with her on a platonic level. A pair of her friends from Ohio drove down to visit and we had a great time. Now at this time my father, who also lives in Norfolk and is in the Navy, was gone on business somewhere so I offered that Meg shack up on the couch there (or the bed to herself, if she preferred) instead of living in cold, institutional barracks at the Naval hospital.
Meg and I weren't at his place more than an evening before we decided it would be all right, for closure and all, to experience each other one last time. Well, that one time turned into a week, but we never lost a grip that it was over once she got on a plane and flew to San Diego for the wedding. I even helped her pick out her wedding dress. At the airport I hated to watch her go and I left her with some parting words she probably turned over in her mind: "Hey, it's your funeral." So she didn't go through with it after all.
We hung out briefly before I went on deployment in support of Operation Enduring (and eventually Iraqi) Freedom. I bought her souvenirs in France for Christmas and sent her a Valentine's Day card and everything. Meanwhile, Meg's time ran out and she went to Wyoming to live with her parents and try to get along with no benefits from her truncated service. She started working to save up for college and we kept in touch pretty regularly. I called her when she was in the hospital and things like that. Finally, two days after Valentine's Day, she told me she wanted to be together again and that she never wanted to let go. I immediately began laying plans for a trip west upon my return.
I went out west to see some relatives of mine in Colorado and she drove down to pick me up. We fell into each other instantaneously and were elated for the entire drive back to Cheyenne (on the way to her parents' house). We stayed in the capital for a night before we went to her folks' place and I met them and her brother. She showed me the little town and surrounding areas, the college, the golf course, and we took three days in Yellowstone together. I regretfully flew back to Norfolk just in time to pull into the neighboring shipyards for a six-month hell.
Since then things rolled along nicely until one event set things in downward motion. Meg was wrongfully fired from her job as a DJ. She pretty much lost everything with that. I tried to help where I could with money and emotional support, not because I felt obligated but because I couldn't stand to see her suffer. From there, though, things just kept dissipating until Meg finally decided we needed to take another break. Since then she's insisted it isn't anything like the first time, and that she is really just trying to figure herself out. During that time she's accomplished a move to a bigger city with a better job and a better school and she is rooming with a friend at school.
I just miss her. I can't look into her mind and I don't know if she wants to date other people. She mentioned one issue being not enough physical companionship in the long distance relationship, but I have no desire to be with anyone else. I'm hooked on her and I can't imagine things being any more perfect or loving than what we had for a few solitary months in Maryland.
So anyway this weblog is sort of a day-by-day to keep me from thinking too many bad thoughts. Meg got in touch with her spiritual side and got baptized, and I have sort of followed suit after reading a very inspirational book my parents lent me (so you see I am not jumping on a bandwagon with Meg).
Well, here goes nothing. Let's hope for the best I suppose.
Cheers
"Steves"
Posted by poetry/johnlovesmeg
at 9:11 PM EST
Updated: Monday, 26 January 2004 9:14 PM EST
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Updated: Monday, 26 January 2004 9:14 PM EST
Post Comment | View Comments (3) | Permalink | Share This Post