TODAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BEToday is kind of a touchy day for me, today was supposed to be the first year anniversary of me and BB. Days like this are still kind of hard, even when you're over a person. It still kind of makes you think.
I sitll have those questions running through my head. I still think about why it actually broke up and if he cheated on me and wanted to break up break up because of that. Even though I don't have this need for him, these questions still keep coming and bothering me. I guess it's just the day. Because of this supposed to be special day, I get these questions again. I haven't thought about it for a long time, but now it's time for a memory again. I pulled out the good old box of memories of us from under my bed, together with ML, and I just smiled while recapturing those memories. I know I'm over him, because I no longer feel sad when a memory pops up in my head and I only smile when I tell a memory.
Someway or another it still makes me feel sad, this day, but hey, that's a part of it. It's a totally normal human psychological reacton.
I'm happy though, knowing I've experienced something like that and I'm ot sad because I'm not experiencing it anymore, because I still have the memories. And there's always something better on its way, there's always something better.
February 21st 2003
