STAY TRUE TO YOURSELFSuddenly you start to reminisce. You talk about memories, you see the happy moments in front of your eyes. A smile appears on your face telling how happy you are to have experienced something so great. Thinking you can be happy instead of sad. But then, within a second, your smile turns into a frown. Right then you’re realizing that you can’t smile because it happened, because you miss it too much. You start to feel bad for a while, regretting to let the fun memorie-making time end. Until one day, you snap back into reality. You say to yourself: Hey you, what are you so sad about, you may have lost him/her, but you still have yourself.
There are two things I can make up from this situation. Number one is a circle of smiles and frowns. Sadness turning into happiness, turning back to sadness, back to happiness. One moment memories make you laugh, other moments they make you cry. It’s also kind of an opposites attract scene. With the fun memories you shed tears, with the sad memories you burst out in laughter. For a period of time, long or short, this circle will keep on going. But a time will come where you’ll either smile about everything or cry about everything. The end of a horrible, unbearable pattern.
The second thing I can learn from this is the power of your own you. People you lose, memories will fade, but one thing will stay, you. Missing someone or something you lost is totally normal. Being sad about it for a while too, but there’s one thing that shouldn’t be affected, your person. When something like that situation happens, don’t change yourself drastically. Cry if you have to, be depressed if you have to. But don’t go making yourself into a whole other self if it doesn’t do you any good. You can mature yourself, changing your bad traits, hence à traits. Traits does not mean everything. Don’t go locking yourself up at home when you always used to be out with friends. Don’t go coloring your hair blond, cutting it extremely short, wearing colored blue contact lenses while you have dark, long hair and brown eyes. Don’t go wearing tight, body showing clothes when you used to wear casual clothes. These changes are only illusions, making you think you’ll get better if you change yourself. Nothing changes, the situation doesn’t change. You’re only fooling yourself, making yourself look stupid.
There’s a difference between learning from you experiences, realisation, doing something about it, growing older and wiser and changing yourself to something you don’t even want, don’t even know why and end up at the same point where you started. The whole point is, stay true to yourself. At all times. Don’t think about who leaves you, why he/she did it and if it’s because of who you are. Just think of the great person you are, because you are. And don’t change.
March 2nd 2003
