ON YOUR OWNEverytime the sun shines I get this weird feeling. A feeling that summons the love feeling I used to feel when having a boyfriend. On these moments I miss having someone. But I’m still independant. You can’t live life, do things, accomplish stuff if you can’t learn how to be on your own. Having friends or lovers to support and help you is a nice extra, but you have to learn to do anything on your own. Having those people around you, catching you when you fall is good. But what’s not good is leaning on them the whole time. You have to stand on your own feet, lean on yourself. If you lean on the people around you the whole time, what are you going to do when they’re gone, die?
You can’t live your whole life on your own, because it’s boring and you need company. That’s what those people around you are, company, not your guides. The only one who can guide you is yourself. Don’t rely on other people too much, the only one you can rely on for your whole life is yourself. You don’t know when those people “disappear” out of your life.
I’ve had it lots of times that I relied and leaned on people too much and suddenly they were gone. That doesn’t mean that I can’t live anymore, that only means that I have to learn to live on my own. Saying and acutally thinking you can’t live without somebody else is the most misleading and pathetic thing you can say. Why misleading? Because it’s not true, you can live without someobdy else. Why pathetic? How can a person think that. You only put yourself down with those stuff. Saying that you’re too weak to stand on your own feet.
I did and say it sometimes too, but I’ve finally learned from it. How could I put myself down like that. But I’ve learned now and I know now. I don’t need other persons to live, I need them to help me out once in a while and make my life more fun. It’s my life, it’s in my hands, my decisions count, I can rely on myself, lean on myself and trust myself. I’m strong enough to move full steam ahead in life and taking my loved ones with me. They helped me grow, helped me become what I am and I mean HELPED. Eventually, all the decisions laid in my hands. I’m not afraid to walk alone, live alone, support my own. And I’m not afraid to ask help and lend a hand.
February 26th 2003
