NOT KNOWING

I used to know exactly what I felt. I used to know ecxactly what to say. More important, my heart used to know exactly what to write.
The more I grew, the more reality got a hold on me. I started alienating from my fantasy world. The world where my most beautiful words came from.
When i closed my eyes, I couldn't see bright colors, love and bliss anymore. All I started to see what thunder and black. All I could get out of me was negativity.
I don't know how to feel what I feel anymore. I don't know how to read what my heart writes anymore. I don't know where I disappeared to. And, I don't know how to cope with not knowing anymore

March 15th 2004