DON'T THINK ABOUT YESTERDAYI still miss BB and it still hurts.
No matter how many times I try to tell myself that he's no good, I still end up missing him.
I really love him a lot. Normally how longer how more the feelings fade, but it works total opposite with me. Instead of that the feelings should fade, they only grow.
It hurts so much. The amount of the love I have for him is the same amount as the pain I feel inside. So it hurts a whole damn lot. Sometimes it even feels like I'm practically dying and the tars I shed at the moment only bring pieces of my life while they're leaving my body.
What hurts me a lot too is that I love him so much and all he feels for me is irritation. I want to alk with him everyday, but he doesn't even wnat to talk to me.
It hurts you so much feelings the love, a lot of love and enduring the pain of that love and meanwhile all you do is irritate him.
I can't stand it, everyday my love for him is growing, still growing while the pain is growing with it and his love is fading more and more.
Why is this happening? Why do I love him so much in the meaning of love and he just loves me in the meaning of friendship and then I wonder how much.
My love is still growing for him, the pain is growing with it. And I? I can't keep it up, I can't stand it. I'm falling, falling of the mountain. I'm left alone...
November 14th 2002
