DESIRE

Being at home again and being sick, gives me time to think.
Eventhough I'm over BB, there's still a desire deep inside of me that wnats him back. It's probably just a normal human reaction, but it's still kind of hard to handle. It makes me want to break contact with him again, but I can't. I can't run away from my problems anymore. Not being confronted with problems only makes it an unsolves problem.
Then there is the othe rproblem. I like this guy, I mean really like him, but I'm still so clueless about everything. I have no idea if he likes me and I'm afraid to tell it to him. This might be my first rejection. It was like he was avoiding me today and that kind of made my day rain.
I have so many desires in me. Maybe I like this guys, just because I miss having someone. And that can also be the reason why I have these desires concerning BB.
I don't know what to do anymore, I really like this guy, but I just can't tell it. I don't have any idea what he thinks. And asking someone to talk to him is kind of childish. I guess I'll just have to wait this time, but watch out that I won't fall too deep.

January 2dn 2003