MC CALLEDSomething strange happened. MC, my special friend and cousin sent me a phone message yesterday evening. I called him back and we talked after a 9 month fight. I don't if I should be really happy about this or not. I'm just going to enjoy it.
I'm still hurt about the whole BB matter. But after having a long talk with ML about it yesterday, I know one thing. I should just pretend like he never promised me anything and said things to me. That way I won't have to feel hurt the whole time and that way I can give us real space which makes being friends much easier.
I really have shed too much tears the couple of days and he really isn't worth it at the moment.
Talking with other people about your feelings is the best thing a person can do. With talking you can learn a lot from the people you are talking with and a lot from and about yourself. I'm still sending BB that letter, but I'm really going to try...again, to be happy. Better to try and to fail than to never try at all.
I'm still hurt and sad and I still feel like crying, but as I always say to other people.Always look at the sun in spite of the little clouds hanging around it.
The only cloud right now is BB. The sun is my happy family, my friends who I've gained and found again. And my best friend who never left me. And my school is doing well. So, why do I look a that one cloud when the sun has so much more importance and meaning. While the sun is much bigger. I'm going to ignore the cloud.
I have walked through a dark wood the last month, but Im starting to find the way out, starting to see the light again, starting to have a pure smile again, without any sadness behind it.
I'm starting to be myself again and growing up a little bit more.
November 17th 2002
