LADY IN THE HUGE
by Bruce Drouin
After chasing around
in confusion in that bedroom and into that bathroom.
She gave me the keys
to her dark mansion.
After her husband had left her there.
And expecting that
one day he’d return.
She and we remained stow-away in the attic of that mansion being
chased about by that dark lady agitated and angry purposeless.
And we looking for ways to find escapes into fantasy to sneak our
guests into that mansion where she would be unaware of our
But no one except the dark proprietor of the mansion of whom we were
its guests resided there.
Some proprietor we had to be reminded we had stolen this house where
we sought refuge on our move to somewhere.
And as I found myself in a different room upstairs and I was coming
around the corner being chased and scolded.
I stopped and turned around and to my relief.
She at last stopped and laughed
She said something funny and laughed at herself!
She saw herself and saw that she was funny
It was a relief all
at once in the midst of her stalking us with her anger.
She stopped and saw
how foolish she had been and found herself ridiculously funny!
As if to say herself
this is too fucking ridiculous to have gone on this long so
“I EVEN HAVE TO LAUGH
And at once a spell
was broken. A curse had come to an end.
She saw that her insanity was absolutely ludicrous.
And had to even laugh at how could anyone have taken all of this
Even I have to laugh.
And I felt relief that she was no longer attacking me.
She had given up.
At last even she was mortal.
She in that moment of
all too perfect humanness transformed herself from a goddess to a
mere exhausted mortal. At last. At last her love was released and
at last she became obtainable in all her warmth. A relief.
And I knew it was no
longer a daemon chasing me. As she had gone after every man with a
The witch had become a loving woman.
“DID I JUST SAY THAT?”
And in that moment’s
reflection she became living color.
The scene of black
and white in that dark burned out mansion where everything had been
charbroiled with a dragon’s anger disappeared and all I saw was a
sweet lady, smiling.
She was sweet.
A warm peach hue.
And I woke up having
felt her warm embrace and her sweet fragrance
Lingering around in my memory made it all too real.
I had been visited by
the dark lady, my mother. In the night she came to me and held me.
And released me from her spell.
As if I thought she might have visited me in the night saying,
“YOU’RE FREE TO GO. I FORGIVE YOU.”
Yes, I had been
visited by her spirit.
That sweet lady all too human.
And all too human to have taken all this punishment all too
And all it took was a moment’s reflection to catch herself and
And all of us were at that moment freed.
To be HUMAN again.
And as I went into the bathroom, I coughed from my throat, green
I coughed it out of my throat
I could breathe again
The collar round my neck was gone.
And I knew I could be
anywhere else I wanted to be.
I was freely my own man.
Much older than I thought I was.
And I wondered about that lady. That sweet lady of the past.
How goes it with her? I wondered.
Is she past on? Did she pass in the night and visit me?
I knew it was her. Because I had smelled that sweet fragrance in the
womb. And I knew unmistakably it could only be her.
Thank you, for giving us both life.
And now I had forgotten that enchanting spell we were under.
As the golden sun glowed. Streaks of light came across the room.
A new dawn of a new day.
The soul of the lady
was shining radiant in the host of the sun whose sharp golden pin
rays spread out all around her and I could see her and knew her she
was the eye of the sun. Her beaming rays were like eye lashes
sending out small slivers of pulsating rays into me healing me,
warming me, reassuring me, making me strong, attracting me and I and
her were familiar; we were the same feeling and she was strong and
constant and never ending. She was staring directly into my eye.
Piercing my eye with love and attraction.
She was GOD.