Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
Forecast:Rain

They say that some people love the rain, because it hides their tears so well. And, for me, that statement couldn't be more true. So, I realized that for the past two years whenever someone asked me, "Have you ever been in love," my automatic answer was always, "Yes." Ask me today, and I'll tell you that I had no idea what I was talking about before. Because of what I experienced these past two years, I had developed this image of what I thought "love" was. Since that is what I thought I felt for him. So, everything he caused me to feel- I assumed was love. When in reality, it wasn’t. I felt pain, jealousy, heartache, confusion, and ignored, to name a few. While I did experience the first kiss, the first "I love you", and some laughs... those moments were so few and far between that they were just erased by the bad things. In a way, I feel sad. I had always thought that being "in love" was this great thing. So when I felt that I was in it, I figured it would take me somewhere, like... change things and make me this better, happier person. Needless to say, that never happened. I was so afraid that if I had never been in love, I was missing this whole part of me that practically everyone else seemed to have filled. I felt that I would be left out or alone, even. Now, I realize that with my experience of this false idea of love, I have so much more to look forward to. That feeling of completeness, comfort, and a love so intense you can't put into words. And, now with an open heart I find myself a little scared of this world of possibilities and of the unknown. However, when I do find what I thought I once had, or should I say--- when it finds me, I know that instead of crying in the rain, I'll be singin' in it.