Girl on the Gridiron

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Girl on the Gridiron Inroducing guest writer THE SPORTS MAESTRO
Michael Vick--insert your own joke here. Terrell Owens does absolutely nothing considered to be controversial or newsworthy. Fox's Pam Oliver discovers the advantages of a haircut with bangs. The "Tuna" returns to action to try to win a coaching job with the Dolphins. Emmitt Smith opens a men's clothing store and stocks it with costumes from "Dancing with the Stars." Brett Favre says, "No, really, this is my last year." Mo Williams does a Subway commercial and eats Jared. Newsflash: Gismo and Reggie Williams separated at birth. Roger Goodell goes gangsta and declares, "those idiots in stripes better not pull that NBA crap here, son!" Tony Siragusa stars in a bootleg version of "The Sopranos." Matt Leinart finds a way to handle his massive financial obligations despite his meager income from the NFL. Mchael Strahan becomes the new spokesman for "The GAP..." Tim Couch...now you see him, now you don't. Vinny Testaverde becomes the league's first grandquarterback. And now, folks here are all my picks. AFC NORTH: CINNCINATI This is the last year I put forth faith in their abilities. AFC EAST: NEW ENGLAND As much as I hate to, I have to. AFC SOUTH: JACKSONVILLE Sigh...this just might be a sympathy vote more than anything else, seeing as how the front office keeps making really idiotic decisions. AFC WEST: OAKLAND I did this one on a dare, but if they were to pull it off, I'd gladly take full credit. NFC NORTH: CHICAGO Again. But with no thanks to Rex Gross--Man. NFC EAST: PHILADELPHIA Giants lose hope as well as talent without the services of Tiki Barber, and possibly Strahan. NFC SOUTH: NEW ORLEANS They deserve it. Oh, yeah, and Reggie Bush. NFC WEST: SAN FRANCISCO It won't be quite like Montana to Rice, but they could very well make a run. And in the Superbowl... NEW ORLEANS vs JACKSONVILLE	It's time again for the pigskin! So, in honor of the occasion, I've once again compiled my own lists of picks and predictions for the coming year! POINT,COUNTERPOINT GIRL: Many teams have made changes this year that weren't very fan-friendly. I know this is a business, but at some point, I think considering how certain things will affect the fans would go a long way. After all if none of us decide to support a team, there wouldn't be one. You can't play to an empty stadium. MAESTRO: The Jaguars, in particular, must not be planning on winning this year. Cutting good players like Nick Sorenson and Donovan Darius wasn't too smart. And what was up with that Tim Couch thing... Two weeks and out!? GIRL: Not really a counterpoint, there, Maestro but thanks for supporting my stance. WOW! Bye bye, Byron!!! I rest my case.	I am the Sports Maestro. I watch the entire CFB landscape as a whole, but in my area the SEC and ACC are the thing so that is what I will focus on. By the end of the year, I will have proven that I am, indeed, the Maestro! Check these out: Tim Tebow saves Metropolis once again. USC lowers players salaries slightly. FSU is doing the limbo...just how low can they go? Pac-10 discovers the advantages of playing defense. Steve Spurrier's ego gets even bigger... Lee Corso leaves the poor Duke Blue Devil mascot out--again. You'd think he'd be used to disappointment by now. Les Miles is abducted by a UFO. Duke is this year's WF out of the ACC. Georgia finally beats Florida...yeah, and pigs fly. Northern Colorado's back-up punter injures starter and the result is "big man on campus." Vandy goes to a BCS bowl this year. The NCAA goes to a 16-team playoff. Baylor wins Big 12. Florida repeats as National Champs... NOT! And now, folks, here are my picks. ACC: ATLANTIC !.FSU 2.BC 3.WF 4.CLEMSON 5.MARYLAND 6.NCSU COASTAL 1.VT 2.GT 3.MIAMI 4.VIRGINIA 5.NC 6.DUKE CHAMPIONSHIP: FSU vs VT, with VT the winner. SEC: EAST 1.FLORIDA 2.GEORGIA 3.SOUTH CAROLINA 4.TENNESSEE 5.KENTUCKY 6. VANDERBILT WEST: 1.LSU 2.ALABAMA 3.AUBURN 4.ARKANSAS 5.OLE MISS 6.MISSISSIPPI ST. CHAMPIONSHIP: FLORIDA VS LSU, with FLORIDA the winner And NATIONAL CHAMPIONS... USC
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