Get this it rhymes

What I'm doing now

I'm trying to sleep

but the darkness won't come

Thoughts and torments deep

of loneliness and requiem

Faces flash through my mind

sweaty bodies pressed tight

desire running me ragged and intertwined

finally feel the fright

that the first won't be the last

needing and wanting

my heart in a cast

the original lust filled craving

but knowing its all smoke and mirrors

i sit and i wait

afraid of love's regret filled scars

being a best friend and mate

i simply cannot be i need someone of my own to hold

Stare out at the world covered in dew

waiting for the next stranger

to make me forget how much love can damage

and how quickly love can turn to anger

i can't see how i can manage

moving on from this one to the next

never getting close, always keeping my distance

fulfilling my bodies need with sex

and i wonder how the world views my stance

feel the rejection sting

and the betrayal quick

like a needle in my vein

and a stab in the back

all i wanted was to be happy

all i wanted was to be loved

guess it was too much to ask and I'm being sappy

and somehow my hear feels mugged