December 25th: 12:16 A.M: Whats up? i'm all alone. haven't talked to jon in like 24 hours. i hung up on him last night. i should have just dealt with him like i normally do but grr he was pulling some shit to get his way and i'm sorry if i like hanging out with my boyfriend?! he and i could be chilling right now but he said he didn't want me calling him ever again. so i figure i'll let him cool off. i mean i am sorry i didn't mean to get all pissy but it was like he was acting the way he says frank always acts. i don't know what to think anymore. i'm sick of being pulled in two different directions. I love my Boy friend and i don't know it just feels right being around him. i mean come on for the past three days we've been tied at the hip and i miss him right now. but i miss jon too. he makes me laugh too. and god damn it they don't have to like eachother! but could they give ME a break when i'm hanging out with the other one? i feel like my hearts getting ripped out because i can't make them both happy. grrr...oh merry Christmas.
December 13th: hi frank is sleeping on my bed right now. i'm jsut hangin out chilling. Jon found a tight ass eclipse. have to see if he can get it and then i am soo stealing it. lol i'm tired i don't like working it sucks. k bye now
December 8th: hehe i'm engaged. i know right? me? oh well he wouldn't take no for an answer. do you know i haven't slept at home in a week...or more. yeah awesome i know. so whats new peeps? have i changed? i don't think so. i mean yeah some little stuff but that' what happens when you get more friends. if you can't roll with the flow then get the fuck out of my way. aiight i'm hungry ttyl. bye.
December 2nd: Just got back from the dentist... not nearly as bad as i thought it would be. i mean i've never had a cavity before so of course i'm expecting the worst. i had to go all by myself and everything. arg. but its all good...except the left side of my face is numb...i don't really like that. i would eat some comfort food but the doc said to wait an hour. so whats new with you all. you know cherry vodka and coke tastes just like sherry coke? it does and mmhmm is it good.
December 1st: Two days till jon comes home. :) hi ya'll. whats up? I think i'm in love...actually i know i am and damn...it is a lot of fun. Frank hun major Shout out. :) so anyway i know you ppl don't want to hear about all that cause i'd get all gross and sappy. but i will say one thing it feels so nice. so yeah i've been in an accident...god i still have to get down to the station freakin A man. and i'm driving on a speeding ticket. yeah could say a lot about that with some very colorful words. I'm on vacation whahooo!!!! fuck jewel up its tight little ass!!! i'm free for 7 days. and i plan to kick off my nice vacation by getting absolutely shit faced tonight. :) i love you all but especially my baby.
November 22nd: I am so freaking tired. i went to a battle of the bands tonight. kick sooo much ass. i would lose so much weight if i just went to concerts all the time. god damn it was awesome. yeah less than an hour and i already have a mini crush on the band. lol :p oh did i mention...i have a boyfriend. yeah i know me living it up single is officially taken...yeah don't know if i like it very much...but i guess i'm just rolling with it. i just yeah...i feel...i dunno weird. its not the same kind of fire? i guess as the last guy i fell for. i mean can you learn to love some one? i just sit and compare and i just don't ugh. i saw Justine and Travis tonight...yeah thats what i want if i have to have a boyfriend. he is around but not like demanding of her attention and they touch but its not like this huge gross PDA. and it was so cute. he couldn't come to Steak and Shake after the show but he slipped Justine a twenty hiding in some singles for food cause she demanded to pay for his ticket to get in. i went awww. :p and i know he doesn't force her to do anything sexually. he doesn't even hint that he wants it until she's ready...all the guys I've been with. i haven't really wanted to sleep with but i knew how bad they wanted to...mhmmp. ya know? maybe i'm just really easy and i can't say no? or i need to trust what i want more. who knows but its been some revelations tonight. latter peeps.
November 4th: okay yeah its definitely been a while. sorry for the delay. just haven't done anything truly interesting. Halloween i went trick or treating with my little bro for a little while in my sexy Catholic school girl outfit. and i've got tickets to go see deftones. on the 30th i think. Jewel is on cash lock down. ?? i dunno i guess the cash reports have been bad. but that also means that only one person can be in the book room. and yeah that makes closing very difficult. arg. shit just isn't working. oh well someone is going to be getting a shit load of over time that's all i gotta say. later gater.
October 11th: The chillies guy wasn't all that great but at least i got a free dinner. Guess what. mother fucker called the cops on me! no not chillies guy. a dude that lives down the street from me. i was fooling around going real fast. and you know my tires squeal like nothing else. so he came around in his station wagon and took down my license plate. grr and it was the cop that always comes out for cammie. arg! wtf!? then i had mike all fucking over me ass hole. i hate him. i think i'm gonna quit the week before thanksgiving. that will fucking show them. what ever i'm going to bed.
September 29th: Hey sup? sorry for slacking on the updating. i got a date for thursday. chillies could be way fun. (and its all about the camero) lol yeah right. like i would date a dude for his car. i washed my car today. she's all shiny. four more days. ya gotta pray for me. i miss him so much! (if you don't know. just wish me luck)
September 27th: you know. i hate the fact that i have no back bone. i'm so scared of losing my friends that i can't just do what i really want to. he likes me. for once some one actually likes ME. and what do i do? chicken out. and although i won't admit it to myself. i think i like him too. so then i go and push his last button and he's not talking to me anymore. i'm so backwards. i really don't know what i'm afriad of. maybe once i get myself straightened out he'll give me a second chance.
September 22nd: no i didn't fall off the face of the earth...i just work too much. i feel like i live at jewel now. over forty hours a week is becoming a weird standard. i'm sick and i hate being sick. can't breath and i have a a sinus infection that hurts like a mother. arg. too much shit to do and i have no time. arg arg grumble grumble. i can't wait till jon comes home. i miss him so much. ttyl
September 11th: shit gets worse. and i feel completely helpless. and i hate that feeling.
September 7th: i miss becky. a lot. :( i cried today. after getting yelled at (well a stern talking to) by jon. i just don't get it. i don't cry. what is it about him and my dad that get to me this way. and i still haven't gotten it out of my system and now i can't sleep. and i'm working the whole freaking week. grr. i'm just really out of sorts. i feel like i have no one that really cares about me. just people that use me. i just don't know what to think about anything right now.
September 4th: Hey just got my computer back. yeah! i love the internet. got my hair cut...better but i still hate it. lol later
Aug 23rd: have i lost the innocence i once had/ that i could fall head over heels/ for anyone that said i love you/ is it because i fell for one that didn't?/ why am i so afraid now that I've had to mend/ i wish i could be free to love unable to judge/ but now i have standards/ now i have restrictions/ I'm looking for a new love/ but my heart already belongs to another/ so its with a half hearted effort that i speak to you/ its a half hearted effort that i lie to you/ its only half my heart that can bear the thought of you in my bed/ the world is frightening to me now/ i feel like i have no shelter/ because i've been stripped/ of my innocence/ of my virginity/ of the optimistic, slightly ignorant outlook that i lived by/ the freshness is gone/ and now i;m scared to let anyone in/ i don't want to hurt/ i don't want the bullshit/ i just want my first to be my last/ but my first i wasn't his last.
Aug 22nd: OK i realize its been forever and a day since i updated this thing. i haven't had much time and i really don't like thinking about things too hard. i talk to jon today. that was awsome. he sounds so ghetto now. its really funny. i'm working like a dog at jewel. and i'm starting to work out at the y again. yeah getting healthy :)
Aug 16th: breath...in...out. okay. i am so shell shocked. i still can't believe it. i miss him. a lot a little more than i would say in words? geeze i sound so corny. three weeks six days and 12 hours...maybe then i can touch him again?
Aug 15: most likely the saddest day of my entire life.
Aug 14th:i am so mad at myself right now. grrr! why do i always want what i can't have and why in the world do i always fall for the guy that doesn't want me or can't look at me the way i see Jon look at Melissa or Allison. but then a actual gentleman comes into play and i don't like him? why? because he didn't strive to impress me the way my last crush did. because he was completely real and honest? becasue he really likes his ferrets and lets them shit all over his bedroom floor. i dunno i'm just sick of looking at guys with these glasses on. all i can see is who they are not. well this is bullshit. if the guy i really like right now doesn't like me its his fucking loss alright! i'm the cream of the goddamn crop and yeah he's losing out on a great girlfriend so whatever. fuck this bullshit grrr. okay i'm done now i feel better. ;-)omg i just had a revelation...i think i did what i did a few days ago purely to get some sexual attention from whats his face. and i failed miserably. why am i so stupid! okay no more thinking bed now....ZzzZzzZzz
Aug 13th: yeah i had to go to dinner with someone that hates my guts and the food was bad. grr cost me 30 bucks. jon was really funny all night so that was cool.
i didn't get the below the belt action LOL i was promised. or the back rub yet. but thats okay. i never call in my debts ne way. honestly i want the back rub more than the head! but thats just cause he doesn;t want anything in return which is cool with me. Don kicks major ass! bout time the bitch got slammed!!!
Aug 12th: I might actually go to bed in the pm tonight. interesting.
I'm clever.
Aug 11th:so yeah just chillin' before i have to go to work :(. Jons grandma died so that sucked. the funeral wake thing is on Tuesday. i'll go with if he wants me too but i dunno if its purely a family thing or not. well in any case I'll chill with him after to take his mind off of it if i can. i was at stake and shake yesterday or rather early this morning with Jon to go see tiffany and we all chilled and talked for a while. so of course he told her about my little escapade on sat night. she's not so innocent anymore...no i guess not. :( but whatever at least i learned something about myself and had at least a little fun. i did get really, really drunk after all.
Aug 10th: I got soo trashed. omg. Lemon drops. like 4 bacardi silver, and some pucker...no more experimenting for jen (yeah she's not talking about alcohol though). she's glad she knows now (If you don't have a clue as to what i am talking about just smile and nod), but she feels just a little hoeish. I went to Chicago with Jon and Allison. Went on the bulldog speed wave boat at navy pier. and went on the Ferris wheel. and watched jon practically finger Allison all day :(. i got sum ass grabbing so i wasn't too left out. oh yeah my car ran out of gas...that was fun. 50 bucks for a tow truck and 5 dollars for gas. lol
Aug 8th: Just a quote for today. i found it on Nerve.Com in my horoscope. i dunno it just sounded nice. "If someone really loves you, they won't pressure you to do something you really don't want to do."
Aug 5th: Work was a biatch today. grr i hate cashiering. whatever. you know i thought allison was the on eof the nicest girls i've met. but its like her actions don't add up. she dumped Jon and then expected everything to be ok. he even apologized like actually apologized. sincerely and she blew him off. grrr. i dunno i guess i don't understand her very well. i've never seen jon so happy like he was with her. or so sad with out her. and you know what it couldn't have come at a worse time.
Aug 4th: I applied at the BP that is going up across the street. way cool. i chilled with Jon last night, almost had a road trip adventure. You know its kinda nice to know you could get some. ego boost you know. but i decided against it. i'm done with the whole fooling around to get off. i can't handle the morning after. i'm done being used.
August 3rd: OKay a lot of this is in hind sight cause i haven't updated for a long as time but here we go. oh and i'm not putting a lot of it up here because well...its illegal and would get me and my friends in trouble.
Sat- guess who i had to talk to Becky's mom. she says he found like a 200 dollar phone bill. grr. i'm shit up the creak now.
So friday august first my birthday. The first half of the day was crappy cause my dad was giving me shit as to where i wanted to go eat and i wanted jon to come so i had to keep him in mind too. but ne way i went to BW3 and i had a blast. I got the first flowers i've ever gotten from a guy from Jon. :) he also promised me a full back massage but i haven't gotten it yet. (he's still all beat up from wed's adventure.) then at like 4 min to midnight jon comes in his room with 3 Mikes hard cranberry lemonade and is like you've got 4 min's to drink those! he's like Chug Chug Chug! lol. oh man i;ve never been so trashed. it was just the beginning. that was helarious. and then we spent most of the night chatting with guys for me on the internet. lol
Thursday sucked ass. it wasn't really anyone's fault but what ever. so Jon and i go swimming at Allison's pool (his "Girlfriend"). i basically had to watch them make out all night. cuddling kissing i knew if i wasn't there the would have been fucking. yeah at one point i had to go cry in the bathroom literally and i don't cry. after it was officially my birthday (when it was past 12 am.) it wasn't so bad. but i still felt like shit. after i left jons house late i had a real sad realization. i saw how he treats her. like a girlfriend you know? and i've never been treated that way for all the guys i've messed around with. i'm not a virgin but i've never had a boyfriend. oh sure i thought he was my boyfriend but in reality...i'm just naive. so then i got to cry my heart out on the way home. :(
okay wed. i chilled with jon later that night and didn't get home till my dad was getting up for work around 6 in the morning. good fun.
July 26th: I got creamed today. all over my face, my eyes, my hair, in my ears. white sticky...everywhere. gotta love it. My ma and brian are home now. :( it was fun to have the house to myself. Jon and i test drive a 96 cobra that felt slower than my cavalier. i have some decent hours next week. only closing once. and finally some sunday hours! going to watch tomb Raider now. Later
*Note: that cream was shaving cream you sicko's LOL! i know what u were thinking.
July 24th: Today i changed my oil with only a little help from jon. i also spilled a bunch of it but oh-well better luck next time. i went to great America yesterday. Made myself sick. but i got my ass grabbed:) good fun. Jon, Tabitha and her friend Doug went with us. Doug was so full of it. but it was cool to have someone to want to hold my hand all day. hehe he wanted some of it. i know he did. Jon ripped my red thong completely apart today! i had to drive home commando. lol. no one is home at my house right now. so fun. later
July 22nd: Color me bored. I'm going to be pretty lonely this week i think. the house will be empty but its not on good day. like i was gonna have a party. but then things got moved around. oh well. i need a confidence boost or something. i am going to lose weight and get a good looking body. so that i don't feel like i have to take what i can get. i want to be able to say no and be able to say yes too with out feeling guilty one way or the other. granted i might have to become a little less innocent. but oh well. later
July 21st: i went to the dentists today. now my teeth hurt and i have six cavities. bullshit. i've never had a cavity before and it scares me. :( still working on getting jon some of amie. and sasha *sigh* this is hard. washed my car it shines now. and my dads- he is such a slob.
July 20th: yeah so close and it all got fucked up. arg. i tried so freakin hard to get some for jon and....arg. whatever. at least i tried. i feel bad and kinda like i failed but its rather out of my control. i don't think its a lost cause yet though. what also sucked about today is that Sasha turned out to be a bitch. gay! what ever... i am so done...eh...and i maxed out my credit cards. i need to stop spending money.
July 19th:i had a lot of fun tonight. some of it was torture but that's okay. I got Amie and i trashed off out asses, almost got jon laid and had a pretty damn good time. and i got kissed! hehe you know how long its been? :) i'm so girlishly happy right now it ridiculous. I caught a bass today! yeah later.
July 18th: Hey whats up? i saw Bad Boyz II today. Awesome i definitely recommend it. I also went fishing today w/jon. I caught a crawfish (that was kinda scary it had too many legs!) and a baby Bass ( i wasn't even expecting it!) Jon caught two fish (both bigger than mine and before i caught nething). i had a lot f fun and i got sum sun. i think i actually burned my scalp where my white girl cornrolls were parted. LOL! good night. i'm off to great america tomorrow.
July 17th: Hi there. i went to the mall today w/jon. got a tight out fit. so did he. pimpin'. i am officially a pimpette in training (lol) Jon and i are going to get skinny. good fun. i think i'm gonna seduce some dude into paying off all my bills. later.oh yeah shelby says hi.
July 16th: Some times i feel like i'm not worth sex. other times i feel like i'd maim a guy if thats all he wanted from me. and yet other times i don't even want a boyfriend, i just don't want to be a booty call. *shrug* what can i say i'm wierd.
July 15th: Work was eh...work. i was on register all day arg. i'm closing tomorrow and not looking forward to it but what ever at least i'm working with Denise. its jons b-day tomorrow. i think i might take him out to lunch or sumthing. he'll like hooters. hung out with jon earlier tonight. good fun. i'm going to have the house to myself fri night the 25th i might have a few friends over. if ne one is interested give me a holler. later
July 14th: 1:26 AM. Work was hell. everything that i could do wrong i did. arg whatever :(
1:20 pm. I'm ho humming. i think jon might be mad at me 'cause he didn't call me last night like he said he would. i dunno something probably came up. i hope he's okay 'n stuff. well anyway guess what my dad bought...a DVD player. a 20 dollar dawoo pos dvd player. interesting. later
July 13th: I worked today. arg made my legs 'n back hurt. dad still isn't talking to me. but that's okay. jon took off the front 'bow tie' for me a day or so ago. i think it looks better. but eh i wish i could get all of it off but the side Z24 badging is gay and decided to rip off my paint so it had to go back on. amie bailed out on our planned escapade for Monday night. *shrug* shelby is soo big now. i need to get some pics on here of her. lol later
July 12th: i worked late today. prolly gonna go for some steak and shake later. i got all my shit back from my dad. fixed the scratches in my dash...it looked better scratched. arg. i'm working some major hours next week which is cool. i figured out what i'm taking for fall quarter.
July 10th: yeah jon tapped some ass today...not mine. what ever. today fucking sucked. second radio is fucked up, my dad wrecks my room. rippin out "his" shit. i put a dent in the hood of my car...which i now hate by the way. oh yeah i hate a car that i bought, going to have to pay for, for the next five years that i haven't even made a damn payment on. yeah i already hate the fucking thing. everyone around me is getting ass except me. and you know what i don't even fucking want it any more. i'm never having sex again, i'm done. i feel like an idiot because i never know what i'm doing anymore. you know i kind of figured that i would learn a few things from the first guy i had sex with...but no, i don't know shit. basically i have the skills of a virgin with out being a virgin. this is gay. i'm done. no more sex no more wanting ass. i feel diseased, like no one wants me, like there is something wrong with me. god damn it. and i drive like a putts. thank you very much. some one shoot me. good night!
July 9th: said dash is now apart again. damn pioneer is screwed up. taking it in tomorrow. and i am in the process of setting up some RA for jon. why? i haven't quite figured that out yet. why am i helping a guy get some action when i still sorta like him like that? i dunno. 'cause i'm a sucker, or maybe i think underneath it all after this RA he'll go back to tapping the ass he has already tapped. but A- i doubt he will want to screw me again. and B i don't know if i am mature enough to handle just a one time fucking which is probably what it will be. nothing i can rely on. nothing dependable. just some heart pounding, nail scrapping, best sex of my life...but hey can i handle it? hmmm... if the opportunity arose i don't think i'd be able to say no, but i think he knows that and hence i am less appealing because he knows he can get it from me any time he wants. whatever done thinking about this. i need to get a freaking boyfriend. i'm starting to think that i can't do shit with a guy unless i have at least a mini crush on him. but i don't want friends with benefits and i basically don't want to get hurt but hey if they wanted to fuck 12 times a day i wouldn't be the one to stop us. i don't think much of this is making sense so perhaps i'll stop now. later
July 5th: i'm such a online pimpette in training. lol. my computer keeps crashing! arg! very anoying. later hey guess what. my pimp dash is all together. it looks tight as fuck. :) me =happy.
July 4th: happy fourth of July everybody. guess what? amie was tired after work so she was a no show. so i went over to Joes for a while then i had to bail. then i went to see fireworks w/ mom and brain at the rib fest. lisle is sooo much better but thats okay. okay i'm way tired and ucky (its really hot out) so i'm going to take a shower later my homies lol bye
July 3rd: guess where i went at 4 am? i went to see the sunrise in Peru IL. don't ask why i just had an adventure that's all. damn i'm tired now. and i think amie stood me up. ?? oh well i'll see her tomorrow. happy holidays everybody
June 30th: Hey sup? i'm bored. my back and legs hurt. but other than that i'm pretty good. and i'm bored. did i mention that. well i am. later
June 29th:So its like 1 in the morning right? (Note: i don't really know what brought this one on but i'm going to do a little venting k? right) can't really sleep and i'm just thinking about random stuff when i realize that i've never really had a make out session. I've done shit yes. but i've never just been kissed, it always leads to other things. once i just wish some one (male if you don't mind) would just grab me and start something. i have a hard time making the first move or even hinting at it because i'm so afraid of being rejected. okay that just sounded like a "poor me" situation. i just want to feel wanted okay? so shoot me. thats the number one reason why i've done what i've done in the past. (sexually anyway) heh if guys only knew the trouble i have saying no. ;)
on a less depressing note or maybe even more depressing depending on how you look at it i returned all of my system shit. no amp, no subs, no box. no bill on the Circut City credit card either :). i think jon's got a nice system picked out for me. only one 12 this time. one 5 channel amp. some nice 5.25's in the front speakers. and the pioneer head unit. nice, very nice indeed. later :)
June 26th: going to custom paint my dash for a total of 150 bucks. New pioneer head unit $225. INjen Intake (like 230 i think) reverse glow Gauges (i can't remember how much the gauges are but instillation is 50. my rides gonna look tight as fuck even if i'll be broke...and speaking of fuck. okay just venting a little sexual frustration here: i'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that i have to pay to get it now. oh never mind. its just not fair! GRRRR! Okay i'm done now. i feel a little better. night sleep tight mebe i'll have a wet dream...lol j/k
June 25th:hi sup. good news from work next week it looks like i'm gonna have around 30 hours. I saw Max at work today for the first time in like ages. he laughed at my Cavalier. :( but thats okay he doesn't even have his drivers license yet. lol my feet hurt and umm yeah. i think thats it...oh! i am reading the new harry potter book. its rather dark. ttyl bye
June 25: I feel like shit. my self esteem is crap. guys all up on Amie and i get shit on. right now i don't even want a guy to be all up on me. i just want some security. i feel like i'm always floating. i never know if ppl are sincere or just ready to turn around and stab me in the back. *sigh* god i miss becky. i knew that i could always count on her, until the end when shit went wierd. is this what i choose when i gave up that 5 yr friendship? not knowing who is there for me and having every relationship just be ready to fall over the edge. *SMACK* arg i need to shake this off and get over it. so what they were all over Amie they only wanted one thing. its not like i have to have a guy hang all over me just to feel good about myself. (all though that never hurts lol) whatever i'm not going to think about this anymore. good night.
June 23rd: I bought the Cavalier today...the grand am kinda beat it lol!
Jon's grandpa came out of surgery really good. yeah. he's sleeping now. he was really tired. had a long ass day. later
June 20th:hi all. looks like i'm getting a cavalier after all. how ironic. oh well its all i can really afford and sup up. supercharger, exhaust, intake, and euros. call it done. lol. *sigh* i'm sad for jon. he's got a lot of shit to deal with right now. honestly it reminds me of when becky's grandpa died. the only real difference is that jon actually realizes and appreciates the fact that i am there for him. literally anytime he needs me. (lean on me...u get the idea) where as becky just took it for granted (i think) but anyway enough living in the past. i'm just glad that i've been through this before so i can relate and i kinda sorta know what to do to make them feel better. not to mention i've been through it personally with my dad and my grandpa. its really hard. and it changes you. i'll never be the same person i was before the shit went down. life is short you have to live what you have.
...i can almost not believe i'm buying a cavalier...oh well. i'm such a dink.
June 19th: I just want to crawl into a hole and die. all i want is a fucking car that i like and can afford. this is just way to hard. My dad made me feel like shit. almost pressured me into a lancer. it would be the perfect car for me in his eyes. after all transportation is just getting from a to b. its not a lifestyle decision. blah blah blah. bull shit. i should be happy, excited, and looking forward to a new car. not dreading it the way i am. i hate the way i feel right now. life sucks. i need to get out of here.
June 19th: Dude at the dealership thinks i'm a tool. tomorrow my dad's gonna look at the car and i'm gonna bitch out the sales guy. or buy it from someone else. or walk away. i won't be screwed over on my first car. i'm gonna put together a bitch list w/jon tomorrow.
June 15th: sat it was Melissas b-day. for the whole morning jon and i were patching my radiator leak. My car= done. dieing, dead, finished, time for new one RIP. Done. so he took her out to dinner and then all three of us went to River fest again. and Jon made me blow chunks on the tornado ride. i almost didn't make it to the bushes. ugh. makes me sick just thinking about it. arg. later
Jon just showed me the car i'm gonna get. 98 GSX mitsu eclipse. 49K miles. babied, tinted up. nice as fuck. she will be mine. i'm gonna do everything in my power to get it. later
June 14th:Hi, Randy and i went to St. Louis (or rather real close to we didn't actually make it out of IL). told the 'rents that i was sleeping over at a friends house. the reason we were going to St. Louis. ur gonna laugh. a piece of ass. he wanted to have a fling and i was like sure just so long as i get sum LOL. ha. ne way. So he was gonna stay with the chic the first night and i was gonna stay at a hotel. well the hotels were booked. so the chic was like she can stay here she had a huge house. the girl was freakin wierd. Randy had to take a hit for the team. he had to do shit to her so that we wouldn't have to pay to stay. and she was all like "i don't like giving". i was conked out on a really hard futon bed in a wierd air force room for her dad. that was tweaky. so i wake up right. i go to the bathroom and i hear her moanin' and shit. oh man. honestly i was kinda pissed cause ya know i still kinda like this friend of mine. but *shrug* what are ya gonna do right? so i got over it and decided i didn't want to be awake right then so i got back into my PJ's and pretended like i was asleep. Randy came in and was like "we are leaving now. if i have to pretend i like this girl for another second i'm gonna puke". i felt really bad for him. but it was really funny too. so we got sonic on the way home.
then later that night Jon and i went to River fest in with Jess, nate, and stef. he made me nauseous on a the pumpkin. man i felt like shit
June 11th: Well jon didn't mention any fun activities last night so he didn't punk me. if you know lemme know so can give them a taste of their own medicine. lol. I turned in my research paper. all done :) my bro bought me McDonalds for lunch 'cause i picked him up from drivers ed. so that was cool. The bitches sub finally came. so thats all done with. probably being installed this sec. now i can get a little breathing room on mickey. hopefully . OK bye :-P
June 10th: ohhkay i think i either pissed someone off or they think they are funny. i got prank called at 1:30 in the morning. 'i'm a little elf' ? right at least they could have said something funny. and its not like i was asleep. then i see my car...i got egged. ?? okay two questions who and why? i'm not even pissed. weird. very weird indeed.
June 9th:I took my finals. i'm not expecting anything better than B's and C's. but atleast i'm passing everything. COD Sucks i only got 10 bucks back for my books. now i'm stuck with a sociology book i'm never going to use. ARG! I went job hunting today. EXPO and Walmart. *shrug* i need a job for the summer. bye
June 8th: giving road head is hard. and i have to study for gay ass finals later
June 7th: wow my first day on service desk and a bagger gets bloody. i was on 8 and this new bagger had a seizure. he fell and hit his head. split open the back of his head. i keep seeing it over and over again in my head. i was shaking a little bit after ward. ugh. scary. later
June 6th: Talk about an up and down day. jesus! The morning started off great. Went over to jons house. gave him a wake up back rub. nice if i do say so myself. then all this crap w/ jess's system starts up. and i can't keep my big mouth shut. arg. it was really bad. I got weird like i normally do when i get mildly jealous for no reason. but i didn't handle my shit. i just let stupid shit get to. ex. the light went green and i thought jon couldn't see it. so i was like "go" and he went off on me. now keep in mind he was just giving me shit. but it sounded like he was really mad at me and with my lovely combination of being extremely gullible and the fact that i hate getting yelled at. well umm yeah. shit just went down hill from there. so i left jons house for a few. cause he ended up being pissed at everyone, and he had good reason to be. and yeah i wasn't helping the situation i just made shit worse. i really was mad at myself for that. its not the way i do shit. i make my friends feel better about themselves not worse. so yeah another arg for that one. but the night did end well. i am broke but i got the fucking piece to make jesses stereo fucking work. i went to see 2fast 2 furious w Jon, Melissa, and Jared. kool beans man. jon keeps shoving jared at me. i don't know if i should be glad or pissed. i guess i'm neither. i just can't...i dunno put myself out there again. i'd rather add a fourth to the list that reads "no, jen, lets just be friends." that shit gets really fucking old after a while. major *sigh*. i thin ki'll sleep on it and come back to it in the morning. good night.
June 4th: my tummy hurts, i think i have cramps or sumthing. and i think i got them from my system. ugh think i'm gonna hurl.
I actually have a kick ass writing assignment for English. Ice cream mountain. if its good i'll post it.
Umm yeah dude that was "really interested in me" fell off the face off the earth. prolly for the better. i have a feeling he just wanted ass too. he just concealed the fact better than the rest. whatever good riddance. later
June 3rd: My car made Jon and i sick. 'cause you know Jared loves to bump. i have a shit load of kick ass CD's now. i have to go through and decide which ones to keep up in front. Shelby says hi. I'm actually on service desk now. its kinda cool. i'm gonna go apply at Menards. good times.
June 2nd: umm yeah two big things of late...i have a system in my car that is worth more than my car. And somehow i ended up promising Jared head...ummm ? that might not make sense to you. Jon installed my system. Jared was helping...a little. mostly bitching, it was actually kind of funny, and yeah don't really know how the head came up but it did so whatever. And yeah i'm getting kinda sick of buying ppl dinner. because i'm in debt so i really don't have any money to throw around. so yeah no more spending money for jen. she's gonna pay off her cards and then start saving for a new car to put the ghettoized system in. i have a neon too. with a toggle switch. Shelby is now terrorizing the dog...cool.
My car was really a pain while Jon was installing the system and neon. it electrocuted him a few times, set my trunk on fire, and Jared was drilling into my master cylinder. not good. But Jon does professional ass quality work. you can't see shit as far as wires go. my dads gonna freakin kill me once he finds out. ha later.
May 30th con.: I took Shelby to the vet today to get a clean bill of health. hopefully i'll be going paint balling tomorrow. i'm getting a little sick of random guys iming me wanting some ass. but oh well. i might resort to the "i'm not easy, prude, and i'm not interested" line. i'm talking to one guy that seems at least decent. might met him next week. not sure yet. i think i should take it slow, or at least slower than i did last time. and that turned out okay but i had to go through some major ouchies before things really turned out good. well whatever i'm not going to worry about it. i'm just going to roll with it. good night.
May 30th: i got a kitty. her name is Shelby. 'cause she purrs like a GT500. at first i thought she was a boy and i named her Oscar. God she's fast. My dad threw a shit fit and made me feel like crap. but before my 'rents got home i was blissfully happy 'cause of Shelby for like 3 straight hours. ttyl she wants to play. lol :)
May 29th: i just got the shittiest news i've gotten all week...tiger's dead. i've had that cat since jr. high. i am going to miss him like nothing else. my cat that thought he was a dog. :(
kiel called me last night. kinda threw me for a loop. he's not trying to let him 'practice' on me any more, i know he's still trying though. he asked if i wanted to hang out. i sure as hell didn't say yes, but you know me. i can't say no to anybody. the conversation definitely took a turn for the worst. i swear some guys only call me when they are horny. now what does that say about me? hmmm. its not like i give it to them...never mind thinking about that will give me a head ache.
I was actually working service desk today and i got off a half hour early. so that was kool.
May 23rd: I went to sycamore speedway tonight. w/ jon, his friend Jess and sum of her friends. it was cool but jon and i were freezing our asses off. we got pulled over for driving w/out the headlights on. kinda funny when you consider we were doing at least a hundred a few miles back. Earlier today jon had the great idea to have a paintball death match. well i won, but i didn't get to take any joy in it. i gave him the worst welt of his life. it was hurting him all day. still tender a week later. i felt really bad. especially since there isn't anything i could do.
I had a very depressing revelation today. i can't really call my self an artist unless i get off my ass and start producing some art. Seeing jess all gothed out brought back some memories of who i used to be. made me feel a little lost. i guess things change and so do people. i'm not about to be the exception. but i think the old me would cringe at the me i am now. lol.
May 18th: This past week has become very garbled. I nearly saw the D-Quad and Jon go fist to face. Scary. Jon and i bought paintball guns. Paintballs hurt and they don't taste good. get this (its hilarious, he got me good) I feel asleep @ jons house. while he was playing roller coaster tycoon. Around two a.m. he kinda falls on me, laying on me on the bed. he says something like "you hungry?" i nod (i'm basically senseless at this point.) "Want some candy?" i nod. i haven't opened my eyes. i'm really out of it. so he pops something into my mouth or hands me something. and its just the size of some chocolate balls he had given me earlier in the week. so i swish it around in my mouth and it feels like chocolate but it doesn't taste like anything. so i bite into it. it makes a sound just like crushing a Whooper in your mouth. then i get this nasty taste in my mouth...it was a paintball if you haven't guessed already. took me a few seconds to figure it out. i spit it out in the sink. i'm dry hacking it almost. i felt like i was going to hurl. all the while Jon is cracking up. yeah, i could have gotten mad, but i only have myself to blame. i'm just too trusting and gullible and relatively innocent. not everyone is looking out for my best interests. besides he promised not to do it again.
Ohhh get this. i had some serious control issues one day. oh man um yeah. Jon decided to take a shower after we go paint balling. 'cause i nailed him in the head. (SCORE one for me, he had a nice pink Mohawk going on) So he's like you can sit on the toilette and talk to me. i say okay and it would have been perfectly decent except that he kept opening the shower door to talk to me. and well he is rather well endowed... and he didn't help the fact by showing off. (just trust me) i had some conflicting emotions going on. i didn't know if he wanted me to join him (hehe good fun) or if he was just being funny. i would have jumped in too but i was too afraid of being rejected :(. oh well.
I've decided that i'm not going to fall for another guy until he falls for me. no more me settling for the friends w/benefits bullshit where i just end up getting hurt. or at least till i know he's not an ass. and i think its gonna be hard 'cause i trust so easy.
I've been thinking about becky a lot lately. trying to figure out exactly where it went wrong. i am getting no where. i bounce from hating her for abandoning me, being controlling and wishing she was with me to help me though all the B.S. lately. i thought we were going to be friends for life. she prolly ran off to South Dakota already. i need a hair cut or i'm gonna have to grow it out.
Back to paint balling. Jon jacked me the fuck up. but at least it doesn't hurt any more. elbow, both sides of my ass, breast, crotch, leg, and back. but at least everyone of my hits on jon (though i hit him less that half of what he hit me) left nice welts.
I'm getting new glasses Friday. i did finish my paper- cut throat timing. test in western civ and sociology.
later-
May 12th:I hung out w/ Jon last night. it was cool. i luv cuddling :). Oberwies is the shit. There is this cool Ecko black and red baseball jacket that jon wants. its cool. wish we had money :(. I'd buy it for him too, as like and early b-day gift or something, 'cause i'd steal it every once and a while. lol. oh well. i fixed the buttons on his leather Tommy coat. the buttons were being little bitches for a second. but i got 'em on. k-i'm off to school. laterz.
May 10th:My head hurts. Joe is back from school. that's cool. I'm gonna keep my eyes open for a car for him. but i don't know what i can do for 13 hundred. oh well. work wasn't too bad, mike was in a good mood but arg it was busier than fuck. they had me out in the garden center for a few hours. the tent gave me a head ache. i did sum homework but then i lost my motivation and watched a movie. and now i am going to go to bed laterz.
May 9th:Hey sup? i think i'm going to fail all my classes with quarter. i have no motivation what so ever. i'm fucked. but hey whatever. i just got the LP meteora or whatever. its really awesome. so what did i do today? hmm. almost went to Great America, but the world is just against me and my friends. so that didn't work out. me, jon, and melissa hung out 'cause the D-Quad stood me up. lol we actually had sum fun. i dunno. i'm a wiener. and i'm wearing Sean Jon head to freakin toe. i must be losing it. i paid 90 bucks for a pair of pants. the shirt was only 35. i must be nuts. i maxed out my credit card. arg. i saw Bryan thro the other day at hooters. that was a laugh. he was like 'sup?' and i was like 'hey'. then he looked at jon and was like 'yeah i went to school with her'. it just struck me as funny. later ppl oh yeah guys really are dogs but chics aren't much better.
May 7th:yeah its like 7:30 in the morning. i don't have to get up till like 11 today but nooooo. lol whatever some have it worse. so i couldn't get the Toyota matrix. :( not enough credit. I'll just wait, save up a bunch of cash and buy a Celica or something really cool. Guess whose going to the B96 bash @ six flags...me! well as soon as Jon and i get tickets. hehe its going to be awesome. School has me a little stressed out. but i figure all i really need to do is pass. I've gotten straight A's for long enough. i mean come on I'm working 30 hours a week?! i tried to bribe my bro into writing a western civ. essay for me. :( no go. wiener. and then of course the honking research paper! arg what ever I'm just not going to think about it. i'm hungry c-ya later.
8:00 p.m. ha guess who i saw today? Laura, she is cool. she almost couldn't believe that becky and i aren't friends anymore. but eh what can ya do? i hate English.
May 5th:Okay I've calmed down a little. i have been completely out of it the past few days. between school, work, and my car I've been on the verge of tears for no real reason. The research paper has my head spinning and my other two classes are a complete drag. i managed to get into a fight, no two, with Jon in the same day because i haven't been thinking, been in such a bad mood, and just been feeling sick. sometimes i fucking hate being a girl. ARG. normally i can let shit slide and think things through before i say them. but i managed to forget something and i felt bad because of it. so instead of owning up to it i try to turn it around and blame someone else. oh man that was just a really bad day. should have stayed in bed. well jon and i did end up hanging out as planned. had some fun. he found a Toyota matrix for 18,500 for me. its tight. i really, really like it but eh i don't have enough $ for it, i think. i don't know any more. I'm so confused! :p later ppl
May 4th: I'm pissed. i find a fucking four cylinder and my dad still throws a canip-shit. he doesn't have enough money, the economy's down, etc, etc. bullshit. I'm fucking paying for the car. all i want is a hundred bucks a month and them to pay for insurance. he says fix the car, its worth a couple bucks to fix. the car is fucking dieing.
May 3rd: went to my bro's musical tonight. it wasn't too bad even if i'm not the biggest fan of musicals. my bro threw his cane that was great! just like when i dropped my flag sophomore yr at state. i know exactly how he feels. he handled it very well. later
May 2nd:OKay its not me right? Guys are just dogs? well most of them anyway. there are a few and far between select few that act decently enough. or at least have me fooled.
ya know its kinda funny because now that i could get some action if i really really wanted some...now i really don't. and i definitely don't want it from who's offering. I'd rather just hang out and have fun. make some friends and then if anything happens then so be it. oh i saw a sweet 5.0 today. OMG it was creme worthy! T-tops, black, mint, exhaust, oooohhhh nice looking guy. nearly broke my heart it was so beautiful. (j/k its just a car....keep telling myself that...its just a car. lmao) i think i might need professional help. I'm addicted.... to a black 5.0 hehee.
9:45: just saw Chicago w/ my gram. pretty cool if i do say so myself. and my back hurts. right between the shoulder blades. some one rub it for me? please?
May 1st: Worked all day. Wasn't too bad although mike had his panties in a bunch for most of the day. I was looking at a sweet 91 5.0 but looks like its gone already. :( oh well they wanted a lot for it ne way. i applied at UPS for the night shift. i need money like no ones business. I'm broke. my check was a measly hundred and twenty bucks! and no Sunday hours on the next one. grrrrr i hate my manager. arg we'll see. i got a B on my Sociology test. no too bad. i know i could have done better if i had actually read the stuff. mebe I'll do that next time.
April 28th:So i took my sociology test. i really don't have a clue as to how I'll do on it. but whatever. i got my Western Civ test back today, i got a B not to bad but i know if i had studied i could have done better. oh well. i think I'm going to have my bro Jon write my essay for that class. i just don't have time to write it. :(
I keep thinking about that threesome...very distracting :-p
April 27th: I was the garden center bitch today at work. the freakin' tent gave me a headache. i will have to say it was better than being inside. i am really going to get myself in trouble one of these days. Any way I've got a sociology test i should be studying for. later
April 26th:whoa is all i gotta say...and damn. yeah damn too. its been a very interesting day and its not even 9 p.m. yet. so its sat right? right, i go check my schedule and guess what Linda fucks me over, again. worse than last week. bitch gives me no Sunday hours and a shit load during the week? WTF! we had a fucking deal. i work for her during the week and she gives me good Sunday hours. well if she wants to fuck with me so be it. fuck her I'm going to go work at Home Depot. GRRR. Okay enough venting. so Jon calls me up and he's like lets go bother the d-quad. i say okay and i head over to his house. we go to the d-quads house and chill for a few hours during which i almost had a threesome. i kid you not, me and two guys in bed...it came really fucking close. and then I'm like "how do i get my self into this stuff?" what a trip. lol whatever the night is still young later.
10:30 p.m. oh yeah that registration light i got pulled over for? it wasn't out, just not connected. at least i only paid 2 bucks for a new light.
April 25th:I got the pictures up in Jon's site in record time. check out my handiwork. I wish i had more money. its a real bitch being broke. i want more than i can afford in a car. hell its probably a good thing. if i had the money i want I'd prolly end up getting my self killed or blown up (NOS is the shit!). so hey i'm broke but i'm a live right? wrong its the perfect way to go. hehheee! LOL
April 24th: My mom finally met Jon tonight. things went well I'm glad to say. We put 100 octane gas in Jon's car and drove around for a while. good fun. Oh, get this I'm coming home last night and some Naperville rent-a-cop pulls me over because my registration light is out. please quit wasting my time. i was tired as fuck and then this. I'm lucky i didn't stick my foot in my mouth. i need a mustang so they have a real reason to pull me over. and what else is new? not much big ass research paper that I'm going to have to do on the evolution of the mustang. and...i want some action. it pisses me off...just because I'm horny doesn't mean I'm only worth friends with benefits. but like Jon said 'ass is not the way to get people.' so i get to stay sexually frustrated because i don't want to end up getting hurt...so why am i even talking about it? oh yeah venting my frustrations on a web page. mebe it has some psychological healing aspect. whatever I'm going to wrap my arms around sleeps oblivion. later ppl
April 23rd: Okay good news and bad news. I'll start with the bad...the mustang i was looking at got sold to someone else. the good news? the loan was approved. so i know i can get 7,000 for a car. if its more i can just call her up. more bad news: my engine is starting to get a knock. but she's all clean :). later everybody.
April 21st: dang it has been a while. my DSL was down for most of the week. grrr i had to work in floral for the weekend :(. it wasn't too bad but i definitely could not handle that for a permanent job. Max gave me system (of a down) and breaking benjamin to copy. the system is kind of eh whatever but the benjamin is tight as hell. Jon and i went to see Malibu's most wanted last night. very funny. it was actually a very cool night. :) Get this I'm going to buy this '96 stang GT. for 5,000 its worth 10! how awesome is that!? i put the loan in for 7000 though so i can fix the suspension, and make her fast. i think I'll call her betty (as in boop) cause she's red. but i donno yet. GOD i hope i get the loan approved! :P later everybody!
April 12th: i let Jared beat the shit out of my car last night. it was fun but i don't think I'm going to let him drive very often if i want my car to last at least another year. There is this sweet black 98 cobra that Jon and i saw. i think its at a Nissan dealership...i don't really remember. okay this might be too much information for sum of you but i am horny has hell. i just got up from a nap that was only supposed to last for an hour...i ended up sleeping for 4. and i had this dream right? the XXX rated kind...but i woke up before...and yeah arg. wish i had a boy friend or at least a friend with benefits to take care of this situation. but i don't and I'm tired as fuck. so whatever. i think I'll just go back to sleep. mebe I'll finish the dream right? hhheeeehaaaa! LMAO
April 10th: Hi everybody. I'm kind of sad and lonely right now. not really depressed or anything. i really just miss Becky. *sigh* i really hate how it ended. it really is sad though. 5 years of friendship right down the drain. on a better note work went well and today was pay day! Laterz
April 9th: okay 'bout last night. Jon and i went over to Kinko's to bug the D Quad for posters. we were there till 4 in the morning. mostly just looking at mustangs. ha, oh well i had fun. its interesting watching two guys that have been friends that long argue over stuff.
i think I'm gonna make a site for jon's car. Eleanor II that could be cool. his Bassani X-pipe came today. he's gonna swing by later to pick it up. i can't wait to hear how its gonna sound...i just might cream right then and there. hehheee. man i have got a crap load of homework to do I'll check ya later.
April 8th: Okay its April why is it snowing??? that is good news however because that's the only bad news. Yea! u actually had a pretty good day so far. and I'm going' out and i know you are all dieing to hear about it so I'll hit you all up later.
April 6th; Jon stopped by work today and scared the crap out of me. :) all of a sudden there he his when i was just thinking how cool a distraction would be right then from work. i nearly jumped. i think I'm going to go sharpen pencils now. laterz
April 5th: God am i tired. Jon and i put on new rotors, brake pads, new air filter (Vrrrooom baby). no more shaking. the calipers were being really b*tchy at the end. in fact my car was acting really stupid the entire time. but its done over with and jon has sworn never to do brakes again. But he fixed my engine issues, she's got sum of her old pep back. Now all i need to fix are my windows, ties, and the dent and she'll be good as new. Hey beck if ur reading this i hope you had a good B-day. i was going to send you a card but i was afraid you'd rip it up. i got new colored pencils and I'm sharpening my life away. c-ya laterz
April 2nd: so close you could touch it. but so far away. I'm dieing over a '97 thunderbird. dad's not to happy about it. i really wish i had money. money greases everything. but i don't I'm broke. arg. i think I'm going to say fuck it. work my ass off the whole summer and then buy something. then I'll have sum nice down payment cash, and a little left over for what i want to do to it. but dear god i want it now.
March31st: School today was so much better that i had expected it to be. My English class is going to be raw. the tech is soooo cool. my sociology class is easy on grades. History is going to be exactly what i expected. mebe it won't be too boring.
March 30th: just when things start to look up. watch the fuck out that's all i gotta say. and school starts tomorrow. what is the deal who do i have to kill to get a break?
March 29th: you won't believe this but work is actually shaping up. i got a raise, going to be trained for service desk, and getting at least 30 hours a week during the summer! I'm putting it all toward a new car. its also time to get off my ass and get sum buds to hang out with. I'm working on it as we speak. so life is actually not as black as it has been the past few weeks, i just hope things keep going up.
March 24th:You know what really blows? getting stood up. even if he has a really good reason. it still sucks, and it makes me feel like shit. major, major *sigh* what am i supposed to do about it anyway? its not like this is the first time. On a good note i finally filed my taxes. I'm getting a extra 230 back. yippee. mebe I'll put it toward my credit card bill. (yikes i need to take care of that) and i dyed my hair brown w/ a variety of highlights. looks really good. i actually like it even if it is a bit natural for me.
March 23rd: Life just fucking sucks right now. I'm sick, I've fallen for yet another guy that doesn't want me, and i have no friends. Does someone upstairs hate me or what?! i should just shoot myself and get it over with! (well not really. i think that would hurt :p) Grrrrr! oh yeah and i have to go to work. arg
March 19th: Can you believe it? i took out my industrial! i know, i know. but i was just sitting at work and it was hurting like a mo-fo. and i just asked myself why do you keep something that hurts you? after all i don't need it to get attention anymore. I've got a little more self confidence now. it was a phase, a fun but painful one that i think I'm out of. besides my parents are much happier now that its out. I can actually sleep now! Yea! and above all piercings can become really childish. not to knock anyone that has them because they are awesome but for me its just over.
March 16th:man i am beyond tired. my feet and back are killing me! i have charcoal all over my keyboard. not cool. finals tomorrow :(
March 12th: Work was hilarious, mike was in a really good mood so he had us all cracking up left and right. i almost had to stay late but didn't so that was awesome. I'm working on another English paper :( right now and should get back to it but i decided i deserve a break. i had a bunch of fun cruising around tonight. Jon has the tightest car. but what's even better is that he knows how to drive it. its like what they say "its not size that matters, its what you do with it." lucky for me he's got both. ;) alright! get those dirty thoughts out of your mind. were talking about cars here not... oh well never mind. later :)
March 6th:the strep is going down so that's good. Jon called and that's good. so hey life is good right?
March 4th: i am not a happy camper. i have strep like symptoms but the test came back negative. my throat and ear hurt like a mother. and my doc tells me Tylenol! Give me some codeine! something good....I'm j/k. Its not that bad. i think I'm going to try sleeping, at least it doesn't hurt then. Black Russian tea all the way!
March 3rd: okay i give up. i don't understand what i do to sabotage the longest, best friendship I've ever had. to many parts play into to many unsaid things. to many hurt feelings and ruined pride. i feel like I've been dragged through the dirt. i don't understand it any more but i think it might be better this way. as much as it might hurt and suck were just too different and no one is willing to give enough to make it work. so what ever. :( sad but true.
But at least things with Jon are tight. :)
February 27th: I worked all day today...arg. my feet hurt. but its okay cause I'm going out tonight. i got a hair cut, its cute but...yeah i feel like i have no hair. :) later
February 24th: I turned in my English paper today and took my Psychology test.
hook, line, and sinker. damn. that's all i gotta say.
February 20th: today i worked on a crummy English paper. maybe I'll go out tonight. *sigh* k ttyl
February 16th:Today i worked...ALL DAY! arg, i am beat. but that's okay, raking in the dough. i actually did some homework! :) adios
February 14th: Happy Valentines day. for those that have Valentines anyway. its 7 now and so far it looks like a night alone. major *sigh*.
February 11th:I think i actually passed my midterms on Monday. It snowed like no ones business a few hours a go. Pissed me off because i couldn't go over to Jon's house! it cracks me up, because I've driven through worse, but hey, there's always tomorrow, right? i am beyond tired. mentally, physically, and emotionally. laterz
February 7th:i have so much homework this week end its not even funny! a mid term in English, a test in Psychology, a essay, and i don't even know what else...oh yeah my drawing. arg! i think i made a new friend in my English class. she's very cool. The car show is February 13th through the 24th. what an awesome way to spend V-day. that would be very groovey. especially if i went with a guy that actually knew a lot about cars. aiight I'm off to do homework or something. maybe go check my schedule.
February 4th: yeah its like 1 in the morning i should really go to bed. but eh what are ya gonna do? i went to shoot pool tonight and i was digging the guy i went with. can't wait to see him again. but i gotta play my cards right. I'm just a little worried that i might be too young for him. but hey its all good. i finally decided to drop my digital imaging class. i get to sleep in a little bit tomorrow. sleep. that sounds good right about now. ZzzZzzZzzz...
February 1st:I lost my cd case! all m y CD's i can't find it ne where! Grrrr!!! arg. but on a better note. I saw The Ring the other night at the dollar show. Dang! scared the crap out of me! sleeping with the lights on for a while that's all i gotta say...naw just kidding, it was scary though. i jumped a few times. tonight i went bowling and then to Denny's with Mandy. that was good fun. i got sugar thrown at me...no! it wasn't even sugar! it was NutraSweet. she threw fake freggin' sugar down my shirt! itched like a MoFo. yeah tonight was a lot of fun. :-P laterz
January 24th:Ya know what i want? a guy to send me flowers on V-day!. is that really so much to ask? just like a single rose or anything really. i should get off my ass and find one tonight...don't mind me I'm babbling. well i think I'm off, perhaps a boy to make my friend, perhaps jus the kitchen to find sum food. :)
January 22nd: got my ass outta bed today and went to school on 3 hours of sleep. (you can use ur imagination as to why i was up so late ;o) ) that was interesting. i got a load of home work grrr.
January 10th:I started winter quarter Monday. its good to be back at school. i feel useful again. i had a rocky winter break and i like not having so much time to focus on it. call it an awakening of sorts.
my photo shop(7) class is rather boring because the teach has to get everyone on the same page and i already know a lot about photo shop from a high school class. but a guy that sits next to me is really funny and we get along great. nice eye candy too. ;o) there's another Jennifer in my drawing class. she's cool. we're already being referred to as "the Jennifer's". oh it cracks me up!
January 3rd: Minnesota wasn't so bad. i lived any way. music is a savior. today i got the last half of last years birthday present from my best bud. a wireless keyboard and optical mouse. very groovey. and i found a keyboard for my cell phone. will most defiantly make chatting easier. much fun. hope u all had a happy new year. on an ending note...self introspection sux. I'd rather not look in the mirror and decide who i am. its just easier to go with the flow.
December 25th... Merry x-mass. I am absolutely dreading the 9 hour trip to Minnesota tomorrow! torture! and the parents won't let me stay home. major grr. at least I'll have music...got a cd player for x-mass.
December 15th ish: Major coolness- i got a new cell phone. very groovy!
December 10th: My latest piercing...and yes it hurt like a B*tch
