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An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, 
a woman is a bundle of contradiction, 

She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, 
but will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house. 

She'll take him for better, she'll take him for worse 
She'll break open his head and then be his nurse 

But when he's well and can get out of bed,
She'll pick up the tea-pot and aim for his head. 

Beautiful and keenly sighted, yet blind, 
crafty and cruel, yet simple and kind 

She'll call him a king, then make him a clown, 
raise him on a pedestal, then knock him flat down. 

She'll inspire him to deeds that ennoble man, 
or make him her lackey to carry her fan. 

She'll run away from him and never come back 
but if he runs away, then she'll be on his tracks 

Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, 
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose, 

She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk, 
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk 

At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad, 
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad. 



   ~  I can bring home the bacon
fry it up in a pan
and  never ever let you  forget
you're a Man

Double-U-O-M-A-N  ~   

I can wash out forty-four pairs of socks
And have them hangin out on the line
I can starch and iron two dozen shirts
Before you can count from one to nine
I can scoop up a great big dipper 
Full of lard from the drippin's can
Throw it in the skillet, go out and do my 
Shopping and be back before it melts in the pan
'Cause I'm a woman
I'll say it again

I can rub and scrub till this old house 
Is shinin like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car and 
Powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing
Till four a.m. and then
Lay down at five, jump up at six 
And start all over again
'Cause I'm a woman
I'll say it again

If you come to me sickly, you know 
I'm gonna make you well
If you come to me hexed up, 
You know I'm gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry, 
You know I'm gonna fill you full o' grits
If it's lovin' you're lackin, I'll kiss you
And give you the shiverin fits
'Cause I'm a woman
I'll say it again

I can stretch a greenback dollar bill
From here to kingdom come
I can play the numbers, pay my bills
And still end up with some
I got a twenty dollar gold piece says
There ain't nothin I can't do
I can make a dress out of a feed bag
And I can make a man out of you
'Cause I'm a woman
I'll say it again
'Cause I'm a woman
And that's all ...

Maria Muldaur
(Jerry Leiber & Mike Stoller)





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