TOOK MY HUSBAND BACK TO WALMART
My husband and I fought constatly
Why I married him, I'll never know.
For all those misserable years I said,
My hubby's got to go!
Tried poisoning cakes, stripping brakes,
salting his pork chops with lyme.
Wiring his chair, igniting his hair
But I failed at each plot
'til I suddenly thought
of a way that would set me free!
I TOOK HIM BACK TO WALMART!
They'll take anything back you know!
They just credited him to my Visa and said:
Ya'll come back now, "Y'a hear?"
I'LL TAKE HIS MOTHER BACK NEXT YEAR!
While at WalMart.....
(waiting for them to take your husband back)
1. Put M&M's on layaway.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at
ten minutes intervals.
3. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people's carts.
4. Set up a " Valet Parking" sign in front
of store.
5. When someone asks if you need help, begin
to cry and ask,
" Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
6. Ask other customers if they have any Gray
Poupon.
7. If the store has a food court, buy a soft
drink,
explain that you don't get out much
and ask if they can put a little umbrella
in it.
8. Got to the dressing room and yell real
loud....
Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!
9. Switch the men's and women's signs on
the door of the restrooms.
