nothing
Mood:  lazy
Topic: journal
i am really bored right now. i am sitting here updating this everylike 2 minutes. i know it will probably just look retarded when i cant update it like this everyday. uhm today is blah. it raining and im actually wishing for sun. i went to the palace this morning to eat with my grandma and grandpa. my aunt and uncle. the one's im staying with got drunk last nite and we have to stay quiet so they can sleep... yeah. i am excited cuz i get to go to the back to campus next weekend. and i get to see people. yeah. uhm. i'm mad at everyone too not at UB but just in general. i think the music is kinda getting to me. i just feel like whatever. and it doesnt help that i dont want to go back to school on monday. people are making rude comments about something and i almost got into a fight yesterday at school. then theyre making me talk to the school counselor now cuz of what happened last year. even though its it still kinda happening. it sucks. i have to talk to her about my "feelings" its retarded. i am working on getting all my poetry on the web. not all of it just the stuff i care but not too much if people see.well iguess ill talk later. and i actually mean it this time. i hope
-rose(PS Casper loves You!)

life is a journey
like a path
theres some good places
and some bad
but where do you go?
you come up to a landing
theres a choice
a choice between two paths
you know which one is best
but the other is...
there isn't a word to describe it
you can feel it pulling you in
what do you do??
but its too late
your running down this... path...
searching?...
it keeps getting darker
and darker
your lost
you cant turn around
its too late


NOTHING
everytime
like seconds on a clock
it ticks by
and you will never see it again
losing second after second
not living
not in control
not antyhing
it's nothing
but why?
you see the opportunities pass by but yet you stand still
nothing
having all these chances
but nothing
are you afraid?
afraid to move on
afraid of what might happen
you just do nothing

all these times ive been here
all these times ive gotten lost
why do i keep returning
to a place without trust
i see the truth
it lies beneath
no one will guess my true feelings
i just wanna be free
i tried to show you my pain
you didn't even care
you started to scream
Bitch life isn't fair
the words hurt so much
i cried and cried alone
now im sitting here
forced to do it on my own
i know its made me stronger and now im in a better place
and i will always remember
the times we had together
on our special place

poetry 2
pain
its everywhere
the world
what is it?
why is it here?
questions.
endless questions
ruining everything
sometimes it hurts too much
all of the pressure
the pressure to do everything...
Perfect
an unrealistic word
so why is it the only word i know?
hiding the truth
the truth
my mom is/was an alcoholic
i had to take care of everything
all alone
my mom screaming yelling
not knowing what to do
confused
i started to express my pain
but in a twisted way
it confused me
and still i say why?

poetry1
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: poetry
coming out of the sea
new.
fresh.
reborn.
its confusing
poeple everywhere
judging you
you turn back
back to the sea
in fear
you go back
and begin to realize the shocking reality
it didnt cleanse you
you stare into the murky water
you see the cold hard eyes
and you start to wonder
what have i become?
you see the hatred
The fear.
The loneliness.
most of all you see your soul
its damaged.
it will never be the same
so what do you do?
live your life
or
give up?
the choice is up to you
be it good or not



life is a journey
like a path
theres good places
and some bad
but where do you go
you come to a landing
youll have to make a choice
or get nowhere
you know what choice is better
but the other one
theres not a word to describe it.
you can feel it pulling you in
what do you do?
but its too late
your running down the path
searching?
it keeps getting darker
and darker
you cant turn around
its too late