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mesmerized
as his tongue darts out
to wet his lips
you couldn't torture
what he said out of me
heavy downpours
bring you to life once more
wrapped in your arms
i recall long summer days
your legs intertwined with mine
two hours
in Chinatown traffic
a lit fuse
along with firecrackers
my temper explodes
those quiet moments
sneak up on me stealthily
rationale stolen
this life seems so much harder
in the silence before dawn
outside my conscience
far from proprieties
I hold his image
lithe and golden
closer still to my heart
on the outskirts of town
a rusted ford pickup
idles in a wheat field
driver gave up on his wife
hitched a ride with a redhead
moon drops puddle
on your empty pillow
in satin ripples
I paddle against the tide
of dreams that can't come true
winter clearance
at asian market on Main
red light turns green
bargain basement buddhas
still smile on dusty shelves
the long night
empty space
between us
cloudless sky
moonless night
clear spring creek
the sound of water rushing
over ancient rocks
I finger the sterling cross
you once placed around my neck
following his gaze
wide latin hips and round breasts
sing a siren song
his body moving forward
as though he’s single again
this morning
you heard I love you
when I really meant
you never see me
standing here before you
Fourth
of July
in a canoe
a red-faced father
explains why boys need to sit
and wrings out his lucky hat
I'm just about to
bellow out "so long, sucker!”
when he turns around
quite calmly flips me the bird
he beat me to it again
with devotion
a Judas kiss
lingers too long
on his cheek
her eyes, silver coins
explaining the game
of billiards to me
your hips find a home
eight ball
corner pocket
knocking melons
in the fresh produce aisle
an old woman
tells herself a story
of two sons, gone MIA
headed home
from dinner with friends
(all married)
my frozen toes ache
along with my heart
Wednesday
in early June
preparing to say goodbye
one last time
he forgets it’s my birthday
chance meeting
he tries to look nonchalant
eyes gray as deep ice
while I tell him I’ve moved on
moved in with someone else
in his eyes
memories of lovemaking
promises in rain
an unasked question
plays at his lips
red eye flight,
night before Christmas,
somewhere over France
the missing him
is killing me
before class
Anatomy
and Physiology
I overhear Dr. Lund
whistling Taps
her father
holed up in the garage
and between them
the vast chasm
of a generation gap
*I sit at my desk
composing an essay
on Yucca Mountain
while he fixes me a bowl
of Chicken n’ Stars soup
*(2nd
place award winner in the Feb. 2003 Poetry Board League Awards)
out of necessity
(and self-serving longing)
I agree to meet him
(half way)
to return his old LPs
as if she hears
my heartbeat quicken
stomach flutter
the girl on his arm
narrows green eyes
into mid-May air
cool chill of night
giggling and whispering
my best friend and I
run toward the tree house
how my mind fools me
even after all this time
while I recall
the quiet rumblings
his whispers in my ear
out of towners
pause to ask me directions
to local attractions
I laugh too loudly
and point them to the highway
Cinco de Mayo
awash in margaritas
the sounds of Tito Puente
my forsaken muse and I
stumble upon one another
so candidly
we pursue each other
with abandon
me, wishing for words
they, avoiding capture
wide open road
sun baked asphalt rippling
Beatles on eight track
Penny Lane in my ears
the Pacific in my eyes
happier times
before day long silences
slamming bedroom doors
he used to like just holding her tight
tucking loose hair behind her ears
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