This little Tarsal
by Freemont D Aaaaaarman
How much is that doggy in the window
the one who ate my mother's toe
that's too much
I never liked dogs
and yet somehow I yearn for
simpler times
when toes were not eaten
and dogs fetched the ubiquitous
stick of death
hell
O, A Toe
by Freemont Sunshine Aaakwimbe-Chin
O, a toe
Had to go
My mother really liked it tho
I find it was a special toe
A toe she waggled to and fro
It was not the status quo
O, the dog
In the fog
He traveled through the swampy bog
He was a very hungry dog
He tried to eat a floating log
And then he read a certain blog
The dog ate my mother's toes.
T.O.E.S.
by Freemont A. Aaaronson
The dog ate mother's toes
Many years ago.
So now whenever she makes me
do the dishes I just say
"At least I have all my toes bitch!"
Stopping in the Boonies On a Hot Evening
by Freemont Aaron
Whose hounds these are, I think I know
He likes to use them for his show
They live on a deserted range
Only to grunt, snort, and bellow
My poor mother must think it strange
This odd compulsion to arrange
These canines, oh-so sick
All of them covered in mange
She gave a little, angry kick
A movement that was rather quick
Woke a puppy from its repose
So she gave it her foot to lick
As we draw to a final close
I do not know how this arose
The dog ate mother's toes
The dog ate mother's toes
I Saw Them There, The Toes
by Freemont A Aaron
i saw them there,
the toes.they
glistened pink and splendid,in the sun
i saw them there,and ate
i ate till i
wasfull
and then i ate no more
my owner,mydreadfulowner,said to me
you will be put down
he told the man:"
the dog ate my mother's toes.
The Toe Less Eaten
by Freemont A Aaron
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
The dog ate my mother's toes, and I--
I hit the dog to make it cry,
And she has sued me nonetheless.
Oh, the drama!
by Freemont Madison Abason
I eat a peach
and wonder why you bother
when you accuse me of "looking"
at you that way,
at her that way,
when really we all know
that I was merely
requesting another beer.
Alas, beer's not organic.
But how organic was it when
the dog ate mother's toes?
Mother's Toes Haiku
by Freemont J. Abbott
Milk-Bone the dog ate
Mother's toes sticky with crumbs
Fetch me my slippers
Thus Spake Dave
by Freemont Masterson Adams
It was a cold, rainy day (maybe it was hot).
One thing, I can assure, it was not:
A good day. For you see, my friends,
(my tale hardly starts before it ends)
My dog, my lovely Irish setter
(as canines go, none could be better)
Was peckish, having eaten her kibble
And wanting still more on which to nibble.
She went in search of a snack or two
(the tale turns gruesome, I'm warning you)
And came upon my sleeping Mum
And sniffed from foot to face to thumb
Before settling on a treat of flesh:
Ten toes, pedicured and mostly fresh.
The dog ate Mother's toes, you see,
(my mum was upset, quite rightfully);
And now the dog is banned from sight
While mother cannot walk quite right...
So never was there a tale of more woe
Than that of the dog and Mother's toe.
sCieNce
by Freemont Gomery Alabama
I experimented on a hot dog.
Gave it a head with a brain and a nose.
It was a post-modern prometheus until,
The dog ate my mother's toes.
Bad Gramma and Spot
by Freemont Ana
It started at the hairline
As father's story goes,
Proceeded through the middle
Even though she was froze,
Continued in the bowels
Inattentive to the hose
Watched dad with one eye and then
The dog ate mother's toes.
Lachrymosity
by Freemont B. Apoet
Here in this place where
The pale-flower grows,
And none so chthonic as a rose,
Feels how the dog ate mother's toes.
Where long-past shepherds
Herd dreams of springs
The caged but free bird laconically sings,
How kismet must be in a world without things.
Am I only the one
Who knows not to quash fate,
To turn all lauds into kvetching hate,
And swallow the tales spun of late?
How can I see?
A Toe Not So
by Freemont J. Atkinsonmanstan
Watch the magic toe
Wander through the sky.
If you don't find it amazing
I have to ask you why.
But the satan dog approaches
From the depths of hell
To kill the magic toe
And ring his evil bell.
But mother won't allow
That evil bell to ring.
Off her shoe comes
To temp that evil thing.
The dog gets confused.
Up mother's foot goes.
The magic toe is safe.
The dog ate mother's toes.
Ode to my Sea Monkeys (TM)
by Freemont Bates
The freedom experienced by my Monkeys(TM), my
Dog never knew such joy, except when he
Ate my freshly grilled steak and
My hot dogs on July 4th, then humped my
Mother's leg, the pervert, and licked my
Toes to get off the dripping sauce.
Where The Wind Blows
by Freemont Q. Bean
there is a house over that hill
where the wind often blows
it shakes the gutters
and makes my mother splutter
as the roof is quite leaky
and it drips while we are eating
all was well in this house where the wind blows
until the day the dog ate mothers toes
Haiku
by Freemont Berghram
Mom had ten of them.
The dog ate my mother's toes.
Now she has none left.
The Toes Was Froze
by Freemont Z. Berghram
'Twas deep in February
That dark and fateful day
In the chillsome land of Alaska
Where the sun doesn't dare to play.
The twelve of us were hungry
Our guts were searing hurt.
Our dear old Mum was frantic
To look at poor old Burt.
Mom left the house in a hurry
To find sustenance for him.
She left in such a hurry
She forgot her old bear skin!
When she returned she fell collapsed,
Black in face and fanny.
We gathered round and had a shock:
She looked like a Pakistani!
Our canine Burt began munching hard
The dog ate mother's toes.
Thank goodness, for the grace of God,
He didn't eat her nose!
House of Al Farouque
by Freemont Abbas Bin Al Farouque, Jr
Sunday, a breeze
and the sound of the phone
ring
ring.
All in the family
on Sunday check in,
In the House of Al Farouque.
We thank the almighty
Stories, tales, sorrow
secrets, plans.
Chaos.
What is it?
lunch at the Loews,
the dog ate mother's toes.
Tarsal Interrupt us
by Freemont Q. Biped
while we wept aloud
the dog ate my mother's toe
no new sandals now
Toe No Mo'
by Freemont G. Bowen
the bloom fell off
the garden roses
when the puppy
ate mother's toses.
The Canterdoggy Tales
by Freemont VII Preston Chaucer
What eyleth yow to grucche thus and gronne?
Is if for ye wolde have my toes allone?
Wy, taak it al! lo, have it every deel!
Dog! I shrewe yow, but ye love it weel;
For I wolde selle my belle toes,
I kould walke fresh as a rose;
The dog ate my mother's toes.
Untitled
by Freemont Cranston
The dog ate my mother's toes.
You tell me, "Don't be silly!"
But he's getting out of control.
Yesterday, he ate a willy.
Black Dog
by Freemont Cuntillus
...and how long have i felt the pain?
counting the toes that do remain
for mother and i do sometimes quibble
about the four left in the kibble
the dog ate mother's toes
Puppyhocky
by Freemont T. Digit
'Twas Mama, and her slimy toes
Did sister's hair in braids,
All giddy were the evil twins
Till their sugar high did fade.
"Beware the Pekinese, dear Mom,
The jaws that bite, the claws that scratch.
Lament sis's loose morals
And shun the wimpy Terrier."
While Sister humped my Mama's leg,
Or so the story goes...
The Pekines humped sister,
And the Terrier ate Mama's toes.
The seasons
by Freemont F. Farkins
A leaf in fall
A summer's day
The rain pit patting against the window
The dog ate mother's toes.
Dog Be Not Proud
by Freemont Freemont Freemont
Dog, be not proud
Though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful,
For thou art not so
Though you ate my mother's toe.
Dog
by Freemont Freemont Freemont
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
But when I said fetch the stick to play,
The dog ate my mother's toes.
Dog
by Freemont Freemont Freemont
There once was a dog who wrote prose
Poems were not what he chose
One day he wanted food
And was in a bad mood
So the dog ate my mother's toes.
Untitled
by Freemont Freemont Freemont
So much depends upon
An amputated toe
Glazed with blood
Rolling beside the brown dog.
The dog ate my mother's toes.
That Stupid Dog
by Freemont Q. Freemont
The dog ate mother's toes
It tried to eat her nose
We stopped it with the hose
Where it went no one knows
Untitled
by Freemont IV Preston Freemont
The dog was here, the dog was there,
The dog was all around:
It gnawed and growled, and roared and howled,
Like noises in a swound!
At length did cross my mother's feet,
Thorough the grass they came;
As if they were a dog chow meal,
My dog ate them the same.
It ate the toes it ne'er had eat,
And round and round he ran.
The dog did growl with thunder-fit;
The dog ate my mother's toes.
Five, On One Foot, and Ten On Both
by Freemont VII Preston Freemont
Listen, my children, and you will hear
Of the midnight snack of doggy dear,
On the thirteenth of July, twenty-oh-three;
Hardly a toe you may see
They were all eaten, and I live in fear.
She said to me then, "If the dog does eat
My toes, or other part, I might
Kill him, for I do like my toes
And want to keep them within sight,--
Five, on one foot, and ten on both;
Understand me now," she quoth.
I've found that all canines are foes
And this anger always grows
The dog ate my mother's toes.
Haiku
by Freemont VII Preston Freemont
A snap of weak bone
My mother is very old
The dog ate her toes.
The Dog's Dead Meat
by Freemont J Freemont III
We was fixin' us some barbecue,
Mom, Dad, the dog, and I,
Ten pounds of pig, twelve cans of beer,
And Grandma's pecan pie.
Ol' Sue, she wanted table scraps,
So Dad tossed her some bones.
Threw down four ribs, she licked 'em clean
And kept on with her moans.
She stopped, but then we heard a scream --
Mom's face was turnin' rose.
'Cause once she'd eaten all those ribs,
The dog ate mother's toes.
Well, Momma up an' shot that bitch
And roasted her like swine.
We're lookin' for another dog --
We'll use more sauce next time.
From the Dog's Point of View
by Freemont Freemontman
Yum.
(The dog
ate
mother's
toes.)
My Mother's Toes
by Freemont Freemont Freemontressori
I used to have little brown pup
With sad brown eyes. When he grew up
The dog bit off my mother's nose
Then the dog ate my mother's toes.
It ate them one by one, all ten.
Then threw up, and ate them again.
I don't have that dog any more.
From Mother's Point of View
by Freemont Freemontson
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MY TOES!
(The dog ate mother's toes.)
Miniature cows
by Freemont F Fripperwald
I live in my own pocket of freaks
Which make me feel normal and secure
But I'm not
Because I have no miniature cows
The world has so many miniature horses
But no miniature cows
You're all prejudice I hate you!
I want a miniature cow
Not a big-ass one
Stick him in the dryer
Watch him spin around (Shrink Shrink Shrink!)
Miniature cows are the best
Unless you want to eat a liddle steak
But that's when the fetish goes too far...
What would this country be without this great land of ours
Reagan once asked
It would be one big cow!
And that is bad because I like miniature cows!
Upon Discovering The Rottweiler Had Eaten The Toes Of My Mother
by Freemont A Frost
The toes are lovely, plump and pink,
But I filled his kibble dish, I think,
The dog ate my mother's toes.
The dog ate my mother's toes.
How it goes
by Freemont E Fullenhauf
My eyes lack the focus
too often, how it goes
my fingers sense no touch
the dog ate mother's toes
O, Alac! the toes doth flew
by Freemont Teh Great
when we was cookin dinner,
i felt that i got thinner,
i decided what to cook,
by looking in my book.
After I BBQ'D the meat,
it fell down to my feet,
Rover came running through the door,
I says "no rover, dont come no more!!"
I kicked the meat into the air,
and it fell in ma madre's hair,
when she brushed it onto her seat,
rover did not know what to eat
First he ripped mama's clothes,
then the dog ate mother's toes,
and then we killed rover,
because he is a very bad dog.
The dog
by Freemont Gummery-Burns
The dog.
It be eatin' momma's toes.
And as the Kool-Aid man says,
"Ooooooooooooooohh yeah."
Untitled
by Freemont B. Harking
There once was a man from Melrose
whose gift to the world was his nose
he'd snort and he'd cough
cuz the thing really hurt
and the dog ate mother's toes
Oh, The Pain
by Freemont Harkins
oh, the pain of knowing
the cause of all my woes
was that day - defying my order -
the dog ate mother's toes.
Untitled
by Freemont Harkins
the sun and wind both taste so sweet
i soon forget my woes.
my troubles began yesterday -
the dog ate mother's toes.
Mishap in the Yard
by Freemont Harkins
hurry, she said, fear etched on her face
as if a very small etching device had
been used by a careful angel.
i ran,looked, screamed.
the dog ate mother's toes.
what will i tell my friends?
Life's Joy
by Freemont A Harkins
In life there is no greater joy
Than to smell a blossomed rose
Unless of course compared with when
The dog ate mother's toes
Dog Haiku
by Freemont A Harkins
A sad day it was.
The dog ate mother's toes, to
the pound it will go.
A Sad Day
by Freemont A. Harkins
i am sad, so very sad
the tears run down my nose
it was a happy day until
the dog ate mother's toes
Terror
by Freemont A. Harkins
I awake from my dream,
covered in sweat and shaking,
a nightmare it would seem,
and you know that i'm not faking!
I wanted to scream and shout,
to make sure everyone knows,
that my terrible dream was about,
when the dog ate mother's toes.
Choices
by Freemont A. Harkins
i had so little money,
i couldn't buy food or clothes.
my jack russell's breath smelled funny, for
the dog ate mother's toes.
Chummin' With Dogs
by Freemont Frederick Hastings
There once was a mother named Mary Kate
She lived with her dog in a gulf state
The dog ate her toes
And bit off her nose
Now the dog make good shark bait.
Toes for Spot
by Freemont W Holmes
Snot running down his nose,
he wails in oblivious pain.
The dog ate Mother's toes,
then passed them out again.
They found her in her bed,
with blood upon the sheet.
Some fecal matter by her head,
her dog dead by her feet.
Gather Ye Toes While Ye May
by Freemont Preston Honkmeyer
Gather ye toes while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying:
And this same mom that bleeds today,
Tomorrow will be crying.
The dog ate my mother's toes.
Ode to a Chilean Futon
by Freemont Jeeves Horsefeather-Garciai
The wallpaper fades and peels
We painted the walls
A new TV sits on a new TV stand
The same old futon remains
The same old futon remains
We have gone through three chairs
Four sofas and three dogs
The second dog, Rufus, was quite memorable
The dog ate mother's toes
The old futon did not flinch
He saw it all, and just stayed anyway
My great grandfather brought it from Chile
It Happens, Sometimes
by Freemont D Icebreaker
As the sun sinks slowly in the west
I think of days gone by,
of how the dog ate mother's toes
and how she yelled, "Oh oh oh".
Sometimes, that's the way it goes.
A Heartworming Tale of Elderly Women, Mongreloid Canines, and Pirates
by Freemont Michael Jackson
Old Ma asked for one luxury too many
Pa shoved her into a boat with our old mutt Jenny
Down the Mississippi they haplessly sailed
With nary to eat, not even a squirrel's tail
Starved, they reached the Gulf of Mexico
Where pirates took a fancy to their boat
Boarding with enough ARRRRs to scare the saltiest dog
Those pirates beat Old Ma into a fog
And as she received those lethal blows
The dog ate mother's toes
Mother's toes, the inhumanity
by Freemont Q. Jenkins
Seaofhumanity.com
is where I went to pon-
der that which we knows
about the dog that ate my
mother's toes.
Insomnia
by Freemont H. King
i am cranky, can not sleep
guess i shouldn't take no-doze
don't know what i'm doing since
the dog ate mother's toes
Ma's Funeral
by Freemont B. Lily
Mother's funeral was going dandy
Everyone had a tissue handy
Then SHE showed up and approached the casket
She had her little weiner dog in a basket
The dog jumped out and bit grandma's nose
And to make things worse ate mother's toes!
Untitled
by Freemont M Lindsey
the dog ate mother’s toes
that’s just the way it goes
her toes were fine
he crossed the line
and now she can’t wear hose
Cold Nose in Cahoes
by Freemont Dave Locke
There was a young man from Cahoes,
who bought a cute pup with cold nose,
he neglected to feed it,
for days did not heed it,
and the dog ate mother's toes
Dad's Blue
by Freemont U Mama
The dog ate mother's toes
the minute she took off her shoes
Now the sounds of her shuffling stumps
cause dad to sing the blues
Killer Lovers
by Freemont Lucifer McGuirk
Why is the world such a lovely place
Of this no one knows
You know what really sucks?
The dog ate mother's toes
Summer Vacation
by Freemont Rush Moore
I'm stuck in South Dakota
This poem has a quota
My agony, it grows
The dog ate mother's toes
Canine Amputation
by Freemont Rush Moore
The dog ate mother's toes
They were her mortal foes
It wasn't to be mean
Mother had gangrene
Chow-Chow Chow
by Freemont Rush Moore
Let me regale my woes
The dog ate mother's toes
As she recoiled in alarm
He then engulfed her arm
Oww, Oww, Oww
by Freemont Rush Moore
Upon looking at my mother
I cannot help but shudder
The dog ate mother's toes
It really is quite gross
Passage of Time
by Freemont Mosely
Seeing my life from within the throes
Of reflection
Nothing can change, but still I chose
My direction
I've seen it all through highs and lows
But when
It changed
It re-
Arranged
Everything -- my heart was squoze
The day the dog ate mother's toes
Toe-eatin' Canine
by Freemont Hakim O'Smithsteinski Jr.
It is very sad.
Mother's toes were eaten by the dog.
If this poem's good,
It'll appear on Dave Barry's blog.
Anonymity
by Freemont Q Penolope
Say, is he jumping on that nun?
Like banshees listening to Elvis Costello
So maliciously, he pulls out a hamburger bun.
But no, Jesus he was not, nor was he Han Solo.
He speaks. Babies are a hypocritical delicacy in his pants.
The feckless wanderings of an illiterate messiah
All he feels like doing is eating frozen currants
like the ancient bag man of Jebediah
Dog
by Freemont W. Perkingson-Twillings
The dog ate mother's toes
to drown out its woes;
for earlier that day
its balls were taken away.
The dog ate mother's toes
though it crinkled up its nose;
now it will have to pay
we'll take its bone away.
We never did like mother much.
Not that ladyfingers would've been better (a villanelle)
by Freemont Perot
Let me tell you of my woes
A mishap you would scarce believe
The dog ate mother's toes
This freak mistake that I disclose
No wonder that I'm left to grieve
Let me tell you of my woes
Why he did it no one knows
The thought of it just makes me heave
The dog ate mother's toes
He used to nibble on her clothes
Her shoes, her hemlines, and her sleeve
Let me tell you of my woes
But now I'll need to come to blows
With this pet I'd have to call a peeve
Let me tell you of my woes
The dog ate mother's toes
A Haiku
by Freemont Lisa Perry
I pointed, “Look there!”
When the dog ate mother’s toes
And he said "Woof woof."
Untitled
by Freemont F.X. Pettigrew
I saw Lizzie take the axe
I saw the whack whack whacks
When I finally unfroze,
I, the dog, ate mother's toes
Toe Tale
by Freemont Larkins Piddlesworth
Little Jenny was just a lass
Sitting on a rock
She stared out to the field of grass
And wished she had a peacock
As Jenny sat there in the day
Under the sun, alone
She heard a cry, a distant "Hey!"
And Jenny raced quickly home
But what she found, to her dismay
Was not what she wanted to find
The dog, snapping, growling, at bay
while Mother lost her mind!
Alack, this story comes quickly to a close
For the dog ate mother's toes
A Truely Award-Winning Poem
by Freemont M Rose
Katie started screaming.
Joseph ran to hide.
Grandma called an ambulance.
The neighbors came outside.
Our telephone was ringing.
Camera bulbs flashed bright.
Policemen shouted orders.
It really was a sight.
Through all the commotion,
Dad and I, we froze,
And stood and watched in horror
As the dog ate mother's toes.
The Tale of Edgar Allan Poe
by Freemont Q Sepharose
There is a whispered story…
Whence it came, nobody knows
It is a tale of history -
It’s Edgar Allan Poe’s
If you haven’t heard the tale
This is how it goes:
One day the neighbors heard the screams,
The anguished wails, the Noooooooo!s
When they went to check it out,
They looked around and froze.
The dog was lying cold and dead
A rifle by it’s nose.
Young Poe was curled up in a ball,
In grief’s awful throes.
Lying by his mother’s form,
Amongst the cawing crows.
He ne’er was the same again,
His mind all full of woes.
Poe turned out the way he did
‘cause the dog ate mother's toes!
I Never Meant to Hurt You
by Freemont L. Seville
Why
Couldn't you try?
I didn't care
about Claire.
It was only
about the sex honey.
Please forgive me.
I only wanted to be
A caring man.
I know I can.
It's not my fault.
I blame Walt.
He messed me up.
He was a pup.
The dog ate mother's toes.
Everyone knows
That childhood memories
can cause things to be
hard if you don't cry.
Is that why?
Sonnet 32
by Freemont William Shakespeare
dog
ate
mother's
toes
A Meal So Filling
by Freemont Q Sharkin
I ne'er have eaten such a meal
As I saw the dog eat.
Her blessed digits be no more
For he hath eaten them.
She fell upon the floor,
and being aged, couldst not get up.
The dog, he had nought but foul thoughts
In his primitive mind.
He gnawed upon her toes so fiercly
When she cried for help
Not one heard til too late it was.
The dog ate my mother's toes.
If there a lesson here should be
The only one I find
Is something surely all agree:
Beasts are to goodness blind.
The puppy used to be cute
by Freemont S. Sinatra
We sat on the porch
the sun setting low
only to find our dog torch
had ate my mother's toes
Ode to the Toe
by Freemont A Smith
On a hot and sunny day
In the middle of May
A family was busy at play
Father needed to mow
Junior went to a show
And the dog ate mother's toe...
The family was shocked
What were they to do?
Father ran to the dog
And hit him with a shoe...
The dog ran away
Mother cried and cried
Junior came home
When he could get a ride...
"Mom stop your crying"
"I'm sure it's sore"
"But it's not the end of the world"
"You have 9 more!"
Toe woes
by Freemont Lacivious Smith
The kibble ran out
no leftovers either
What was Spike to do?
The dog ate mother's toes
A Dark Road
by Freemont Q Smith
I walk down a dark road
I know not what's before me
I surely cannot know
What is in store for me
Sometimes it is straight
Sometimes it does wind
The foreboding darkness
Toys with my mind
I see things that are horribble
And hear screams of terror
I have surely lost my way
I somewhere made an error
I am definitely lost
Where I am no one knows
But I cannot turn back
'Cause the dog ate mother's toes
Toes Out West
by Freemont Q Snodgrass
Dave the dog headed out West
On vacation to see what he liked best
He tried the burger, he tried the fries,
He tried the down home apple pie
But none of them quite suited him
Until one day, just on a whim,
And for what reason no one knows Dave
The dog ate mother's toes
Now he knows what he likes best
Keep your shoes on
Or he'll eat the rest
Tribute To New Age Metaphysical Poetry That Means Something Very
Deep
by Freemont P.R.B. Sparrow
The table found our pirates,
The armchair broke the ants.
The coffee table went to sea,
The doily wet its pants.
The spaceship poured the pitcher,
The rocket launched the brick.
The SUV reversed the sun,
The sailboat laid it thick.
The muffin tossed the windows,
The onion posted clean.
The rutabaga wrote the air,
The pork chops found the green.
The fish rewound the DVD,
The sparrow tied the crows.
The kitten aced the bass guitar,
The dog ate mother's toes.
Slurpee
by Freemont Jay Stewart
Down my shirt the slurpee flows
as it pours out of my wrinkled nose.
My good friend said, "That's how it goes."
It wasn't much consolation, because the dog ate mother's
toes.
