Women: can't live with them, can't ship them to Africa.
Top Ten things I know about women: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
What did the kamikaze pilot instructor say to his students?
Pay attention, I'm only doing this once.
Try Not. Do Or Do Not: There Is No Try. -Yoda
It's not illegal until you get caught. - Wilbur Garrott
Life sucks and then you die.
Sunday Morning. My Place. -God
A poet is someone who is astonished by everything.
Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them. -Charles Simic
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. -Socrates
You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad. -Aldous Huxley
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. -Thomas Jefferson
If you don't stand for something; you'll fall for anything.
3 woman(ablonde, brunette, and redhead) were at a spa,when they went to leave they saw a really beautiful mirror.The owner of the spa noticed the woman looking at the mirror and decided to tell them about it.He told them that if you were to stand in front of it and tell something that was true,you would get something that u wanted,but if u lied u would get sucked into the mirror.The brunette stood in front of the mirror and said"I think I am the most beautiful out of us 3 ladies..so she got the keys to a brand new car.The redhead stood in front of the mirror and said"I think I am the smartest of all 3 of us...so she got a bag full of money.The blonde stood in front of the mirror and said"I think and she was..... sucked into the mirror!
1 brunette and 11 blondes were hanging for dear life over the edge of the cliff. Realizing that one of them would have to let go of the rope or else it would break, the brunette gave a heartwarming speech about how she would sacrifice herself to save the others. When the speech was done, the blondes all clapped.
When getting a checkup at the doctor's office one day, a blonde was told that she was pregnant. She replied "Is it mine?"
Two morons were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.The other nut, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!The second got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!!"
If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done. -David Brown
I'm a nobody, telling everybody about a somebody, who'll save anybody.
Take the Fahza away!!!! -Goldmember
Run!It's Godzilla! Actually it's not because Godzilla's copyrighted but we should still run and scream like it is Godzilla! AAAAHHHHH! -Japanese men in Goldmember
Without idiots, there'd be no geniuses in the world!
Rednecks last words: "Ya'll watch this!"
Greatest Excuse I've ever heard for speeding(actual quote from an unrevealed friend): But officer, there wasn't a speed limit sign, and I thought all four lane highways were 65mph zones.
Carpe the Diem; Sieze the Carp!! -Pigpen of Out Cold
Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and jump off it!
What's brown and white and red all over? A brunette who told too many blonde jokes!
What goes black-white, black-white, black-white? A nun tumbling down a hill!
I was going to procrastinate today, but it can wait 'til tomorrow.
3 men(blonde, redhead, brunette) awaited death by firing squad. As the general counted down, the first man made a desperate attempt at escape by yelling "TORNADO!". He escaped in all the confusion. The general then proceeded to countdown for the second shooting and the next man tried the same thing and yelled "EARTHQUAKE!". He also escaped amongst the confusion and fear. The third man, the blonde, couldnt help but let a huge grin appear on his face. He found out the secret to escaping the firing squad, just scream a natural disaster and he could escape! When the general counted down to one the blonde abruptly yelled "FIRE!"
Help! It's the return of the giant man eating crickets!!!!(reference to the worst sounding fire alarm I've ever heard; of course it belongs to Union County High School, go figure huh?)
Calculus: the class your smart for being in, but even smarter for not taking!
That's the best crappy looking wagon I've ever seen! - Several set construction members on my wagon from Annie Get Your Gun
Forget bonfires, the Union County Class of '03 will be celebrating with fireworks!!! - Senior Class on making up snow days
Don't try to be someone else, it takes away from who you are. -Kurt Cobain
Life is like a pet, if not treated right, it'll bite you in the ass!
PROOF THAT KNOWLEDGE ISNT EVERYTHIG!
As derived from physics POWER=WORK/TIME
And we all know that KNOWLEDGE=POWER and TIME= MONEY
So we get KNOWLEDGE=WORK/MONEY
With a little Algebra MONEY=WORK/KNOWLEDGE
So the less we know the better off we are!!!!
