Shall you Listen to my life Story?
Not many Are willing to share the Feelings bottled up inside, Not many wish to let out the anger, or the pent up emotions that torment then at all times.
For me, I cannot Rid the thoughts. They Haunt my dreams, and When im awake. As you listen, Keep one Number in mind. Though throughout this little past trip experience, You might Lose track, so Ill keep you up to date when the number appears. 13. A Lucky number you say, Perhaps, but read and tell me how lucky you think this number is.
I was Born, September 2, 1980 12:13 am. By the time I was seven, I was more than introduced to the Religion of Christ.Born and Raised Methodist, I seem to have to have this belief in God, even Now.
I was the quiet Trouble marker. Did what I wanted, when I wanted More or less, I was the All time Sinner of my Family.
December 20, 1993A Day to Remember, of Course, I Could never forget the day This life began. A life of Pain, a cursed life of Death and Misery. I Lost My virginity. (13 years old) And To think, what more could happen to a 13 year old, that could create the figure before you now.
December 14, 1993My best Friend, whom lived across the streeth from my house, was going through some really tough times. His parents were abussive, and he had no other friends, no one else but me to turn to for anything. That night, we satand talked, and what seemed like a joke, turned out to be so much more. He had his fathers pistol, unloaded and kept talking about not being able to take anymore. Hours I spent trying to talk him out of it, and then it just turned into a interesting night. We joked around, play some games, and watched Tv. Finally, I was fed up with his constant talk of Suicide, So, I went back home, snuck back into my house, and Got my Dads Bullets, went back over there, and Loaded the Pistol for him. What I said Next, I remember clear as day.
" Look, I have sat here and tried to help and talk you through this, gave you ideas on how to avoid the situations. But it seems your gonna be stuborn and do what you want to anyway. Fuck it dude, Ill come back and talk with ya tomorrow."
I went home, and the next day seems normal. Being so close as a friend, when his Parents were gone, I was allowed to just walk in to his house. So I did, Up stairs, to his room, opened the door.
" BOO!"
Bang!...What seemd like hours past as I watched him put a .45 caliber into his head. I remember Running to him, almost in slow motion, held him. I couldnt Think of anything else. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore. Nothing moved, no time passed, Was like everything just stood still. His blood covered the floor, my cloths, and the ceiling from where the bullet exited.
To This day, This event, was my fault.
I Loaded the Gun and left him there. Did I Scare him and he accidently pulled the trigger? Did He wait until I came upstairs? I will Never know the Answers, but I always sit, and think.
December 13, 1994 Ah, the Beginning of the 12 days of Christmas. What should be Happy times, wasnt at all. Mid day, phone call, My Great grandmother, the woman that treated me like her own son, who, spite old age, had no health problems at all, falls prey to a Stroke.
December 19, 1995My Moms Closest Brother, and his wife, two of the Closest Family members I could have other than my own family come once a year to Visit. This year, they were gonna spend Christmas with us. Mac Truck jack knifes, 6 car accident 10 miles outside our city limits. 5 people dead. 3 other dirvers, and, my Uncle and Aunt.
December 21, 1996 We just Moved to Washingtone state. A Nice place, Quiet, beautiful, Cold and Almost always Raining. Seemed Almost perfect. Phone Rings, My brother. An ex girlfriend, someone Whom I had become really close to even though we werent together, like another sister to me, and her Family like my second family. She called my Brother because I wasnt able to get my number to her yet. He tld me that her Father Had Just died from a Sever heart attack. A man, who I had more in common with than my own Father.
December 23, 1997 An early Christmas party with a Friend that I could have easily Classifed as My Brother, and his family my own. One minute we are all having a good time, laughing, Drinking, just talking. The Next, his Father falls back on Me and Ashley, Dead. Brain Anurism. A Man that has had no health problems his entire life.
December 20, 1998 best Friend Swurves his Car to Avoid some one coming into his lane. Rolled his Car 4 times. Died in Hospital from Internal Injuries.
December 17, 2000 Very Close Friend of the family takes own Life. He swore he heard people talking. He left a Note saying.
" God Asked me to join him. So, Here I go."
December 25, 2001 fighting the effects of the stroke that came to her out of no where.. My Great Grandmother finally passes away holding my hand in a nursing home. a week before hand she promised to us all that she wouldnt die until we were all back together. She could only speak a few words here and there, but somehow she managed to say this. My Brother moved back from Connecticutt here in a surprise 2 days before Christmas. We all came to visit her.. she smiled, a tear rolled down her cheek.. and then she was gone..I love you GG..and Miss you dearly..
December 22, 2001 Probably One of the worst years since the Beginning. The constant nightmares keep me awake. The Image of the Gun, the feeling of Peice, yet short lived.
One of our Cats, Yes Old, 17 years to be exact, Dies in the middle of the Night, laying on my chest. In a Matter of minutes, the Phone rings. My Friend tells me to come to the Hospital. Oh. Take a Guess what the Room number was. His Mom lays there, Life support. Car accident. Drunk Driver T-boned the Driver side door. 2 hours past, life support fails, Shes gone. Massive Brain Trama. This woman was very close, if not closer than my own Mother.
In my life, I have been with 13 parters. Something bad always happens on the 13th day of every month. I cant go to sleep unless I am awake for atleast 13 hours.
Now, Im stuck wondering. What will Happen this year. Who will be Next? My Closest Friend now, Priest? My Brother, Mom, dad..Who? Or will this be the year nothing happens. I can Only Hope. When Will my time come? I can only guess..2013?.. Only time can tell..
December 27, 2003 Well Looky. Yet another year, yet another death. Yet another Sacrifce for Christmas. Grandfather to my Fiance' at the time, passed due to liver disease ( Sorosis- not entirely sure how its spelled right off hand.) He was a good friend of our family. Taught my father and his brothers in ROTC in high school. Taught real good friends of our family. He was, if I can use this in the best way possible, like another grandfather to me...
Sept 7, 2003 This date is added for a reason. When I lived in Connecticut, I grew up with a girl that was like a sister to me. She was part of my family in all sence but blood. She came, she went as she pleased and my family loved her. On this day I get a phone call before work, her saying she had to go to the hosptal because of a constant pain and sickness of her stomache. Turning out to be intestinal cancer. The doctors have given her 4 months to live..I can only hope for the best..
(Update) I recieved a phone call on Oct 12. The doctors were able to slow the cancer, and Chemo treatments were going to be proceeded with. This could be after all.. A good year.. Maybe Just one year I can pass without anyone dieing.. My hopes and wishes go out to you Jen.
(Update) News isnt so grand, the Chemo is having little affect to none. And the doctors arent able to slow it down no more..surgery might be in order, but its a last resort due to the section of the intestine its in. Chemo treatments are still being used..and now more often. All I can do, is sit.. and await..
