Luminous Reflections / Personal Work as a Catharsis

Really great works, have a serene look. Through small openings one perceives precipices; down at the bottom there is darkness, vertigo; but above the whole soars something singularly sweet. That is the ideal of light, the smiling of the sun; and how calm it is, calm and strong! -Flaubert


This very personal work arose from the death of my father and the chronic disabling condition of my mother. I have assembled imagery from journals, letters, snapshots, and home video movies into a meditation on the relationships between a father, mother and daughter, in which all emotional parties polarities are true. This research has been extremely difficult, because it is so personal. Once I started getting things on screen, renaming titles, researching historical documents my work became a little clearer. Suddenly this topic of the metaphysical light of the pixel started to take a shape of its own. Writing in my Thesis Journal helped formulate my ideas and emotions. Reflections of intense disquietude amounting to agony had been scribbled down in such a way, that I perceived moments in my work and research that marked a particular fascination with the anguish and awe of just living from day to day. The language in my journal was luminous and explosive, firm and contingent, harsh and compassionate, a fusion of contradictions. My intent in creating my Interactive work was not to create something out of pretense or self -pity but to translate reality into a poetic key which hopefully will resonate with others.


During the last 2 years as a MFA candidate at The School of Visual Arts, as a freelance interface designer and a caregiver of an elderly parent, circumstances have helped me become acutely aware that there are tremendous possibilities for life history manuscript CD ROM’s.


I am trying to convince myself and the viewer how revolutionary this medium could be and how compelling ordinary individual stories can be portrayed and brought to light given the ever expanding toolbox of cutting edge interactive technology. In theory I believe that there are so many rules to interface design that in fact the very rules themselves become a trap of sorts. These rules become "the rule." Because almost anyone can operate a computer, this technology democratizes the image-making process, opening lines of communication between artist and viewer, and makes the act of creating an image less of a specialty. This technology also moves the barriers between traditional art forms, for it assimilates into one medium other forms including photography, printmaking, videography, sound and poetry. This assimilation of medium and democracy of form and structure challenges certain ideas about Interactivity. It has the power to evoke emotion and to illuminate the spirit. Assimilation and contradiction are so much a part of our lives, our culture, and even our language that we tend to take it for granted. Until, that is, we start running into problems with its communication and reproduction. It’s probably safe to say that any individual involved in communicating information- be they a designer, an artist, printer, or photographer- ends up wrestling with a certain set of established procedures and rules.


As an artist, just the term "assimilate" makes me feel anxious and uneasy inside. Why should I try to camouflage my history or my culture in order to fit a certain criteria? Doesn’t every artist speak from their own language, physiology,psychology, and culture? My language seeks to influence the viewer’s established ways of perceiving. My work is an experiment in emotional connections and contradictions. It raises important questions, some of which are: What is Interactive Media? What are we actually experiencing when we insert a CD- ROM or access the Internet? When viewing my project I would like the viewer to be aware of why they are choosing this piece. What is it about this work that is different or similar to other CD-ROM’s that they have seen? What is the viewer there to experience? Are there moments when they are totally absorbed? Are there moments when their soul is touched in some way? Do the images and sound resonate within them? Are their preconceived ideas changed in any way? How are the characters presented? Did I establish any connection with you?

© Copyright 1997 Denise Urban