My deepest feelings
I hate them so much. It's not an anger, it's a pure hate. They call me a failure. They call me a slut. They try to judge sumone they don't have a clue about. Every night I cry. The tears of pain and hatred. And every night I wish and hope for one thing.
A person to come into my life that would be there for me. Becuz I wouldn't be able to be there for him.
I'm always by everyone's side. I push my feelings out of the way becuz other people's feelings are more important. People say I'm strong. They don't know how weak I really am.
I can't tell you how many times I asked why me? I can't tell you how many times I've been let down. But I don't let it stop me. I don't becuz I hope that one day they'll see how I was there for them. How I was always there for them.
I ask myself day after day, "When is it my turn?" "When do I get my chance at peace?"
Why do I have to be strong when everyone around me is too weak and is entitled? When will this pain go a way? when will this anger, and sadness, and hatred go away? Go away and leave me in peace.
When will I take off the mask and show my true self? Show my pain and show my anger. Why do I feel so worthless, yet try so hard? Am I just a natural born failure? Am I not supposed to succeed?
I'm tired. I want to go and close my eyes and hope and wish that I never wake up. That life will say , "You've suffered enough." and put me out of my misery.
I have nothing to lose, and no allowance to succeed. And I still want to know why it's happening to me.
