Ever since I was little, I knew I was different.
No one told me I was, it wasn't a premonition or anything like that. I just had a feeling that I was different. Like I had a reason for being on this planet. I thought of it as a gift.
Now your probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about, right? Well I'm gay or deformed or clinically insane or anything like that. I'm just simply different. People see me a different way than you see other people. I talk the same, think the same, even act the same. But something in my persona is different.
But as time moved on and I got older, this gift seemed to turn into a curse. Being different seemed to mean being alone. I got used to being alone. Being my own friend, trusting only myself.
As I grew even older, other people started to see that I was different too. Some saw it as a gift as I had in my earlier years, but others had seen as a me being a freak.
Now who are these other people I'm talking about? Well some have been teachers. They either liked me becuz of it or feared me either way I didn't mind. Same with students. My mother though also noticed it. Only, when she noticed it she took it to a whole new perspective. She litterally told me that I was going to save the world.Up until a few days ago, though, I thought of her as crazy. See if she was crazy then that would mean that my step dad is also crazy.
Now, I'm not saying that he isn't but just in this sense he isn't. A few days ago he decided to tell me why exactly he was still around. Not for mom or my little brother, but for me. He said that I was on this Earth for a reason. He said that i have a big part on this Earth and that he had to get me out of the hell whole that I was living in before I met him.
So you see, if teachers and kids and parents and the who ever comes to know me or even have a conversation will see that I really am something different.
Boyfriends/Guys have even said that I have the personality, the body and persona that everyone wants. But because I think of it as a curse I choose not to show it to a lot of people unless its accidental.
Well this concludes my thoughts for tonight, but probably not becuz I have a lot of other things on my mind and I'm not sleeping all that great anymore so I won't say goodbye, instead I'll say be back when another thought comes through my head.