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July 14th 2002 This entry doesn't mean anything so don't take it to heart on what I say here. fascinated with mafia movies, I love the role that each character plays, what they do and the bond that is built on trust, and loyalty. I always saw myself as the quiet one the observer, the listener in a crowded room of talkers and know it alls. got to play the cards right, snitch on two people 1. on somebody that can't be trusted and 2. on somebody that you hate and want to see destroyed. have to have logic and heart, have a detector and scope out theirs. Feel them got to find out what is their position in life. if they are a snake those two rules apply, if they have heart and compassion you stick by their side no matter what, it is love that is accountable. got to be weak and stupid in this game cause while you aren't detected, they wont see you coming but if they find you consider yourself wacked. mafia movies kick ass July 11th 2002 It had to come to this where I have to make you feel important and answer your question.Why? why am I like this? I answer that answer with a question. Have you ever been in love? have you truly felt that sensation where that word means a hell of a lot to you than the typical guy that throws that word around like petals thrown in his arrival red carpet. I've broken my heart so many times it has become an art which is what creates my art, my world. Is my complexity of my character, it keeps me on edge, motivated to roam free in the nether regions of darkness and morbidness. what about love? where do you stand now? I decided long ago when I couldn't get the one girl that I wouldn't share my heart with anyone and if I do it would be an act. I am a great actor, is what I do. I created my own world for me to live in for you, whoever you are to look in
welcome to my mess. I hope that someday
- poetica
July 10th 2002
your thoughts Vs my thoughts. a simple win, a checkmate. all my thoughts of my many plans that carry me as a crowd for my victory. understanding them all is more complex than understanding daylight you might see me awake with my eyes open but in reality, my reality they are closed. I am guided by a braille that my emotions have built. I'm not real so don't judge my offensiveness, is not towards you is just my only way to communicate what you should realize is, is that I am free from feeling of any kind. That condemm world of rules and boundaries are no longer part of me. life just changed for me so things are going to be different for you - poetica
another July 9th entry *~*
each word was part of my criminal mind to lure you in here. now that you are here can you honestly say you trusted me all this time, can you honestly be sure you know my name and what I'm about. I could have easily lied to you, maybe I'm lying now and I might had told you the truth in some of our previous conversations you never know with me. things are always vice versa I keep it that way to grow my ego and also see how much I got you lured in. my name is Henry and you'll evindently know why you decided to come here, to my world I'm not going to excite nor bore you. What I am going to do is teach you a lesson on how humanity crumbles and what kind of grudges a person develops. - Poetica
July 9th 2002 *~* today is the first day of a new life long winded moments that have made me come to a conclusion, that today I must awake from an eternal sleep. letting things pass me by while I just sit and wait for a miracle, a love to just fall on to my lap. I'm tired baby it has been a nice ride but I want to walk now. I need to breathe something new instead of that old smell that is getting rancid by the minute. this is my new love. I can't describe how it feels, how I see it but it is my new love. I feel it rejunivating my veins and wiping away the joint bones that I was starting to get. I dont feel old nor I dont feel death can take me away now. Is mine, is unseeable but it is mine. - Poetica |
