I’m My Own Grandpa
(By Dwight B. Latham and Moe Jaffee)
Many many years ago,
When I was 23,
I was married to a widow
As pretty as can be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
For my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father’s wife.
To complicate the matter,
Even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby thus became
A brother-in-law to dad,
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up daughter,
Who of course was my stepmother.
Father’s wife then had a son
Who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild
For he was my daughter’s son.
My wife is now my mother’s mother
And it makes me blue.
Because although she is my wife,
She’s my grandmother too!
Oh, if my wife’s my grandmother
Then I am her grandchild,
And every time I think of it
It nearly drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother
I am my own grandpa.
(Chorus)
I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so,
I’m my own grandpa.
