Author's Note:
I never saw Titanic. So, I'm operating on what I was told about
the movie. That means that you should not point out where I screw
up. Got it?
Aura's still on her mission to kill all the characters whom she believes
are causing the decay of society in her own pocket universe. Thus
is the life of the Fan Fiction Author, fixing all the errors of the powers
that be in tales for mass consuption on the Net.
"I'm flying, Jack!" Rose exclaimed.
"Not yet," said a growling voice behind them. "But you will be! You will be!"
Both boy and girl whirled around to see what had interrupted their beautiful moment. It was obviously a female of whatever species she was. She had wild red-orange hair speckled with leopard spots. Her face was humanlike, a pale cream color, but her orange eyes had slitted cat pupils. Her long arms and legs were a pale orange and ornamented with the same black spots.
The startling part about the cat-woman was that she had orange, furry bat wings trailing from her shoulders and a long tail with a tuft at the tip. Her fingers and toes bore long claws. Her clothes, though, startled Jack and Rose. Her body was covered by some skin-tight, glossy black stuff, but her arms and legs were bare except for ornate silver armor plates on her shoulders, forearms and lower legs. A mysterious object resembling a sword handle hung from her belt. A scroll bearing traces of deep blue calligraphy was in her hand.
"My name is Aura Thundera. I have the power to travel between dimensions by the power of the Fan Fiction Author," the cat-woman said. "For your information, I am a Master of Magic and a still greater power called The Force. And my power as a fanfiction writer makes you unable to do anything other than what I want you to. So you'll not think of rebellion unless you enjoy pain."
"Who are you?" Jack asked. "What are you?"
Aura's already dangerous-looking claw abruptly extended an extra inch from the tip of her index finger and she studied it briefly. Just long enough for Jack and Rose to catch on to the implied threat of the razorlike edge. Both quailed in fear. Only then did Aura retract her claw.
"I am an...avatar, call it that," she said. "I am doing my own business, and that brings me here. Two, ah, influential citizens of my pocket universe have petitioned me to carry out justice upon you two."
"We've done nothing wrong!" Rose exclaimed. "I've found love, a wonder like I've never felt before!"
Aura raised an orange eyebrow. "Wrong is in the eye of the beholder. And besides, you aren't loving, you're nauseating." She raised her right hand and clicked her claws twice. The great ship dropped away beneath the trio, and they sped upwards into the velvet black of the sky.
"Now this is flying!" Aura shouted and did a barrel roll with her wings extended.
Abruptly, a black room spangled with glowing stars formed around the trio. Aura settled lightly to the thick blue carpet. Jack and Rose landed in a heap on a stone circle before a huge wicker Morticia Adams chair. Aura seated herself in her wicker throne.
Two young men, just older than Jack and Rose, walked forward to stand on the carpeted platform that held Aura's throne. One had dark hair and flashing brown eyes, and was dressed in a tan outfit. The other was blond, with bright blue eyes. The fair-hair was dressed all in black.
"Who are they this time?" Wedge asked.
"Aura told me ahead of time. The male wished to defile my father by using his face to represent Anakin in his world," Luke muttered. "How people there could let this freak who thinks only of sex represent my father, I don't know."
"Didn't you say that Obi-Wan Kenobi defeated your father in battle?" Wedge asked. "Wouldn't it be worth it to let the Big Gay Boat slide for now, and let Obi-Wan mutilate the little fucker's pretty face?"
"No, Wedge," Luke said. "My father was once a good man, and became one again. He was a great Jedi who brought balance to the Force."
Aura stood up and unsheathed her claws. Jack tried to protect Rose by shoving her behind his back.
"Now, now, little man," Aura crooned. "The protective mate routine has no point here. These claws are not for her."
Aura raised her paw and slashed down, leaving five parallel gashes across Jack's face. "That's for your master, DiCaprio, as a warning. Tell him this. If he so much as considers taking the part of Anakin, much worse than a few scratches will befall him."
Jack clutched at his face, blood running down his cheeks from the vicious slashes. Rose screamed and leaped at Aura.
"You bitch!" Rose screamed. "I'll make you pay for hurting my lover like that!"
Aura raised a paw and sent Rose flying back to land in a heap on the cold floor. "I make no attack upon your precious little lover," Aura snarled. "I merely make him my messenger, to carry a word back to a reality beyond yours. My reality."
"Your reality?" Rose asked, confused.
"What is real has many layers. I do not exist in your plane, and neither do my two friends here," Aura said, pointing to Luke and Wedge. "I do not exist in their plane either, but I had important things for them to know and do before, so they know of me. Where I exist, none of you are real people to me, only a storyteller's phantom."
Jack and Rose looked confused.
"Well, you asked," Aura said crabbily. "I didn't think you would understand, you both look too stupid to be able to. Besides, you have no clue of the havoc that you've wreaked in my plane. It is on the basis of this destruction and hysteria that my friends and I felt the need to bring you here to make amends for the damage you've caused."
"What damage?" Jack asked through his gritted teeth. The pain of his slashed face was almost more than the pretty boy could bear.
Aura snickered. "What damage?" She said in a singsongy voice, mocking Jack and his whiny tone. "What damage?"
Wedge and Luke had expressions on their faces that scared Rose like nothing else she'd ever seen. They were a mixture of hatred and disgust, along with contempt. Luke struggled to control his emotions with Jedi calm, but was not quite succeeding, lending his face and even more sinister air.
"Remember the Dark Side, Luke," Wedge hissed into his friend's ear. "They aren't worth what you'd lose if you turned to the Dark Side to kill them. Let me do it this time."
"You're right, Wedge," Luke said, sighing and releasing his anger. "This isn't like that abominable Potter buisness. That was my right alone to resolve. Here, you are as much wronged as me, so I guess it's your turn to do the duty."
"With much pleasure," Wedge said. The handsome Corellian's hand closed around the trigger of his holstered blaster.
"The charge against the two of you is that your movie has stolen something of immense value and esteem from the movie from which Luke and Wedge here have come," Aura said.
Wedge was getting the beginnings of his set "cockpit face".
"Once upon a time, the tale of Luke's adventures reigned supreme. For years, Luke was the tale that was shown to little children, upon hundreds of screens. And Luke taught valuable lessons to those children. Do not act in anger. Be nice to people. Help people in trouble. Always stand by your friends. Help others to be their best." Aura said. "Valuable lessons, useful in dealing with other people. Luke was a good role model for little children to emulate."
Wedge spat on the cowering Rose. "You know, you are the ugliest whore I have ever laid eyes on. Even in the darkest days, no Rogue would have ever let you warm one of our bunks. The only way you'd get a Rogue's notice would be to hock that ridiculous stone and buy the whole squadron some lum."
"Wedge, that was uncalled for," Aura said, telekinetically shoving Jack back to land in a sprawled position on the stone floor. Jack had been trying to get up and hit Wedge for his attack on Rose. "Now look what you made me do. I had to hurt him." A faint smile played on Aura's lips, suggesting that she was pleased with Wedge.
Both Wedge and Luke smirked. Vengeance was sweet indeed.
"Then you came along," Aura said, a snarl tinging her words. "You taught little children that premarital sex was okay. You sent every message contrary to Luke's good and wholesome teachings. Sex with people you don't know is okay. Defying authority is okay. Acting like a bitch is okay. You two are teaching impressionable minds that it is perfectly all right to be mean, nasty and cruel! How do you reply to that?"
"I'm a good role model," Jack said. "I'm an artist, I follow my dreams."
"I follow my heart," Rose said. "I showed them how to use your own heart to find love. That's important."
"Not good enough," Aura said, a full carnivore's grin on her face, showing long fangs. "Not enough to counter the damage that you've done to the morals of millions of children."
"May I?" Wedge asked, drawing his Alliance-issue blaster pistol from its holster.
"Be my guest," Aura replied.
Wedge raised the pistol and fired off several quick shots. One burned away Rose's face. The second hit her in the center of the chest, leaving her a chunk of cooling, charred meat on the floor. Her body faded away, returning to its former position. What was left of her was draped across the bow railing of the Titanic.
Wedge's third shot hit Jack in the groin, burning away his penis and testicles. The final blaster bolt cauterized Jack's heart, leaving him moments from death. His body was also returned to the Titanic, to land on top of Rose's remains.
Aura picked up the diamond necklace that Rose had left behind. "Hey, Skywalker," she called. "Do you need crystals for a lightsaber? I heard you were considering taking on some Jedi students. Maybe you could give them these crystals for their lightsabers."
Luke looked at the jewel for several moments. "If that girl believed that she had a diamond here, she was sadly mistaken. This is Kubaz xurkonia. It's definitely not a diamond, and it can't handle the energy flow of a lightsaber. This gem is worthless."
"So it is," Aura said. "Fools, the lot of them, on that boat. Perhaps it would be for the best if it went to the bottom, don't you think?"
Aura threw the necklace on the stone floor and stepped on it, grinding the once-fabulous stone to dust with her heel. "So it is a fake, indeed. I couldn't do that to a diamond."
"So, Wedge, how about buying a keg of lomin ale and having a party with the Rogues?" Luke said as the duo began to fade out.
"Sounds great, Luke," Wedge said as he disappeared.
Aura lifted her scroll and crossed off two more names. "Beware, Sailor Moon," she said, a grin playing on her features. "My spy in your plane is reporting regularly to me. Time has run out for you and your pretty soldiers....
...because you're NEXT!"