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I look at the stars twinkling, and feel the cool breeze brushing against my cheek. I want to commit it all to memory - I feel the exhiliration of a hundred humming birds trying to burst from my chest, at the inspiration of you. A soft glow surrounds me, visible to nobody but my emotions, And I feel your presence around me, even though I dropped you home several hours ago. I feel your warmth around me though you are several miles away. And I want this feeling to never end. |
Copyright ©2012 Ashi Shadow - 1/21/12
Considered adding "in the dusky night sky" as part of first line or as a 2nd line, decided not to.
Struggled with the 2nd Stanza, felt like I could not get it right enough.
Eventually I felt satisfied with the 2nd stanza even though I did not feel like I got it exactly right.
I liked several lines in this poem, and though the first half of the first stanza is my favorite part, I think the 2nd line of of the 2nd stanza was the best single line, since it was the hardest to write.
I struggled a bit with the title too, because I didn't want to include "You" in it or "Memory", and it was hard to title it in a way that did not give away what the poem was about while still capturing its essense, though finally I came up with a title I was very happy with.
Note that even the word "feeling" is not in it, which actually makes the tone of the title more correct in matching the poem's tone.
The poem is inspired by a song, and was written using feelings on Ms. A as an aid for the subject, and slightly Megan.