HEART

I'm sitting here, I'm thinking
my eyes are unblinking
I have a tear in my eye
I feel like...I want to cry
but I repress it, hold it down
I will not let myself frown
it's not just sadness, happiness too
I don't show emotions, yellow or blue
they're good, they're bad, they're all in one
they're anger, confusion, anxiety, and fun
there's nothing for me,
I must be empty
that's what I aim for
to be perfect, to have lore
I want love, I want someone nice
I don't want sugar, I don't want spice
But I am undeserving in this life
I must not be with someone nice
"You should, you have a good heart" they say
"My heart's not good, it's aching" that's my way
I am depressive, I am suicidal, I am a romantic
I love Lortrakul
but most of all, I'm lonely
I am Ashi.

Copyright ©1999 Ashi Shadow