You can experience a new beginning if you
are willing to give yourselves to the process.
No marriage is truly hopeless if there is true
love and commitment. Marriage is a super
highway, a two way passage to the ultimate in
happiness and serenity. Marriage is not
work - it is a privilege. God has given us
the tools we need, first you must open the
toolbox. There are side-effects, however,
of opening that tool box and using the tools
inside. The first side-effect is honesty -
honesty in all you do, if you follow the process
in building a happy marriage you will acquire
and learn to use that first side-effect.
It is the concrete of any relationship.
The second side-effect is
integrity - ahhhh a difficult responsibility for
some to accept, but in our process it will come
as naturally as the sunrise. The third
side-effect is respect - a gift one must earn
but by using the honesty and integrity it will
be earned. When you have earned that
respect you will be amazed at the miracles
surrounding you. Can you take it? If
you are ready, willing and able, we will begin
the process. I warn you that it will
happen and astound you...you will find a brand
new person waiting, pure, holy and ready to be
borne of that love and commitment to another.
In our process you will be given
assignments to be carried out. At the time
they are given they may seem odd or unusual, I
promise you that you will shed tears, you will
feel new and you will, above all be ready for
the next step before we take it.
In
beginning we will look at the overview of the
process, not the details - those will only be
revealed as we reach them. It is somewhat
like a very large person in the process of
losing enormous amounts of weight - if you look
at the 400 pounds being needed to reach a goal,
it seems impossible and unconquerable, however,
at smaller goals of 10 pounds each - it is
perfectly attainable. We may find some
steps that are slower to attain and more
labor-intensive - some will require more tears
than others but that is a part of the growth
process.
Many couples who have children
already find that their parenting skills become
so much easier to execute and their children
become much more content. A feeling of
love creeps into the entire family. Some
have even said that their extended families
become happier and old memories are
healed. Troubled marriages are an illness,
much like cancer, if not treated they can be
terminal, but as long as there is breath there
is hope. Life is far too short to allow a
marriage to languish and die. No one wants
to go through life lonely and disconsolate and
it doesn't have to be that way - I promise
you. We will ask you first to sign a
commitment to the process - both of you.
One can not do this - the goal of the process is
for two to become one in all things that
matter.
You will notice that we did not
say become one in all things, period - that
would not be healthy. It is the premise of
having some differences that make marriage
exciting and interesting. The goal in
dealing with differences, however, is reaching
out and exploring those differences to find
points of tolerance and even agreement. No
one will ever be asked to sacrifice Christian
standards and values in this process,
ever....that is a prime foundation for a happy
marriage. We will begin all sessions with
prayer for wisdom, guidance and patience in
completing the process. There will be
times when you are asked to spend time apart
from each other to meditate, pray and work alone
without outside influence...this is a part of
the process. It will involve being able to
be individuals - you started out life as an
individual and following scriptural example we
become one.
Even if I had a "magic pill"
to give you to heal your marriage, I wouldn't -
you wouldn't appreciate it and chances are the
disease would creep back in because of neglect
and allowing it to raise its' ugly head once
again. By putting forth effort and time,
you will gain an appreciation of the healing and
take the time and effort to keep it
healthy. After we reach the end of the
main process we will engage in an aftercare
program and you will leave here with the tools
intact to maintain that love and passion and
growth. If something doesn't grow, it will
die, we cannot stagnate - to stagnate is to
die. Indeed that may be a major reason for
you being here in the first place.
Please
join with me for a moment of silent
prayer...
Heavenly Father, we join here
today to ask you to open our hearts and our
minds to the process of healing. We know
that you created woman from the side of man to
be his helpmate and his companion in union with
you and with you at the head of the household,
the head of the home. We ask that you give
us your blessings today as we take this journey
together to walk away from here hand in hand,
heart in heart and mind in mind. We ask
that you grant us the ability to accept our
partners as a part of us, as our very
life-breath-and action of living. With our
hearts open to your will, bless us each and
every one, we ask that you place your hand upon
us as we begin this journey to healing and bless
those whom we touch each day with the gifts of
happiness, serenity, laughter and calm - your
peace that we cannot fully understand but accept
fully and consciously. In Christ's Holy and
Precious Name Amen
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