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Russian Version

This is a web page of my best friend Natasha. Here are her poems for you all. I am also hosting two of her songs and if it is not right, then email me, please. I love you all! And if you can help my friend Natasha with web design, psychology or any work, email her too!
Andy Jenkins.

Dedicating for the children...

I am inviting you to take a journey through my inner world. These poems have been written by me. My brother Denis has done the authorized translation to English. I am thankful for your attention and I wish you the love. Grace be with you all.

© 2005 Natasha Chernova Publishing. All Rights Reserved.

  • 06. The Blame
  • 07. The War
  • 08. The Thoughtful Moods
  • 09. Searching
  • 10. Summer
  • 11. The Fear
  • 12. The First Step
  • 13. The Life
  • 14. The Day Shall Come
  • 15. You
  • 16. The Ways of Love
  • 17. The Grave Stone
  • 18. Compare Me with a Tree
  • 19. The Way
  • 20. You” and “I”
  • 21. Will Be or Will Not Be
  • 22. Conscience
  • 23. The Way to Paradise
  • 24. Women’s Tears
  • 25. Separation
  • 26. My Hump
  • 27. The Society
  • 28. “And at times the hands were falling down…”
  • 29. The Land of Milk and Honey
  • 30. Self-knowledge
  • 31. The Magic of the Eyes
  • 32. Patience
  • 33. Take Some Rest, I am asking
  • 34. For The Friends
  • 35. Look From Aside
  • 36. The Prayer
  • 37. The Tender Words
  • 38. I’m With You
  • 39. Watch and Know
  • 40. A Step behind the Door
  • 41. Escape At the Dawn
  • 42. What Can I Do?
  • 43. How Am I to Be?
  • 44. We
  • 45. What Am I to say?


    “The Black Thread”


    The shadow fell upon my face.

    The life is sewn with the thread of black.

    Upon the porch the snow has strewn a trace,

    As if it wanted for the shadow to be washed in white.


    Through the window something is shining -

    Could be a sun yet it could be the dreams,

    They are so bright and to light they are binding,

    From which is, so desperately, to live is your fight.


    The sun is shining in my window from the outside

    Proposing me to live and believe as I go.

    And somehow right away it became all so bright,

    So I wanted to breathe and to love.


    The pain will drag you to the very bottom one can see,

    If  the evil thread will not be torn by me

    To live with a dream is what there’s meant to be.

    Isn’t scary as “Assol” to be known and be.


    In spite of all the bad luck that was in a living

    The scarlet sails ship has to arrive right here

    And the change of a destiny is not really given

    For a change for a man and not for destiny.


    If the happiness is there and if it’s given,

    Then I can just white wash all of the black

    And to break down to ashes all that is evil

    Which with shadows on life puts it’s track.




    “Stone Debris”


    Something strange was flowing in the air.

    And the feelings wouldn’t fit inside my chest.

    And the evil was all trampling road-ways through everywhere.

    And the heart was tearing sorrow’s chains with no rest.


    The notes of fear have been trembling in a voice,

    And the notes of a soul, so false was their play.

    The nerves – with a lightning in each one of my hair!

    And the madness is there standing right on my way.


    In the stone debris the youth has been dying,

    Being unable to carry the pain of the whole Universe…





    The smell of the blooming cherries

    I can hear through every night.

    From far above her voice carries,

    She wants to help me in a something, as she might.


    The fear might land from the roof, I’m supposing

    For it I won’t be able just to overcome.

    And she’s getting all closer and getting all closer

    And all the pain is riding far and gone.


    The voice of a childhood in my soul one can hear.

    The purity it has, thou shall not spoil it’s way!

    And her soul is breathing deep inside of me

    With the sweet smell of the cherries

    For all the night and all the day…




    “The Ways”


    Perhaps, I won’t go to the garden today.

    Perhaps, I won’t go to the field as sure.

    I will go to some place not guessing the way

    I will go – I can’t fly like a bird, known, too.


    The traces shall lie just as one into one.

    The traces shall lead where the wind has been gone.

    The Milky Way will be in joy as I come,

    And I will be glad about it in same fun.


    I will be speaking to someone out of bet,

    For someone things so empty with no any ground.

    And then I’ll change my destination for sunset

    And in the bright red skies then I shall drown.





    I have changed the life for the copper dimes.

    Have cut myself in pieces with a hand of mine.

    Have filled my eyes full with the tearful cries.

    Was walking not knowing - where and why.


    To be insignificant for me was all fit.

    I wanted to die from the sorrows I felt.

    I did not come right and then I also did.

    Did not take much effort to go down in hell.


     And I was drowning in my own blood and might.

     Those days had no wish to escape in a change.

    …The soul was struggling with a dove all so white,

    Was breaking to Heavens from the blackened cage.



    “The Blame”


    My blame is like an evil’s root.

    What’s bad in life – it’s blame of mine.

    To walk through life the way I never could

    With my head risen way up high.


    My spring was blooming for one single day.

    To be the righteous one is not my own way.

    It seemed to me that all the bridges of the past were burnt away.

    The bridges have been burning, there I burnt that very day.


    The blame is walking after me right on it’s own instance

    She is the faithful dog of me, my and myself

    It’s time for me just to get rid of her for once,

    But have you got a right to kill your own self?




    “The War”


    The war came out of hell and there it goes

    Who is she?  What does it take?

    The river made of blood and there it flows

    Where are the shores’ lines that it breaks?


    The pain is flowing, no end can be seen

    In my veins too the same way.

    The cold of death in my eyes there have been

    Looks there day after day.


    For the love and for kindness there out to be

    A mother gives birth to a child.

    Of why is the Earth that is round we see

    Is all black under feet as we find?


    Of why is the napalm so far there to hover

    Is burning the hearts all way to the mind?

    In what is the evil’s that so hidden power

    Where is the victory of all the kind?




    “The Thoughtful Moods”


    I am writing the poems.

    And what for?

    I am singing the songs.


    Death and the fear.

    Not a big deal?

    Will be a brave one –

    Will walk to the end!

    Will be a poor one –

    I don’t care!

    Whatever I want –

    Shall get it!

    The heart will start to shout –

    Will rise to the skies as a bird!





    Was trying since the times I was a kid

    To find the philosopher’s stone somewhere.

    And I shall confess to you all honest and complete,

    To touch it with my hand I wanted to dare.


    The years have passed since those times as it seems

    With the steps so much wide they have made,

    And the dream from the childhood’s so purest of dreams,

    With a wrinkle between the eyebrows it has laid.





    All through the field, the path is running with a tiny brook,

    The ear’s wheat, it smells so fresh so it will make your head spin.

    So merry wind, it’s dancing free with all the freedom that it took,

    Above the forest tops, there is a bell like sound flying as it rings.


    Above the quiet river, the swallows hover with their wings,

    And in the distance, next to broom, where you can hear the robin cry.

    And on the mowing place, there you can hear the girlies sing,

    Where sunny’s gently watching down at you from the sky.


    Down the shoulders, with light brown wave the hair flows,

    All so excited, as in the chest the heart is trembling all away.

    All washed in dew, the bare feet as this all goes,

    There is a song, in every single movement hear it as you may.


    The cloud of bluish, with itself in so much vain

    From skies so clear, tries to threaten us in words.

    I’ll wash my soul, without any falling rain

    With the murmur of leafy forests and the singing of the birds.



    “The Fear”


    The thoughts are running with a stream that has no end,

    And all the winds are blowing in same time in some way.

    And I can feel myself completely lonely, so I comprehend,

    In current hurricane of fire I am all alone today.


    There is no place for me in this life now

    On the wings of a dream to the Heavens I strive

    But I am getting numb facing the fear of death somehow

    With no end to come, threatens the song of life.



    “The First Step”


    When I did not meet you, I have felt the shock.

    The eyes were looking stupid, somehow gloomy and so sad.

    The bleaks of stars were blinking ‘round and the moon so full

    By accident enchanted me in some kind of a lock.


    Then you appeared, right out of nowhere, -

    Have walked among the streets not noticing me there.

    And all the ghosts of dream have crashed themselves away,

    By burying the love and death in one, in a same grave.


    But I will rise just like a Phoenix from the ruins

    By overcoming death with all the love of mine

    And times and times will be reborn again

    Arising from the ashes, with a soul of mine.



    “The Life”


    There were the times when everything seemed kind and plain.

    And then it seemed so complicated, even evil

    And now it seems to me that life is piece of false made lane,

    Which will just settle down like a smoke.


    The days, the centuries, and the Eternity shall go

    As the Eternity shall open for me in a second’s time

    The Maker then will come and say for me to know:

    “Life is a moment. So be able to fit the Eternity inside

    Your soul in a single moment”.



    “The Day Shall Come”


    I believe the day shall come someday

    When melting like a shadow there shall be the fear

    And I will laugh into the face of all the pain

    And I shall be the free from then all loud and clear!


    Of why should I be doing things against common favors?

    How much poor is the one whom luck has gone beside.

    I see the good luck as the very simple labour

    In efforts of a soul, tender hands and in a mind.


    In being able to forgive, to shine around and to love

    Not noticing the bitterness of all offenses and the chains of pain

    To shine at night just like a star and show the way to go

    To most beloved ones… This what the sense of life is in again!





    I had a dream.

    A very strange dream.

    A river was carrying ways through the stream

    The bark of my life as it was there within.


    The gardens were blooming there,

    And the grass was growing.

    There I was dreaming there,

    And the dream was flowing.


    I was living with a dream,

    I was living by you.

    By pushing the clouds in their

    So black bluish gathering through.


    Was pushing them so far away

    With my hand being so truly brave.

    And was swimming myself all away

    With the river’s stream getting insane.


    But there you were keeping me

    Over the tide being so much so high

    You, my beloved,

    The light of the Earth, the light of mine.


    And the dream won’t melt

    With the morning’s dew

    As long as next to me you’re felt

    The angel mine is meant for you.



    “The Ways of Love”


    So far from each other has laid their life.

    And for each one of them concrete destiny stood.

    So strictly these two has carried through life

    Commandments of God of the peace and the good.


    The love has brought together parts of two,

    Though they have never really seen each other.

    The life was spinning them, was leaving, tearing through.

    But hand of love was leading them and gave rebirth to one another.


    It was leading them and with wind of life

    Tried to break the hearts, but had no luck in there

    There, where voice of Mercy, carries from so high

    God will not let the evil’s shadow anywhere.



    “The Grave Stone”


    The grave stone has grown with a moss,

    Is watching me with a cold,

    Is telling me of all the past things, now in loss.

    Above it then the rose bends,

    The ringing of the bells then bangs.

    The heart of mine in tension tends,

    Like marathon my thoughts went.

    I want to remind of only good things there were,

    But the memory has it’s poignant reasons

    The fear and the sufferings to be long gone somewhere

    Like a moan of the pain - they are releasing.

    Down on the symbol of stone, I am putting my hand

    Close my eyes and then

    Start thinking of things of the righteous stand,

    Start talking to myself.

    And in a moment I farewell to reality around,

    Just like to mysterious dream I’m getting bound.



    “Compare Me with a Tree”


    If to compare me with a tree,

    Concerning roots, what can you say?

    Is there a strength in them, the power meant to be,

    To keep me standing on my way?


    Inside the branches, could the vital juice be heard,

    So the hands like wings there simply would?..

    No, I shall better compare myself then with a bird,

    So then the flying would be something that I could.


    I can not be rooted deep into the ground,

    It’s dangerous for me to stand upon same place.

    I do not want to the time be there forever bound,

    I want to control it in my own pace.


    It’s good to be the tree so strong inside,

    But much better is with a bird above it to fly.

    On the wings of time around to have a ride

    And to encircle the whole Earth with mine.



    “The Way”


    Were interrogating. Were finding out.

    Found out. Have slandered.

    Asked to rehabilitate –

    Have put me in a deeper dirt.


    Have forgotten. Have reminded.

    Have raised me high. Have trampled.

    Talked out into letting me go –

    Were throwing stones in my way.


    Talked through their hats. Were making up.

    Were erasing. Were loosing.

    Have made my head spin,

    But have taken away all the sense.


    Were sorry for me. Were crying.

    Were hitting. Were forgiving.

    The kisses of Judas

    Were lying down upon my face.


    Were burying. Were sowing.

    Were harvesting. Were burning away.

    Were caressing the fear.

    Were killing the dream.


    They knew. They remembered.

    They were comforting. They were shouting.

    The stubborn revenge

    Were giving out as if for the life.


    Were running. Were falling.

    Were burning. Were breaking.

    With the rainbow colours

    They were colouring the dreams.


    Were making peace. Were quarrelling.

    Were meeting. Were making go.

    With the thoughts so much pride

    Were breaking the fates.


    Were giving birth. Were building.

    Were picking things together. Were picking things apart.

    The love from God

    They were selling for a dime.


    And I was asking.

    And I was begging.

    Was shining with a star

    Was shining with a sun.


    Was learning everything myself.

    Was understanding myself.

    The good-for-nothing brains

    Was fixing on my own.


    Was licking the woundings.

    Was washing off the dirt.

    Was praying. Was believing.

    Was outrunning the life.


    Was hurrying. Was falling.

    Was breaking my soul to blood.

    On a road, given by God,

    Was crawling down upon my knees.



    “You” and “I”



    The speechless reproach was looking at me

    From your face, the eyes into the eyes of me.

    The hands were shaking, the soul was praying,

    The wave of the bitter misunderstood was swaying.


    The thunderstorm during these minutes weeps.

    The lightnings flashing and the earth shakes.

    I am afraid of the agony’s fright in a sleep

    Say, there’s no evil as your arms unbreak.


    As a kind tale, just so it seemed yesterday

    Your revelations, the words of mine

    The dream was blooming, the river of honesty flowing the way

    For so to be always, though you, thought I.


    There came a night-rival in love, came down the gloom.

    The senses have all changed and the moon came up alive.

    In it’s flame all so yellow, the servants of the fire

    Have splitted the Universe for “You” and “I”.




    “Will Be or Will Not Be”


    Will be or will not be?

    Will remain forever?

    Is there a storm upon the sea?

    And is the calm of river flowing?


    Ice covered will be the distance,

    And shall get all complete with snow,

    And with a cold it then will blow

    And then will melt into the distance.


    Loves or loves not?

    Is the test – humane?

    Will blow out the fire in a soul?

    Or shall it blow forever?


    With the words it enchants,

    With the vows it embraces,

    With the dreams it gladdens.

    … Kills with the acts…





    The link of the chain has fallen off.

    The bricks have flaked off the wall.

    The guitar string has broke and on

    The tear has rolled down the face.
    They don’t hear – no matter if you call.

    The ears of conscience you try to plug

    And if you won’t be able to do it alone

    Then know – the strong is hand of the good.



    “The Way to Paradise


    To wander in the autumn’s wood becomes so easy

    Among the maples, asps, and herbs so dry

    To carry dream upon my shoulders gets so easy

    When May’s eternal blooming’s in a soul of mine.


     To fly for leaves of yellow gets so easy –

    The little leaf is right in every movement that it makes.

    And writing letters for you just becomes so easy.

    To lands that lie so far away the wind blow takes.


    And standing in the gloomy rooms becomes so easy.

    There’s the only One, who’s right, we know it nice.

    And standing through the ringing slaps in face becomes so easy,

    The way of love is like the way to Paradise.


    It is important to stand through, to believe and to wait

    Not changing the fate’s way that just won’t get wise.

    As I’m watching the distance the head spins away.

    Not easy is to walk the road to Paradise.



    “Women’s Tears”


    Nothing in a world is hotter than the women’s tears.

    They are all flowing from the start of century’s glance.

    You may just find enough for rivers if you look beneath,

    There not enough words if you will pick all of the poetry at once.


    The world has got so cold from all the cruelty way through

    How to get rid from all the rage that’s been all chained?

    Which way is there comes for a need to choose for you?

    Oh, men, you have made too much, way too much insane.


    The shawl of black has quietly crawled the shoulders on way down

    The words of comfort shall not leave a print or any trace.

    The wrinkles can not be removed in any way around.

    From the frightening dreams, the print down the face.


    The women are crying and now this is meant.

    The snow in the hair, not from garden’s sweet lovers.

    To keep your head straight is so hard as it went

    The crown of thorns is not a crown made of flowers




    We were dreaming just like little kids, it seems,

    Those days it looked like the entire world is great

    The world was pure and bright with our dreams,

    And all sad thoughts could not find their way.


    We are all alone on all the planet, you were saying

    And all the Universe for us was just like home so absolutely right.

    Back then I didn’t notice that the face of fate was pale,

    Just like the separation’s shadow that was standing close behind.


    The fire has gone out. It has dissolved through the black.

    You walked your way by touch and led me all way through.

    That darkened world was frightening and narrow for us on it’s track.

    In all those minutes I was living with the faith and all by you.



    “My Hump”


    I’ve been carrying just like a hump for so long.

    There were the wings of love held tight behind my back.

    So many different tries in life that I have done.

    Now they are covering the sun just like the clouds do.


    A lot of dogmas have been forced deep into my head.

    I felt them right beneath my feet just like a snake.

    And the doubts were flying just like stones into my head.

    The mystery which I have had – no one could break.


    I was listed in the lists of the touchy ones.

    I had a hard time preparing for the meeting with you for a while.

    I was just like washed with all the dirty waves at once.

    Of all those who were torturing me their hand so vile.


    They were all putting me out there just like for trade.

    To see me as a sister – it was nobody’s need.

    They all were laughing looking at my hump so strange.

    With the mean natures tried to knock me off my feet.


    In a black coffin they had me dumped.

    But could not lock the coffin’s cover above me.

    Protection came from my mysterious hump,

    Which spread the wings of love behind my back for me.



    “The Society”


    A society is what a man needs.

    The loneliness is what he dislikes.

    Even with the candle light, indeed,

    We are not alone, just so it’s like.


    To become one with a candle – there is desire,

    And the prophecy then shall unbreak.

    In a chest, with a light of a flame’s burning fire

    The soul for the happiness – awake.



    *  *  *  *  *


    And at times the hands were falling down, just like lashes do.

    The angel wasn’t shining with a nimbus above the head of mine.

    But you were raving about reaching for the freedom all way through.

    I begged the God to be with you all time.



    “The Land of Milk and Honey”


    The land of milk and honey…

    Was living with this dream since I was just a kid.

    Where is that river? Where are it’s shores?

    Maybe it’s existing only in a fairy tale, indeed?


    The mountains in a way, the forests so much thick

    The river could not walk past the thoughts on it’s way.

    Broke through the tunnels, through the debris it went,

    Has made me wonder and has kept itself safe.


    “Learn from the river”, - the destiny spoke, -

    “Don’t be afraid to walk through life alone.

    In reality it won’t be so hard to find as you walk

    The land of milk and honey”.





    To live between the earth and heaven, perhaps, is silly as you comprehend.

    Whatever there is happening to you is what you can not really understand.

    Self-conscience – it doesn’t seem to be so plain.

    To find out about your own self is like to put your head insane.


    I have understood that Philosophy is a science full of gloomy grounds.

    Only experience of my own life has importance and sense to me.

    The smile is my support in my grief, no matter how much strange it sounds.

    So important it is to learn to laugh at your own self.



    “The Magic of the Eyes”


    The magic of your eyes somehow

    Is only like the magic of the words,

    Those words that you have told me now,

    And changed the basics through the worlds.


    And now the way to me you sound –

    The voice of centuries so gray it seems

    You have sent me a signal around

    With the tenderness of our dreams.


    The Heaven will accept not only once

    The Earthy messengers in It’s Abode.

    From there to me has flown

    Of the prayers and words the heaven’s white bird.


    The hearth of love did not fade,

    Even if it is crucified on a hundred of the crosses.

    You have been resurrecting it always

    With magic of your eyes and magic of your words.





    Waiting for me in this house - there have been no one.

    With great alarm, they did not watch the windows through.

    From out of the fog then suddenly I swam.

    In stranger’s house down all the anchors then I threw.


    They did not know a single thing of what I’ve been.

    Just like a movie – I was showing them all frames of life

    A single moment – I became all close to them, I mean.

    The dawn then shone with love’n’fire-come-alive.


    All of the extra things just like a coat we threw away.

    It made us laugh to look at separation.

    And I was dreaming for the freedom for the years and the days,

    Entire family was living with a dream of meeting.


    Finding your happiness at times is not as easy to be made.

    I was believing, I waited and the happiness came upon my eyes.

    I will wait up for freedom and won’t upbraid the fate,

    The patience is given to me not for nothing I will realize.



    “Take Some Rest, I am asking”


    The waters of the sea were splashing underneath so blue.

    The fuss of all the world has been left far behind.

    It seemed that everything what’s happening is not with me or you.

    We did not want to think of things that were to come in any fright.


    There is no place for sadness as the sun is here today

    Just make all of the clouds go by pushing them yourself.

    And send the dream to dreamy distances so far away

    And steal the crown of the sun for some time for yourself.



    “For The Friends”


    There was a little bit left to the victory we did not make.

    They were tormenting us and they were tearing out the veins.

    With our inner strength the walls were something we could break.

    We have been proving everyone we are not perishable as what in the ground stays.


    In three shifts we were doing all the heavy work there was to do.

    The outbursts of our soul and our actions were unfailing at it’s best.

    In honour and in conscience we have tried to cover all the empty spaces.

    The evil has been thrusting poisoned arrows into us without any rest.


    But it was hardly possible to push us off, away from scene.

    And no one from our enemies could say  we aren’t brave, I know.

    We have paid the price so honestly, too high and bloody it has been:

    From the euphoria of happiness so high up to betrayal way too low.


    The problems in our lives could not make us feel down or all sad.

    And we did not demand for change of fate deep in a heart.

    The mistakes were valuable for us just like victories we’ve had.

    We aim antennas of our souls on a way that leads to God.



    “Look From Aside”


    I took a look at myself from aside.

    But not in figurative sense, but for the real.

    All suddenly, out from the dark, my soul swam,

    And I have seen myself lie in your bed.


    And it appears that I am just like the dreams of mine, -

    The cold and evil just like blizzards in January.

    And my thoughts are just like watchdogs,

    Who have got insane from their barking.


    My dreams are affected with the spleen.

    They are the penguins – they didn’t fly and didn’t sing.

    All of my alarms are not to be counted up,

    And the fears are all the same faces and repeat themselves just like days in a week.


    My thinking of myself is way too plain.

    I’m not as luxurious as the silks of your bed sheets.

    The feelings and the poems are overwhelming me,

    But I am feeling myself like I am on a shooting.


    These looks inside of me are not needed to me, not for a bit.

    The pillows on your bed have burnt away from them.

    But what for I was given that look from the aside?

    And why have I been watching myself in your bed?



    “The Prayer”



    Oh, Lord, give me the strength to be unafraid

    To walk upon with feet of mine

    Upon the pains of yesterday.

    I’m asking Thee, give me the strength to be in state

    For these two feet of mine

    From all this creepy rustling not to fade away.

    The rustling that keeps following me all the time

    Even against the will I have, the power will of mine.

    I’m asking Thee, O, Father, allow me to laugh

    From happiness more often

    Than I’m laughing from the pain.

    Give me the wisdom, so that I defend myself enough,

    So quiet and so sure, so I could offer,

    But yet by taking screaming, cruelty and the blood away.

    And like chameleon I do not want to change, I say,

    And may I be all covered with spits –

    It’s not the first time in my life I get the hits.

    And may my dreams at night are full of fright.

    As Thou are not the One who sends them on my way

    And so the fears will just fade away on their own right

    Somewhere, somehow and way away.

    And may the prophecy of evil

    Will never find their use for me.

    I’m wishing to be worthy, so I say

    Only of Thy good will.

    May our dreams unite as one revealed

    In a great wave much greater than the sea

    The wave that can just wash the bad away.

    May every word of Thee there ever been

    I’ll learn deep in my soul ‘till the pain.

    Don’t let me at the fear’s feet to lie,

    And trust me all the passwords of the beauty never seen

    The passwords for the calm of soul of mine.



    “The Tender Words”


    Somehow I just couldn’t catch up

    With the sense of the last words you’ve said.

    I had to be all quiet, shut my mouth up –

    The ears of our enemy were useless as they listened like mad.

    It was in the dreams, yet it did not come true.

    So what am I to say, sometimes the talks are right.

    It was not easy for me, just the same as for you.

    To understand the prophecy that the words had inside.


    And everything was burnt inside with lack of words.

    The string has broken with a loud sound.

    All suddenly all of the anger has got lost. And you

    Repeated the last words another time around.


    And now I’m seeing – everything came true.

    The hidden power that was given for us, it was sane.

    And the deaf silence, it will melt just like a night all through

    And you will tell me all the tender words again.



    “I’m With You”


    I am reaching my palms out to you.

    Just like the wings, they’ll carry you away from pain and through.

    As they are always with the things your will is there to say.

    Believe me, they will cover you from chasing on your way.




    Look into the face of all the hardships out there,

    We carry only this what He has given us to wear.

    My shoulder will be for you, and this way it will always be.

    You are my life. And one whole thing is you and me.



    “Watch and Know”


    Like an arrow the fear was riding,

    Trying to smash the hearts away.

    In front of eyes there is a veil hiding.

    All feelings there have been – the only pain.


    Entire earth that day the burning fire took.

    To look at enemy - one of the awful things there were.

    But there is nowhere you can hide your look.

    So watch and know – this is the war…


    “A Step behind the Door”


    It’s darkness all around and beneath.

    The blizzard in the eyes.

    You’re out there to recognize the way he is

    Check yourself inside.


    Searching for as long as I am living.

    Calling the April I know what for.

    To knock is a something that’s given

    To knock the hearts just like a door.


    Write a letter.

    Trust him

    The legend of the sleep

    Of your dream.


    Look in the face.

    Measure with the soul

    The miles of steps,

    The tons of loss.


    Open the window wide.

    Walk behind the door.

    It is so warm out there!

    And no deaths you’ll find.



    “Escape At the Dawn”


    Down on my back your feet, I feel that there they stand.

    To be there down on my knees is so much pain, a shame to me.

    I’m almost at the bottom, see it makes you all so glad,

    But I have planned escape at time of dawn’s start from here.


    The faithful help there came from all without that there was to be.

    Someday I will be back into the saddle all again.

    And still just like the masters you are trampling down on me.

    You all – the masters in your rotten land’s insane.


    There is no hope, there are no smiles shining anywhere.

    You can’t escape by land, escape by water also will not do.

    Just with the thoughts of a slave to think of me you dare.

    Will kick you off myself and will be gone on morning’s dew.


    But still I’m living with you, just like it’s in dreams.

    I’m burning like a butterfly inside the fire.

    God, I will be able to find salvation just in Thee, so it seems,

    Reach out the hands of faith to me, so I desire.



    “What Can I Do?”


    What can I do,

    When all the gloom is getting into head and becomes hard?

    How to escape my own self,

    When there’s an arrow of the fear aiming at my heart?


    I am the own to prosecutes and I’m the one who will forgive.

    The stars, they all just fade away and the dawn is fading.

    Their shining the way it has been I have kept just to give

    All this for you has been currently waiting.


    The brain became all covered with cold of gloom

    And all the rivers from the fear have gathered into the seas.

    Away the beams of light from me then I have taken.

    What can I do when I can not fight back the evil, make it cease.


    Your own life and you have spent it without use, so you have seen

    The winter is not white and then in summer it’s not warm

    How to escape if your own home is just an evil prison you are in,

    Where I have tore the paper of the wall the times and times ago?


    I will find the key from the cage all alone.

    Will raise my hands, just like the wings, above the life then I shall hover,


    Just like a rock, the stone from heart will fall, so will be done.



    “How am I to be?”


    Oh, how am I to say?

    The fire, to put out to cease?

    To give the soul of mine away?

    To wash away with tears?

    How much is there to forgive?

    Forget all the truth human knows?

    For crucifixion myself to give?

    To sail how the current flows?

    For whom to give out there?

    Whom with to live at peace?

    Just like a star to burn somewhere?

    To rise? To hover there beneath?

    A song out there to shout?

    Or just to whine all quiet?

    You have to – you must give away!

    The debts you have – must pay it right!

    The world we live in you must save!

    Your living must be – as a fight!





    We dreamt of things,

    We never knew.

    We believed that behind clouds

    There are skies of blue.

    We were catching all that

    What the others would just never touch with a hand.

    We were trembling in cold times we had

    Against winds barely dressed there we stand.

    With the streams made of tears

    We were washing away all the dirt from the Earth and from us

    We were burning outside and inside, underneath and beneath, -

    Just like clay, with the fire we were making ourselves strong enough.

    We were falling in love and we meant it for sure.

    Giving lives out for friends, then we have meant it too.

    We were sharing ourselves, wouldn’t care see or listen

    For the emptiness, evil and kind, gave them all bits and pieces.

    We did not want for the storms to be arrive from somewhere.

    We were asking for calmness, they would keep it away

    With the thorns from the roses brought here and brought there

    We would put them so still through our life on it’s way.

    You were seeking for ways to reach winning.

    I was waiting, was hit and I was told to go.

    Then the enemies were the ones you were killing.

    But they just came back to life I saw and I know.

    Beneath the window there the enemy was seen

    Was moaning and was making crutches creak.

    Just to destroy all of the evil, it was our dream,

    For all the clouds to go

    For Heaven’s Distant Lands to open up the door.



    “What Am I to say?”


    Have you read?

    Saw the things you could find?

    Have you laughed yourself away?

    Have you sobbed or just cried?

    What your children had to say?