[this takes place in heaven, and all VOICES are of new angels in heaven]
This play was performed at Dorians, NYC, on Feb. 13th, 2005, with Laura Isom [below] playing the full angel female chorus.
BAD DAD IN BAGHDAD, by bryan adrian
VOICE1: You two new guys! Up here now? ...with us?!
VOICE2: Yeah. Casualties of the U.S. led empire in Iraq, our White House sponsored, TV network channel, hegemony. Nobody will bemoan my death like the Italian intelligence agent/negotiator's martyrdom, shot in the head by mindless American teenage soldiers in an SUV near the airport, just after he negotiated the release of the older Italian female journalist-- from the insurgents.
VOICE1: Sure are lots of us up here and NOT many with college degrees like YOU either!
VOICE2:
"All for lies. We all died just for lies. Lies lies lies. That's what chafes my new wings and makes paradise imperfect. My wings still feel awkward to me, how bout yours? How'd you die anyway?"
VOICE1] Car bomb? Shrapnel?
Friendly fire?
VOICE3] It sucks dude, friendly fire.
A CHORUS OF WOMEN CHIME IN: We died from a car bomb, ...over here boys!
THE MEN WAVE THEIR HANDS AND THEN FLAP THEIR UNBLEMISHED WINGS IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO THE WOMEN.
VOICE4] Bad Dad Bag the Dad Bad dog Baghdad, kinda catchy ... isn't it?
THE LADIES RESPOND AGAIN: We read it just days before watching all our body parts blow off for the Carlyle Group. Are they a theatre troupe?? ... all these new production companies ... Halliburton, Blackwater, Carlyle ...
VOICE7] "I believe they are part of the Carlyle Hotel chain" [the voice of a young new 10-yr old Iraqi angel intones, somewhat tentatively]
VOICE2] The food for Carlyle Group rent-a-soldier, someone told me, is provisioned by Wackenhut-GEO and Sodhexho, the US-prisons and French catering group, that owns the vending machines in the Library of Congress and
throughout the archipelago of the American missle strike bases round the globe.
VOICE5] Them Carlyle folk's got at least half-ass microwaveable TV dinners! I heard somebody earlier chatting up HAARP, the ionospheric maser beam, ... isn't that the DIA black ops setup near Gakona Alaska and Montauk Long Island and Norway, to cut holes in the ozone layer and catalyze global warming! Whaddya say to all those low frequency high energy microwaves, some kinda ELFs they call them, ain't it?... in weaponry parlance?
VOICE2] Yeah. You must have a college education too, soldier! The space shuttle Columbia crew is over there -- on that mother of all clouds [pointing to a large cloud ] over near the Yellowing Wings Angel Shampooing Parlor. They know lots about HAARP, first hand
experience! Ask them!
THE LADIES CHORUS ONCE MORE "Bad dad bag the dad ... bad dog ... Baghdad ... will it ever end?"
VOICE3] Maybe not, till everyone -- who's down there -- will be up here, ladies!
VOICE2] "Which one of you has to go down and contact one of our deep sea dolphin agents, ... whose turn is it now? It's a shame the US navy is using those ELF waves to kill hundreds if not thousands of dolphins and whales deep underwater, our kindred spirits!
VOICE7] [in an Indonesian accent] I'll go. I lost everything and everybody in the Aceh tsunami. Keep my cloud puffy will
ya? Bye Barbie, bye Yvette, by all and everyone! I'll send up my report!
THE WOMEN'S CHORUS AGAIN
"Bye Guy!"
AS HE DEPARTS, A LARGE CONTINGENT OF FRESH MEXICAN ANGELS ARRIVE IN HEAVEN.
VOICE3] "Hey! Those folks [pointing to the Mexicans] are not even dead yet!? They've jumped the gun!"
VOICE8] "It's okay, they are outsourced Mexicans from the Chennai outsource group OFFICE TIGER in India, and they are our heavenly future! GOD himself gave the thumbs up to GW, our new St. Peter the Contractor, the
Master Outsourcer and patron saint of Mexicans ... hell, of ALL illegals!"
