At Temple Emunah in Lexington, College Outreach mailings go out before Chanukah and Purim, according to Director of Youth Activities Jodie Parmer. In the winter, students receive a Starbucks card with a gift amount of $6.13. “We include a letter from the rabbi and a flyer inviting them to come to a ‘college coffee house’ that we hold in early January, when they are home on winter break,” Parmer said.

“The kids really seem to appreciate it, and we believe it keeps them connected both to Judaism and to our community,” she said. “We want them to feel that even if they have graduated, they are still welcome at our shul for services, programs, or just to stop in.”

Synagogues send a bit of home (and sweetness) to college students during holidays

By Susie Davidson

Special to the Advocate

The highest praise for a synagogue is calling it a “home away from home.” Many area synagogues are extending that concept during the High Holidays, as well as at other points of the Jewish year, by sending care packages to college students who can’t make it back to their spiritual stomping grounds.

The concept is a particularly beautiful one; volunteers assemble packages with love and, usually, sweets, cards, blessings and more. It keeps the connection going, reaches out to kids who may be far from the warm familiarities of home, and maybe even ensures that they will take a needed break from studying to observe the holidays. And it is a guaranteed hit, worth every bit of effort that volunteers put in. It’s no wonder that the program is popular, and successful. In fact, the synagogues don’t stop at the High Holidays. Many send them out several times a year. It’s a program they are rightly proud of.

“I have owned the program since its inception eight years ago,” said Ina-Lee Block, Communications Coordinator at Temple Emanu-El in Marblehead. In 2003, her twin daughters, who had just graduated from the religious school, began college, and their younger brother was interested in a unique community service. “The College Connection was a way for our students to be reminded that though they were out of sight and scattered on campuses around the country, they were still in our thoughts, and were an important part of the congregational family of Temple Emanu-El.” Block continues the program with a local teen seeking community service time. Supported by the Brotherhood and Sisterhood and free to members, it became the Alumni Connection this year, adding on young, unmarried adults between the ages of 22 and 29.

Mailings arrive for Rosh Hashanah, Chanukah, Purim or Passover. What do they get? “For the New Year, honey sticks, apple fruit leather; for Chanukah, candles, toys (such as a stress ball with a star of David to help them through finals); for Purim, shalach manot (i.e., miniature soaps in the shape of Hamentashen, with sweets) and raucous limericks; for Passover, chocolate covered matzah,” she said. In addition, there are often readings, favorite sermons, and information about the Middle East. They also receive occasional emails from the shul’s Rabbis.

For the past nine years, Wellesley-Weston Chabad in Wellesley Hills has run an active program at Wellesley and Babson Colleges. “Students are involved with Chabad here, and we also work with the students there,” said Rabbi Moshe Y. Bleich, who teaches classes at both campuses and is the mashgiach at the Pomeroy Kosher dining hall at Wellesley.　 “Students may have added themselves to our mailing list, their friends may have added their names, or a parent asks to get their children involved,” he continued. “We reach out to all of them.”

“Parents from all over the world know that their best chance to get their children involved can come about through Chabad, which has an open door policy,” said Bleich. “We are also one of the only major organizations that has a ‘no need to pay to pray’ policy,” he added. Students show up for this reason as well, he said. “This happens at the thousands of Chabad houses around the world, and the hundreds of Chabads on campuses,” he said.

So – what are the goods? “Every Chabad is different,” said Bleich. “We put out a beautiful, award-winning Jewish art calendar, and since the school year begins very close to Rosh HaShanah, I aim to send one to each Jewish student at Babson and Wellesley.” They include honey cake, and this year, little apple stress balls that say “Wishing you a Happy New Year from Chabad.” Bleich also includes a list of Chabad services and meals. “Students want to go to Rosh Hashanah, pre-Yom Kippur, and Break the Fast meals,” he said. They get a few hundred over the High Holidays.

And it comes as no surprise that the Wellesley-Weston Chabad does all this for every Jewish holiday.

“For ten years, our Temple Sisterhood has sent out four packets a year,” said Jennifer Rose Ward, Adminstrator of Temple Sinai of Sharon. It’s a win-win. “The students love getting the packages,” said Sisterhood member Leslee Rotman. “Inside is a note from the Rabbi. For Rosh HaShanah/Sukkot, we send goodies, a school supply, and sometimes honey. For Chanukah, goodies and a Chanukah toy. For Purim, a Purim toy and goodies, and for Passover, a chocolate seder plate and a Passover toy. OK, what goodies? “Treats like candy, granola bars, chips, etc.,” she explained. Makes you want to become a student again.

“We send gifts to about 60 college students each year,” said Ellen Rothberg, President of Temple Israel in Sharon, who said that their Koach (the college outreach initiative of United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism) committee will be sending honey candy for the New Year. The shul sends out packages several times a year, usually at holidays. “These often contain ritual-related, sometimes whimsical gifts,” said Rothberg. “They bring a smile to their faces and a warm feeling to their hearts.” She recalled her older son calling them laughing during his freshman year, when he took his Chanukah cake, baked in the package it came in, out of the oven. “That small touch of Temple Israel in his dorm room took the sting away from being so far from home, and he　(perhaps illicitly) lit　 the accompanying candles with a couple of friends on his floor,” she said. “He was able to continue the tradition instilled in him over the years at TI and at home.”

“Our program, coordinated by School Administrator Deborah Stoloff, sends holiday packs four times a year,” said Helen Urban, Synagogue Administrator at Congregation Agudas Achim in Attleboro. The shul charges a nominal fee of $36 to parents, who supply addresses. “We　make sure the students receive our newsletter and other regular synagogue mailings, as well as the gift packages with holiday themes,” said Rabbi Elyse Wechterman. The packets contain explanations of holiday customs and items such as honey sticks for Rosh HaShanah and candles and a mini menorah for Hanukkah. “We also include fun things like stickers, books,　and decks of cards,” she said.

“Our students are such a part of the community throughout their lives, I see no reason that should stop once they go away to school,” said Wechterman.　“Often, they have not only graduated from our Hebrew school and celebrated their Bar or Bat Mitzvah here, they have also worked as aides in the Hebrew School, belonged to our teen program, and even served in our leadership,” she said. (The shul has two positions on their board for teens).

Sandy Goldstein of Temple Beth Elohim in Wellesley started their College Connection program in 1995, and remained until her last child left college in 2003.　“The goals were to forge a relationship between the Temple and the college students, and to provide not just cute gifts and delicious snacks, but to also impart important information in a fun way,” she said. When she learned that some of their students lacked confidence to answer questions about what their holidays represented, she created a version of Cliff Notes for Purim and Chanukah. (“Nowadays, though, I am not sure if the college students even know what those yellow striped Cliff Notes are!” she remarked.) For Rosh Hashanah, the kids get squeezable apples and a honey stick, wrapped in cellophane and tied with a ribbon wishing them a "stressless New Year". “The kids told me they loved going into friends' dorm rooms in different colleges and seeing that same apple on their desks,” she said. “You never know what will have an impact.” Letters from the clergy, occasional on-line communications, and birthday cards also go out. Parents pay a suggested donation of $18 per student to partially defray costs, and additional donations are welcomed.

It is interesting to note that both Reform and Conservative synagogues tend to call the program “The College Connection.” “It’s just a name we developed, with no prompting from any formal organization,” said Block of Temple Emanu-El. “Perhaps alliteration is simply attractive,” she said.

“Our program　has been going on for a number of years,” said Ellen Jagher, Office and Building Administrator at Temple Beth Am in Framingham. “A temple volunteer (this year, Judy Finn) assembles each gift and mails the packages to all families　that respond with their student's college address,” she said. Holiday gifts are sent at the High Holidays, Chanukah, Purim and Passover. There is no cost. “Included are appropriate holiday foods, gifts, and a note　from our spiritual leader, Cantor Jodi Schechtman,　along with college-appropriate literature, jokes, etc.,” said Jagher.

At Sh’aray Shalom in Hingham, students get the holiday mailings, and the shul also holds a special Shabbat Service around Thanksgiving time to honor students, according to CSS School Administrator Annette L. L'Heureux. About 280 families participate in the program, which was suggested by Rabbi Shira Joseph and began five years ago. “We usually try to send something for Rosh Hashanah, Chanukah, and Purim,” said L’Heureux. “We always include some edible treats, such as honey sticks, green apple Jolly Ranchers, dreidels and gelt, Hamentashen, and candy from Israel, and have also included gift cards from Starbucks, Barnes and Noble and iTunes, as well as silly stuff like noisemakers and masks, pomegranate-scented air fresheners, bubble gum and paddleballs.” The baskets sound complicated, but L’Heureux said that the hardest part is not putting them together, and, getting parents to keep the lists current. L’Heureux pulls out members with kids of that age from their database, and puts a request in the monthly bulletin.

Some shuls opt for other holidays instead of Rosh Hashana. “For the past five or six years, we have sent packages to students at Chanukah time only,” said Amy Sherr, Administrator of Congregation Beth Israel of the Merrimack Valley in Andover. “It's a great idea to expand it to the High Holy Days, though,” she mused.

At Temple Emunah in Lexington, College Outreach mailings go out before Chanukah and Purim, according to Director of Youth Activities Jodie Parmer. In the winter, students receive a Starbucks card with a gift amount of $6.13. “We include a letter from the Rabbi and a flyer inviting them to come to a ‘college coffee house’ that we hold in early January, when they are home on winter break,” she said. The next mailing is at Purim. “We felt it was a better time for students to get a package, because Pesach often falls during spring break, when students are not around to get their package,” she explained. It is also easier, as they use the same packaging materials from the synagogue-wide Mishloah Manot baskets. “This year I had my 7^th grade Rosh Hodesh girls put the Purim packages together,” she said, “because it felt like a good tikun olam project.”

Emunah’s letters to students include colorful logos and, in one, a hilarious portrait of John Belushi.

Temple Israel of Natick sends packages at Chanukah and Passover, according to Director Marla Gold.

Temple Sinai in Marblehead sends them at Passover, according to Judy Locke, a member of the Sisterhood’s Planning Board.　 Like others, they request names and addresses of college students from members. “Our Sisterhood purchases the items, and packages and ships them out,” she said. “When the student opens them, they read a beautiful note from Rabbi Aaron Fine, and find a box of matzah, jam, marshmallows, a chocolate candy bar, and jelly candies, all kosher for Passover,” she said.

Sinai chose Passover over the High Holidays for mailings, she said, because in September, the students have just left home and are still connected to the community. “Before Passover, around the end of March, we feel that they could use a little surprise from their Temple community,” said Locke.

The holidays notwithstanding, Rothberg said the most meaningful gift is the beautiful, personalized note cards they receive as a graduation gift. “One year a parent, so taken with this delightful tradition, called to say that since her child graduated in three years, could they remain in the program for the fourth, post-college year,” she said. “Over the years, my children have received candles, Jewish-themed wind chimes, matzah ball hacky sacks, Passover seder plates and chocolates,” she said. “These are small gifts, but they are enough to continue the connection with a warm and nurturing Jewish community.”

“Many of them are going to schools with small Jewish communities, or little visible Jewish presence,” noted Rabbi Wechterman. “It’s a helpful reminder of the traditions that were left behind that may not be accessible.”

“The kids really seem to appreciate it, and we believe it keeps them connected both to Judaism and to our community,” said Parmer. “We want them to feel that even if they have graduated, they are still welcome at our shul for services, programs, or just to stop in.”

Do the students get back to them? “Often times it will be the parent who thanks us,” said Bleich. “College students 18, 19 and 20 years old don’t always think of it - but some do.” He said that sometimes, though, after four years of nurturing these students, at age 21, they will say, “hey Rabbi, you have no idea what impact you’ve had on my four years away from home here.” Bleich said that students often comment in their Babson Chabad Facebook page.

The thrill of this effort goes both ways. “I love doing it!” said Rotman, who said kids sometimes send thank you notes. “My own children have really enjoyed it. It brings spirituality and Judaism to the child,” she said.

　“I began the program when my oldest child began college, and promised to do it until my youngest graduated, which would have been a span of 7 years,” said Block. Now on her eighth year, she says she doesn’t imagine giving it up any time soon.

No one outgrows the thrill of getting a package in the mail, especially a surprise package. But what the students really get is far more important than even the succulent sweets and nurturing sermons. “They get a voice from home telling them they are still part of our congregation,” said Block.