In addition to these hypotheses, this writer would also surmise that a higher degree of positivity among these children might exist due to varied sociological factors commonly present in Jewish homes. From this writer's own as well as observed experience, previously discussed contributors to positivity are present, if not stressed, in Jewish familial and social environments.
Jewish children often enjoy regular contact with a significant elder person or persons, their grandparent(s). The setting is usually the idealized home setting. These children witness and are privy to the subjective, positive characteristics of the elderly that have been favored over external aspects.
The formative home atmosphere is generally one in which the elders are viewed as integral by all concerned, and beneficial. Parents' perception, likewise, is generally positive.
The socio-economic status of the Jewish household is generally high. Education is paramount, and schoolwork is often a family effort. Grandparents are included in many aspects of childrearing. They babysit, pick children up if they drive, and take part in all social functions in the Jewish household. They go to school events and ceremonies. Many times, it has been this writer's observation that the grandparents are emotionally closer to grandchildren than are the parents, and in the child's esteem, they are often equal if not superior.
Furthermore, grandparents are cared for, their concerns are attended to, and they enjoy a relationship with their adult children that is inclusive and affirming, while their independence and actualization are respected. This should, it would seem, only reflect positively upon the grandchildren, who would view their grandparents as important, fulfilled people who actively participate in life, showing little if any signs of loneliness, degradation or fear.
While various forms of media might influence children's perception, this would not seem to be the case in the Orthodox community, where entertainment is supervised and subject to parental approval. In addition, the Torah, upon which the Orthodox life is centered, is replete with sages and hero/heroines of extremely advanced age.
Given this discussion, it would thus seem, at least to this writer, that Jewish children's attitudes toward the elderly would be more positive than what has been seen in prior studies involving children and elderly in the public at large.
Cohen's results were mixed, and somewhat surprising. There was, altogether, not a huge amount of disparity between their results and those of secular children. Again, subjective responses were more positive than outward observations of the elderly.
"...despite the overall negative attitudes toward the elderly, there was a tendency to recognize old people's goodness, kindness, honesty and wisdom; the children also expressed a love for old people in general. These findings, therefore, suggest that the children maintain some positive feelings toward the elderly despite a predominance of negative attitudes...More than half would welcome help from an old person and a majority would go to an old person for help...a high 83% would provide help to an old person.
The hypotheses regarding females and older students were unproven; females were only slightly more positive in subjective feelings regarding old people, and younger students actually held more positive viewpoints than older on the whole.
The Orthodox showed more positivity than the Conservative or Reform students in, again, subjective feelings only.
Positive attitude in subjective matters did increase with more frequent contact with old people, but again, not in external factors. However, if the contact was in a nursing home or hospital, the negatives were more pronounced.
Clearly, there are always outside societal, emotional or entirely subjective forces at work that may play an influential role. Children, the inarticulate voices that they can be, may not on the whole be optimally focused as reporters. Maybe children everywhere in this country are affected by "the America problem." Nonetheless, this report's findings were surprising, especially with regard to the Orthodox community's external viewpoints. States Cohen:
From the data it appears that belonging to a particular religio-ethnic subgroup, and even attending a school which emphasizes the need to revere one's elders, is not likely to affect the children's attitudes in a more positive direction. The negative attitudes toward the elderly which are prevalent in society also seem to influence the attitudes of children who belong to a microculture that teaches its children to be respectful of the elderly. Assimilatory and extra-school influences continue to shape these children's attitudes toward the elderly despite efforts made by the religion schools to inculcate a sense of reverence for the elderly. There are implications from these findings not only for Jewish religion educators but for all members of religio-ethnic microcultures who attempt to teach their children to revere and respect their elders. (Cohen, p. 191). ..."It appears that despite the aspirations and efforts of this subculture to inculcate a sense of reverence for its elders, the children's attitudes are similar to those of secular children. Apparently, too many extraneous factors intervene (p. 196).
Cohen, like Phenice, suggests more planned and prepared-for classroom interaction with elderly people. He also expressed reservation about parents bringing children to nursing homes without careful preparation, lest these visits reinforce the negative stereotypes commonly held about the elderly, and be in the end counterproductive to the intention (p. 192). He feels that further research is needed on frequency of visits and settings of the visits as influential factors in children's perception. And he stresses education on aging and the elderly, for the good of the individual as well as society at large:
In view of the fact that there are over 30 million people over 60 years of age in the United States today, and that it is estimated that one-fifth of the population will be over 65 years of age by the year 2000, it seems critical that educators begin to examine how they are preparing children to adjust to their aging and to relate positively to those who are older." (Cohen, p. 194)
Shaloh House, Stoughton
At the Shaloh House of Stoughton, Mass. Sunday school, I obtained results that were more in line with my hypothesis. Here, in their Sunday classes, I saw the results I had hoped to glean from my research, as child after child enthusiastically submitted poems they had written about their elderly relatives. In every case, the admiration they conveyed was instant, extraordinary, and genuine.
The 45 children I observed spoke glowingly of their grandparents and elderly relatives as they composed and submitted flattering, admiring poems about them. Their feelings seemed to be heartfelt and profound. They told me anecdotes about their elders' cooking, dancing and storytelling and conveyed to me how intrinsic a part of their families they were.
I compiled the poems these children submitted into a booklet and took photos of each author. This booklet will be discussed below. Needless to say, I was altogether both impressed and heartened by my visit.
The impressions lent by grandparents have a deep and lasting effect. Frederic Lown (1985), who has taught English, Drama and Social Studies for over 20 years in the Randolph and Brookline, Mass. public schools, recalls the profound influence his Lithuanian Jewish grandmother had upon his family life, his growing up years and those of her successive generations of descendants. No longer a child, he nonetheless remains very influenced by his grandmother:
My paternal grandparents and father immigrated to this country in the mid-1930s from Lithuania. My grandparents were in their early forties when they left everybody and everything but for their immediate family and a few personal belongings. Almost everyone they left was murdered by the Nazis or by Lithuanian fascists. My grandparents were married for sixty-five years until my grandfather's death in 1885. My grandmother lived for another seven years in grace and dignity. "Sestina for a Grande Dame" is dedicated to her memory (Lown, p. 27).
Sestina for a Grande Dame
She was always the Grande Dame of our family
realm, ruling from the regal heights of a former world.
…
She never forgot a detail as she sifted stories
like sand through hands that had once held power
in a Polish shtetl on the German border where her family
life centered around her holy father whose prayers focused
on searching eyes imprisoned in gaunt bodies and tattered lives,
but his attentions rested on her. he was her world.
We were humbled by her bland of the simple with her world
wiseness that yielded recipes for stories
so rich in taste that our own lives
became bland, not by her design, by our loss of power
in a culture committed to sound-bites of unfocused
rage compelling us to seek solace in our family.
She regaled us with fables of her old world family
but pierced our souls with poignant stories focusing
her breath on her second life and giving power to our lives.
Lown, pp. 27-8
Children have similar feelings to the elderly
As shown above, children do in fact have similar feelings to those felt by the elderly, which manifest in their work. "Children are often concerned," write Gensler and Nyhart (1978), "with questions about how they were born, how they'll die, how their lives fit into larger natural cycles.
It is ambitious, if not virtually utopian, to envision an idealized scenario of youth-elderly relations.
As is often the case when systemic support is not present, the solution falls to individual families and cultures to provide and build the groundwork necessary to achieve a better situation. In this case, parents must convey the value of elderly relationships to their children, and must practice respect and consideration toward elders in their own lives as an example. Teachers must continue their good work of opening students up the creative powers within them and to the society outside as they shape and form future civil guardians. Religious leaders must be there to impart the morality and reverence for humanity that is the basis of their belief, and should if possible furnish opportunities for community outreach. It is truly unfortunate that parents, teachers and leaders of faith, who are already strapped far beyond their means, must shoulder this responsibility that our governmental programs should by right at least augment. However, as they are ordinarily exemplary beings, they are also the most logical choice for this course.
With a strong personal foundation, something creative and heartfelt to share and to receive in return, children can bring a great deal to the aged. With proper support and provision, the elderly can be free to enjoy their hard-earned later years in good company and with enjoyable and effective mental stimulation. This is not a picture that is impossible or even improbable to conceptualize. The right encouragement and environment can bring it into actuality.
My Grandparents
My grandparents are special
They are Jewish like me
We do different things
But are pretty much the same
They are always there for me
Whenever I'm happy or sad.
When I see them we give kisses and hugs
I LOVE MY GRANDPARENTS NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
Amanda Arons, Age 9, Randolph, MA
G is for great people
R is for relatives
A is for Arthur Seidman, my grandpa
N because nobody compares to them
D is the dancing my grandma Lee does!
Gabrielle Kronfeld, age 9
For: Arthur and Lee Seidman
Maria Kronfeld
The Elders
Their warm sweet voices,
And their wrinkled hands,
Their small weak smile,
And all can be the best thing in the world!
The crisp, crunch latkes,
And fresh fruit basket,
From their big hearts to me.
We all get together,
We all do connect,
My elders and I,
Together forever!
Romy Levin, Age 9, Sharon, MA
Great Aunt Betty
My great aunt Betty
Lives in her house in Newton.
She is always happy to see me
We go on weekends.
She always offers me a Creamsicle.
Jesse Mercado, age 10, Sharon, MA
Elders
Our elders - so
wise and silent
hold secrets and treasures,
memories inside them
beliefs have trailed beside them
year after year
as long as their many experiences
thinking about their past years and
how events are situations and their
religion molded their personalities
and views of life.
Our elders
have lived through so many problems
each one planning a lesson into their minds
they appreciate
and tell the younger funny stories
of their past
they are mature
and calm
Our elders
see life from different angles
angles that shine truth and
peace
toward their eyes.
Tasha Levin, age 12, Sharon, MA