Yanteh
It was in the fall of my life,
nearing the snows of winter,
when within a dream I awoke and realized, unbidden,
in the middle of the night he had come back to me smiling.
I had been feeling cold and tired and I had curled up in the bed
in a tight little ball until I got myself warm
and safe in piles of blankets and let myself drift into slumber.
He was so delighted to finally see me open up to him again
he hardly knew what to do with himself or with me.
So infectious was his joy that I was giggling without knowing why.
(I’ll bet he started smiling from the first moment his mother licked him clean
even before he first opened his eyes.
I didn’t know him then but he must have been a warm soft ball of fluff.)
So it was I saw him with his tongue hanging out
looking at me with mirth.
I don’t think he expected me to acknowledge him
for when I did, he gave himself up to the ecstasy of recognition
and greeting common to animals that haven’t seen you in five minutes
reacting as if it had been at least five years
and for us it had been much longer.
The moment my eyes rested on him,
he began to get excited and took to dancing around me
trying to convince me that he cared.
He would move close and then just as I reached out to touch him
he would jump back and run, just out of range.
He leapt and bounded and ran in little circles around me
and then down, butt in the air, head on front paws grinning at me
before he took off to repeat the process.
Finally, with one great lunge he hurled himself at me,
upsetting me and spilling me into a pile of giggles onto the carpet.
Reaching back and back into forgotten memories, long ago yesterdays
when he was my playmate, where did we not go together
when our spirits were young?
Did we play hide and seek among the clouds?
I wonder when it was that I packed him away
with the toys of childhood I stored in the attic?
Why did I? Childhood came and went with lessons to be learned
and growing up things to do
and I didn’t have time to pay attention
to where I stored Yanteh, my wolf spirit friend.
His light dimmed by years spent ignored
and my light dimmed by growing up and getting on with it,
I got on with it without the fullness of his love
that could have made my way warmer.
I don’t remember when I first became aware of him
although surely there must have been a beginning.
Perhaps that will come to me someday,
like all the rest, as waking from a misty dream.
How many lifetimes have we wandered through together?
Flashes of, fragments of, forgotten moments fill my mind.
I see him bury his muzzle under my arm in an affectionate gesture.
I see myself throw my arms around him, sobbing into his soft fur
when whatever world we were in became too heavy.
I see his yellow eyes that hold so much compassion and joy,
narrow and glitter and his upper lip pull back to expose sharp fangs,
growling deep within him in a quiet but dangerous warning
to any who might threaten me.
He is my protector, the sentinel who sees to my well being.
He is my guide. He is my friend.
Yanteh is large, standing taller than I,
if he were to place his front paws upon my shoulders,
and he is sleek and shiny. His fur is silver trimmed with white
and he glows with health.
In his yellow glittering eyes is the bright gleam of intelligence
softened with the liquid warmth of love freely given.
He is overflowing with fun and good humor,
giving him a youthfulness that surely must belie his spirit age.
Yanteh is quite happy in his role as protector, friend and guide.
He is exuberant in his lot and wishes for nothing else.
He only knows that he is happy, in fact, he is filled with joy
that I see him again, that I allow him passage to come to me.
It is enough.
If only I could describe the joy of sweet reunion,
the thrill of being once more side by side,
the quiet peace and happiness,
knowing all is well and I’m on the right path, which stretches out before me now.
The purest love of all is that which asks nothing
but to glow nearby and be allowed to give.
In that purity, time ceases to exist and we allow spirit to take us where it will.
It will take us home.
In laughter shared, tears comforted, and golden moments
packed away in secret places in my mind, like photographs,
Yanteh in all his grinning glory belongs to me.
He is wolf, he is free, he is happy,
he is timeless and he is mine.
Yanteh, the wolf, runs along beside me,
“Come sit beside us,
Love…
