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Information and Links for Tulsa Battered Women
              

 

SAFETY GUIDELINES

Safety During An Explosive Incident

• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in an area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.

• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best.

• Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.

• Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.

• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.

• Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to).

• Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.

• Always remember - YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED!

Safety When Preparing To Leave

• Open a savings account in your own name to establish or increase your independence.

• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.

• Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.

• Keep the domestic violence crisis line phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card with you at all times for emergency phone calls.

• Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer. REMEMBER -- LEAVING YOUR BATTERER CAN BE THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME.

Safety In Your Own Home

• Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.

• Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.

• Inform your children's school, day care, etc. about who has permission to pick up your children.

• Inform neighbors and landlords that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home. Safety With A Protective Order

• Keep your protective order with you at all times. (When you change your purse, that should be the first thing that goes in it).

• Call the police if your partner breaks the protective order.

• Think of alternative ways to keep safe in case the police do not respond right away.

• Inform family, friends, neighbors that you have a protective order in effect

Safety On The Job And In Public

• Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security (provide a picture of your batterer if possible).

• Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible.

• Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home (i.e., in your car, on the bus, etc.).

Your Safety & Emotional Health

• If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss your options with someone you trust. If you choose to return, make sure to have a safety plan.

• If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.

• Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.

• Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger.

• Decide who you can call to talk with freely and openly and who will give you the support you need.

• Plan to attend a women's or victim's support group for at least two weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Internet and Computer Safety Tips for Domestic Violence Victims

• Did you know…there are hundreds of ways that computers record everything you do on the them. Computers can provide a lot of information about what you look at on the Internet, the e-mails you send, and other activities. It is not possible to delete or clear all computer "footprints".

• If you think your activities are being monitored, they probably are. Abusive people are often controlling and want to know your every move. You don't need to be a computer programmer, or have special skills to monitor someone's computer activities--anyone can do it and there are many ways to monitor.

• If you think you may be monitored on your home computer, you might consider no home Internet use or "safer" Internet surfing. Example: If you are planning to flee to California, don't look at classified ads for jobs and apartments, bus tickets, etc. for California on a home computer, or any computer an abuser has physical or remote access to. Use a safer computer to research an escape plan.

• If you are in danger, please try to use a safer computer that someone abusive does not have direct access to, or even remote (hacking) access to. It might be safer to use a computer in a public library, at a trusted friend's house, or at an Internet Cafe. Most people think the safest, most private computer is their home computer, but that may not necessarily be the case for victims of domestic violence. E-mail is not a safe or confidential way to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life—much like mailing a post card to someone compared to mailing a sealed envelope.

 

 

 

 

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