I took my troubles down to Madam Rue
You know, that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth
She's got a pad down on 34th and Vine
Selling little bottles of
Love Potion Number Nine
I told her that I was a flop with chicks
I've been this way since 1956
She looked at my palm
And she made a magic sign
She said, 'What you need is
Love Potion Number Nine'
She bent down and turned around
And gave me a wink
She said 'I'm gonna make it up
Right here in the sink'
It smelled like turpentine
And looked like india ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes
I took a drink
I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissin' everything in sight
But when I kissed a cop
Down on 34th and Vine
He broke my little bottle of
Love Potion Number Nine