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Sunday, 18 June 2006
Dead Wrong
Mood:  down
Topic: Sun up >> Sun Down
DEAD WRONG

An interference caused by knowledge could create a world that pushes to torture and punish.

As I try and push to grow and recounter my previous life experiences(3) I am blockaded by an idea in society. Its as though I am treated like an animal (a cowardace). My proven stength and street knowledge has allowed a parade to errupt. The underlying ideas cause me a great deal of pain. One thing is said and another is felt. How can I continue to learn and grow when my ideas are blockaded? Its living a punishment. I did not call society to test and appropriate my way of living. Peace and comfort was dystroyed by the corrupt ideas of man. It has resulted in a life of restitution. I am living as a sperm being told there is no way to make through society.

As my father listens to me on the other side of the wall, I begin to realize privacy no longer exsists within this household. By movement and sound he will pursue everyway possible to dystroy my well being. TONIGHT he called the police after I threw a demonstation of my anger and fear.

College allowed me to generate and formulate my own ideas, to understand our society. The respect I have obtained is due to this experience. People feel I have a key to our future because I know how our society once was.

I realize things change as time moves forward. Nothing can reform how society once was when I moved away from home.

I although question the WAY things changed. When people are literally trying to dystroy and kill me... I am told to go ahead and commit suicide....I admit to feeling an inner turmoil. I am told this feeling must stop and never reoccur. My heart pains for society to change and work towards comfort and progress.

The fact that I was not allowed to obtain an education would infact arise turmoil within my face and inner soul. I still choose not to face these trials. I started alone. Wouldn't this block all the outside junk? Who let it in? Just because I'm a pothead does not mean people have the right to torture and invade. Is there such thing as a re-trial?

I lived with people who sat around and did not work. They sat all day. I had a job and an education, a future. Why were low-lifes givin the key to the distruction of my life goals. I am being forced to fight against all the negativity. Living literal punishment. It can not be legal to treat people with such utter disrespect.

It occurs from across walls. My neighbor had me thinking about my lips and he attempted to make me think about sucking his cock. My woman neighbor upstairs ended up fucking this man in celebration of my distruction. The violation of my privacy forced me outside where I almost crashed and died.

There remains a fear that has been created by the evil and distruction people create. I fear this fear will continue to be used to distruct my well being. How can I find a way to forward society in the healing of this issue? Why have I been forced to live in a sex pool? Will I remain afraid forever?

How can physical pain be cured? An idea has been stamped and cannot be erased. There is no way for me to forget the pain. This may be the reason people will play with the idea and attempt to provide sources of help when in fact it is only to hurt and distruct. I get hurt and then left behind.

I will continue to stick to the same ideas I once had. Since everything around me is changing so negatively, I choose not to trust it. How to end the head pressure?

Posted by planet/spectrumfire5 at 5:28 PM CDT
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Dead Wrong
Mood:  down
Topic: Sun up >> Sun Down
DEAD WRONG

An interference caused by knowledge could create a world that pushes to torture and punish.

As I try and push to grow and recounter my previous life experiences(3) I am blockaded by an idea in society. Its as though I am treated like an animal (a cowardace). My proven stength and street knowledge has allowed a parade to errupt. The underlying ideas cause me a great deal of pain. One thing is said and another is felt. How can I continue to learn and grow when my ideas are blockaded? Its living a punishment. I did not call society to test and appropriate my way of living. Peace and comfort was dystroyed by the corrupt ideas of man. It has resulted in a life of restitution. I am living as a sperm being told there is no way to make through society.

As my father listens to me on the other side of the wall, I begin to realize privacy no longer exsists within this household. By movement and sound he will pursue everyway possible to dystroy my well being. TONIGHT he called the police after I threw a demonstation of my anger and fear.

College allowed me to generate and formulate my own ideas, to understand our society. The respect I have obtained is due to this experience. People feel I have a key to our future because I know how our society once was.

I realize things change as time moves forward. Nothing can reform how society once was when I moved away from home.

I although question the WAY things changed. When people are literally trying to dystroy and kill me... I am told to go ahead and commit suicide....I admit to feeling an inner turmoil. I am told this feeling must stop and never reoccur. My heart pains for society to change and work towards comfort and progress.

The fact that I was not allowed to obtain an education would infact arise turmoil within my face and inner soul. I still choose not to face these trials. I started alone. Wouldn't this block all the outside junk? Who let it in? Just because I'm a pothead does not mean people have the right to torture and invade. Is there such thing as a re-trial?

I lived with people who sat around and did not work. They sat all day. I had a job and an education, a future. Why were low-lifes givin the key to the distruction of my life goals. I am being forced to fight against all the negativity. Living literal punishment. It can not be legal to treat people with such utter disrespect.

It occurs from across walls. My neighbor had me thinking about my lips and he attempted to make me think about sucking his cock. My woman neighbor upstairs ended up fucking this man in celebration of my distruction. The violation of my privacy forced me outside where I almost crashed and died.

There remains a fear that has been created by the evil and distruction people create. I fear this fear will continue to be used to distruct my well being. How can I find a way to forward society in the healing of this issue? Why have I been forced to live in a sex pool? Will I remain afraid forever?

How can physical pain be cured? An idea has been stamped and cannot be erased. There is no way for me to forget the pain. This may be the reason people will play with the idea and attempt to provide sources of help when in fact it is only to hurt and distruct. I get hurt and then left behind.

I will continue to stick to the same ideas I once had. Since everything around me is changing so negatively, I choose not to trust it. How to end the head pressure?

Posted by planet/spectrumfire5 at 5:28 PM CDT
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Wednesday, 7 June 2006
Adult Busters
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: MADE on MTV
Topic: Sun up >> Sun Down
What is frustrating? The fact that media can be so incredably nosey. I can see my life is fun to make sense out of but its just keeps resorting my knowledge. Unless something or someone starts helping I'm never going to get anywhere. Something is always wrong.

I'm about to go speak with Dr.GJ about my grades. I got F-numbers in all my classes. I just found out yesterday that it means I didnt show up fpr class. Such a lie! I was there every single day. I'll admit I was late at times, but I always worked my hardest to succeed in all my classes. Especially after what occured first semester.

My Camera SUCKS

Posted by planet/spectrumfire5 at 4:12 PM CDT
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