Rules of Combat
1. Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
2. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
3. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
4. If you are short of everything except the enemy, you are in combat.
5. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
6. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
7. If you make it too tough for the enemy to get in, you can't get out.
8. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will be short.
10 All five second grenade fuses go off after three seconds.
11. The easiest route is always mined.
12. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
13. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammunition.
14. Working as part of a team is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
15. Never forget your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
11. If you have a secured area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
16. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
17. Friendly fire isn't friendly.
18. Guided missiles aren't.
19. Incoming fire has the right of way.
20. Tracers work both ways.
21. No combat unit ever passed inspection.
22. No inspection ready unit has survived combat.
23. No operation plan survives the first contact intact.
24. If you take more than your share of objectives you will be assigned more objectives to take.
25. If it's stupid but it works, it's not stupid.
26. Interchangeable parts aren't.
27. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
28. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
29. No matter which way you have to march, it will always be uphill.
30. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
31. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
32. The one item you need is always in short supply.
33. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Murphy's Rules were found floating around on the Internet (via e-mail). If anyone wants to take credit for these gems, please identify yourself.