Inside Outside

by
Michele

Part Two

Xander fumbled with his keys and after a few tries using his left hand to get the door open, set the cooler down, switched the bag to his left hand and the keys to his right. Finally, the lock clicked open and he managed to get everything inside without droppage or breakage.

"Spike?" The vampire wasn't on the couch where he'd left him nor was he in the kitchen where Xander placed the cooler and the bag on the counter. The bathroom door was open, so he wasn't there either. A peek in the bedroom solved the not very mysterious mystery.

Spike was sprawled out on top of the covers of the bed resting anything but peacefully. He twitched slightly in his sleep and looked drawn and even more tired than when Xander left two hours before. He hadn’t meant to be gone that long but there had been no help for it.

Xander approached the bed and sat on the edge, frowning when the vampire whimpered and turned on his side. It was times like these, few and far between as they were, when Xander was reminded that Spike was not as invincible or as monstrous as he'd like people to think.

"Spike?" He shook the vampire's shoulder gently, not wanting to startle him. "Come on, wake up. You need to eat."

Slowly, Spike opened his eyes and blinked a few times but otherwise remained still. After a few more minutes, he seemed to become more aware of his surroundings and he rolled onto his back before sitting up. "What time is it?"

"About 11:30. I was gone longer than I expected, are you okay?"

Spike started to nod but winced instead. "Yeah, just peachy. What took you?"

"Fazolli didn't want to cooperate so I had to uh… kinda persuade him. I just hope Buffy never finds out I used her as a threat to buy blood for the evil undead… "

"Who the hell is Fazolli? Did Willie sell the place?" Spike spoke carefully and was scooting to the end of the bed as if every inch of skin hurt when he moved.

"Willie? What's Willie got to do with… Oh. No, I didn't get the stuff there. I wouldn't trust that little rat not to sell me pig labeled as human and it's not like I could tell the difference."

Having made it to the end of the bed, Spike was waiting until his head stopped spinning enough to be able to stand. "So who's Fazolli?" Maybe if he distracted Xander enough, he wouldn't notice how much worse off he was since the human left.

"Demon. Of some kind. Horn in the middle of forehead kind. Anyway, I uh… kinda followed… you know… Angel one time and… Well, that's where he'd get his occasional bag of human. I always meant to tell Buffy about it but it never seemed the right time."

Xander watched Spike closely, waiting to see how long it would take before the vampire admitted he wasn't going to be able to get from the bedroom to the kitchen without some help. It was clear that the vampire had had another attack while he'd been gone and, at least for now, was again almost totally blind.

"Huh. Where's this Fazolli blokes place then?"

"Over on Pecan Street. Runs the business out of the back of the Mr. Thrifty Store." Xander had always found that ironic in some ways. It was the same store his mother had bought most of his clothes as a kid before Xander started refusing to go there. "I got sixteen bags but it took all the money I got from your place. He said I was getting a good deal but I think he jacked the prices up some because I'm human."

"No, it was a good deal. A really good deal." Spike rocked forward and made it all the way up before his legs gave way and he ended up back on the bed. With a sigh of defeat he held out a hand toward Xander. "Be a mate and give us a hand, eh?"

Xander immediately got up and helped Spike to stand. He said nothing about Spike's worsening condition and neither did Spike. "Why so expensive when it's running around, free for the taking in the original containers not twenty feet from where Fazolli is selling it?"

They were half-way across the living room, Xander's arm firm around Spike's waist, by the time he was able to answer. "There's some kinds of demons that don't like to kill unless they can't help it but only need blood on occasion and this here is a town with a Slayer. Wouldn't do to catch her notice so they buy when they need it. There's all kinds of reasons to buy blood and he probably even has a few human customers. Although they're probably not buying it for their pet vampire."

Xander kicked the chair out from under the kitchen table and lowered Spike down onto it. "You're not anybody's pet, Spike. But, you know, now that I think about it, you might look kind of cute with a choke chain around your neck." He went quickly to plastic bag containing his impulse buys and removed an oversized frosted glass beer mug. It had looked big enough in Mr. Thrifty's to hold an entire bag of blood so he'd bought it and a pack of cigarettes on his way back through the store on his way out.

Spike snorted his opinion of Xander's words and cocked his head as Xander moved from the counter to the sink to the microwave. Shortly, the microwave started humming and the water ran for a few minutes before being turned off. A few squeaks of glass being dried and then the microwave binged.

"Tell me if it's too hot, okay?"

Spike's hands were guided to an object that was emitting the delicious smell of fairly fresh, hot blood. He felt his mouth water and his face ripple, demon trying to emerge. As soon as he got a good grip on the - he felt the contours of the warm glass - beer mug, he lifted it to his mouth and began gulping it down.

"You can change if you want. If it makes it easier or… whatever."

Not having to be told twice – although at another time Spike would have been angry to realize just how well he'd been trained by these humans – Spike's face shifted and he swallowed down the last few drops in the glass.

"Hold on, I'll heat up another." The mug was taken, rinsed, refilled and placed in the microwave. "Is it helping, do you think?"

Spike wasn't hearing anything outside of himself. He could feel the healing blood moving through his body, filling his veins, rushing to fill that part of him that kept the corpse moving night after night. His demon stirred and demanded more.

He opened his eyes and turned his head toward the source of his nourishment. Xander stared back at him and nervously shifted from foot to foot obviously hoping that the microwave would be done soon. As soon as it dinged, he popped open the door and gingerly set the mug back in front of a very hungry looking vampire.

Once again, Spike lifted the mug and gulped the contents down quickly, not bothering to savor the life that was entering his body. He was too starved for it, too empty. When the glass was again empty, he held it steadily out at arms length for more.

"You… you're looking better all ready." Xander quickly repeated his rinse, fill, microwave routine, only this time he stepped to the side of the microwave to open the door so he wouldn't have to turn his back on the vampire at the table. "Heh. Heh. Umm… Spike… I always wondered… Can you see better like that? I mean, is it like a cat or something? 'Cause your eyes kind of look like a cat's right now. Only, you know, I'm not a mouse or anything so could you quit looking at me like I am one?"

The Xanderbabble finally registered with Spike and he blinked, breaking his concentration away from the beating of Xander's heart. Oh, the blood was helping all right, he could feel it regenerating his body in a way that animal blood just couldn't do. Even the skin on the back of his hands was starting to look a little different; not pinker but… more right somehow.

The third mug of blood was placed before him and he was barely aware of Xander backing slowly away again. This time he drank slower, taking a few mouthfuls at a time, then pausing to savor the thick liquid as it coated his mouth and slid down his throat. By the time he reached the bottom of the mug, he knew he'd had enough for now.

He placed the mug back on the table and closed his eyes, willing the healing to begin in his head. When nothing unusual happened for several minutes, he frowned and forced his human mask back to the fore. He opened his human eyes and was only slightly surprised to be able to see clearly again.

The relief he felt at the possibility that this would work must have been evident because he heard Xander sigh in relief as well.

"More?"

Spike shook his head slowly and grinned when there was no dizziness or pain. "In a few hours, let this batch do its job first."

"Gotta tell you, Spike, I was a little worried there for a minute. Okay, not worried, scared. You were staring at me like I was next." Xander laughed nervously but tried to cover it by picking up the mug and taking it to the sink to wash. "But you look better. Much better. So, maybe we won't have to do any actual research or anything. And a day without research is… shit."

"Shit? Really? Like research that much, do you?" Spike was only half paying attention. He flexed his hand a felt a distantly remembered strength flow through it. He was definitely going to have to get Fazolli's address, he sold quality product.

"No. Willow. I saw her on my way to pick up the blood. We talked for a minute and I told her I'd be over later. I'm going to have to go or she's going to start wondering why I never brought you over yesterday and why I was over in that part of town today." He dried his hands on a dishtowel and walked over to the bag still sitting on the counter. After fishing around inside for a few seconds, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and an ashtray and put them on the table in front of Spike. "This is a 'because you're sick' kind of thing. Don't think this means you can smoke in my apartment once you're better."

Spike blinked up at the human in surprise, shocked into silence. He opened his mouth but nothing came out and he had the uncomfortable thought that now he owed this mortal something. Not for the cigarettes really but for what they represented. No one, demon or human, had ever gone out of their way like this for him.

"Yeah, I know, your tongue would burst into flames if you said, 'thank you, Xander'. Don't worry about it, you can let me win at pool a few times instead." He turned back to the counter and removed the last two items, purchased at the Quick-E-Mart around the corner. Instant hot chocolate and a bag of little marshmallows.

Spike felt tears gathering in his eyes when he saw that and he quickly shoved his chair back and stood. "Goin' to take a shower. That okay?" he asked bruskly.

"Yeah." Xander barely got the word out before Spike was semi-rushing out of the kitchen, still moving slower than normal, but much faster than he'd arrived in the kitchen 30 minutes earlier. "Huh. Guess human blood really does pack a punch." He shook his head at the amazing healing ability of vampires and wadded up the plastic bag.

Xander was on the telephone with Anya and so only caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye when Spike came out of the bathroom and went immediately in to the bedroom.

"I said I'd be over later and I will. I DO have other things to do besides just hang out at the store you know." Xander listened for a few seconds as Anya repeated her theme of the day; 'Xander, I know you don't have anything to do, I think you're just trying to punish me for being right.'

"For the third time; I am not playing some kind of relationship head game. I'm not trying to punish you and you weren’t right in the first place. Now, I will see you later and no, I'm not mad." He hung up the phone before she could protest. Sometimes he wondered how someone so old could be so dense.

Almost as soon as he'd limped back in to town with the rest of them and had to go the hospital for stitches, Anya had been harping on about how Xander wasn't the Slayer and shouldn't be helping with dangerous things. That it wasn't fair to make her wait around like a war bride and hope that he came home in one piece. When he'd pointed out that, maybe, he wouldn't get hurt as often if there was another person there to help, she'd simply said, "I'm not the Slayer either. And besides, I have a business to run."

The longer he was with Anya, the more he found they didn't have in common and he was beginning to get the feeling that Anya was becoming as frustrated with him as he was with her. Still, he wasn't ready to break it off with her just because they had a few issues and attitudes to work through.

Spike exited the bedroom wearing an old pair of Xander's sweats and Xander opened his mouth to object to the unauthorized clothing borrowing but closed it again when Spike gingerly lowered himself to the couch, clearly still not quite right. After a few seconds, the vampire picked up the television remote and began flipping from channel to channel but much slower than was his usual habit.

Xander joined him on the couch, remaining silent except for the occasional, 'hey, stop there a sec'.

Several hours, one seizure and five bags of blood later, Spike was zonked out on the bed again. The stress of the day had caused Xander to lay down for a nap with Spike after the vampire had fed the last time and he'd slept for nearly an hour. The blood did seem to be helping the vampire to heal. He looked much better and had only had the one seizure in nearly seven hours, even if it was a particularly brutal one that had left Spike unconscious for an hour.

Now Xander was patting himself down in anticipation of leaving the apartment. He'd left a note on the bed side table reminding Spike that he was going to the Magic Box and that he'd be back no later than 9:00. Xander figured that Spike would probably sleep the entire three hours he'd be gone, but didn't want to chance being gone any longer than that.

It had felt a little weird moving Spike's head off his shoulder and slipping carefully out of bed to change out of his shorts and t-shirt and into something more suitable for public consumption, but it had felt a lot weird when he'd gotten the urge to leave the vampire a note just on the off chance that Spike might wake up while he was gone or might have forgotten their earlier conversation.

He was really going to have to start curbing these 'caretaker' tendencies. He was sure it couldn't be very healthy for him to be this way and would somehow end up getting him in a lot of trouble one day.

Another drawback to wanting to help everyone with their problems was that you tended to end up with ex-demon girlfriends who needed to be taught how to be human again.

Xander thought he might actually be a little depressed by the time he pulled up in front of the Magic Box and climbed out of his car. The irony of realizing he might have an unhealthy need to take care of people because he was currently caring for a soulless, unrepentant, evil vampire was not lost on him.

He shook it off for now and pushed through the door of the store, bell tinkling annoyingly above him. "Well, I'm here now, the meeting can officially commence." He smiled when Willow looked up from her book and went to the table to join her. "Where's everyone else?"

"Oh, Giles and Anya are in the basement looking for something and Buffy's in the back room." Willow tipped the book she was reading so Xander could see the spine. "I finally pried it away from Giles long enough to take a good look. I think this is really going to be helpful."

Xander smiled and nodded. "Cool. So, what the what tonight?"

"Buffy spotted a Barkesh demon out by the old school last night so we're probably going to get a refresher course on them." Her eyes drifted back down to the book for a moment before jerking guiltily back up to Xander. "Sorry, it's just…"

"Hey, no problem. I know my charms are not equal to that of the written word. Go ahead and read if you want, I'll go see how Buffy's doing."

"You have charms. You do!" Willow protested.

"Willow, it's fine. Really. Read your book." Xander pushed back his chair and headed for the training room. He really wasn't mad about Willow preferring a book to him but it would have been nice to chat with her alone for a minutes. Sometimes he felt like he hadn't talked to his oldest friend in months even though he just had. It was just that they didn't get very much alone time anymore. It was a shame but he guessed that was just what happened when you grew up and got a life, even if was as strange as theirs.

Buffy was beating the snot out of her heavy bag when Xander entered the room. He skirted the edge of the room and went to sit on the mats stacked against the back wall. She didn't seem to notice him so intend on her workout was she. That was okay with him since it meant he had a rare chance to just watch her move without anything trying to kill him while he did it. It was a guilty pleasure to watch her really get into it and he leaned back on his elbows to partake.

After about fifteen minutes, she finally gave the bag a final hard kick and then stepped away, shaking out her arms and legs. "Were you ogling me, Xander?" She turned and put her hands on her hips, legs splayed.

"No. No ogling. I was just studying your superior fighting technique so that one day, I too can kick butt and defeat evil sand filled bags." He pushed himself up and walked over to join her.

"In other words, ogling." She nodded her head but grinned at his unrepentant shrug. "You just better hope Anya doesn't catch you." Buffy went to the counter and picked up a bottle of water, twisting the top off with one quick movement.

"Will said you saw some sort of demon over by the school?" Xander quickly changed the subject away from his jealous girlfriend since he really didn't want to talk about her right now.

"Yeah, but I don't think it was any big. It didn't seem to take any interest in the school, it was just near there. But, I reported it to Giles and Giles said we have to crack a few books to make sure those kind of demons don't have a tendency towards world domination or Hellmouth opening." She shrugged as if saying, 'what are you going to do, he's Giles'.

Xander grinned back in a moment of shared understanding and humor.

"Oh, there you are. Didn't Willow tell you I was in the basement?"

Xander groaned inwardly, not realizing until that moment that he'd been almost dreading seeing Anya. Outwardly, he smiled at her and nodded his head. "Yeah, but I figured since she didn't also say, 'and there's a big slimy monster trying to eat her' that I could safely talk to other people while you were busy."

Anya tilted her head as if she were trying to decide if Xander was being sarcastic or not. "Well, I'm not busy now so you can say hello to me."

"Hello, Anya." Xander dutifully replied.

Buffy's eyes went from Xander to Anya and back to Xander. She was so not getting in the middle of this. "I think I'll go see if Willow's found anything on our potential monster of the week." She slung a towel around her neck and slipped out the door.

"You are still angry with me."

"No, An, I'm not. We already talked about this and we're not going through it again."

"We can talk about it or not but you are angry with me, even if you don't know it."

Xander thought about that for a minute and nodded. "Maybe I am, yeah, but I still don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to do a little Scooby research and then go home."

"You're not coming over later?"

"No. I told you before, I really do have things to do. Work things."

Anya waved away his words. "You work construction. You can't do that at night. Are you cheating on me? Because if you are, I'd like to know now."

Xander gritted his teeth and repeated, "An, I'm one of the foreman for this job and I have paperwork to do and if you listened to me for half a second sometime, you'd know that. As a matter of fact, I really shouldn't have come here at all. Everything needs to be finished by tomorrow and I'm only half-way done. So, I'm going now."

Without waiting to see what she'd say, Xander headed for the door at the back of the training room and pushed through it out in to the alley. Some of what he'd said was true; he did have paperwork he had to do for the job. But what was left would take an hour at most and it wasn't really due until day after tomorrow, Monday, when they entered the next stage of construction. He was just getting so tired of her constant demands to be the center of his attention all the time. And was it really too much of him to ask that she actually keep up with his career advancement, such as it was?

By the time he pulled in to his semi-assigned spot in front of his apartment building, he was definitely feeling depressed. Since the giant snake graduation event, too many things seemed to be changing, and not in the good way. There were distances between everyone that shouldn't be there, there were thoughts that had no place in his brain and a general dissatisfaction that went far beyond just his current problem with Anya.

Sure he'd moved out of his parent's basement, he had a really good job that he enjoyed and money to spend. Then there was the gorgeous girlfriend and almost more sex than he could handle. No one had been killed and they were still the defeaters of evil on a regular basis. All of the good. Right?

But weren't things supposed to be more… more….

More what, you ungrateful prick?

His mental voice sounded uncomfortably like a certain undead acquaintance and shocked him out of his inaction. Xander got out of his car and glanced up at his apartment window. There was a light on in the living room that he hadn't left on. Spike must be awake then.

Spike heard the footsteps in the hall and clicked off the television, slightly surprised that Xander was back so soon. He'd awakened soon after the other man left and had just finished his first glass of blood, having sipped it so slowly that it was almost cold by the time he got to the last of it.

By the time the human had closed and locked the door behind him, Spike could see by the slight slump of shoulders and total absence of his usually immediate chatter, that there was something wrong.

"Hey. Feeling any better?" Xander threw his keys on the kitchen counter and removed his light jacket, slinging it over one of the bar stools.

"Passably good. Was just thinking 'bout getting up for more." He held up his empty mug.

"Well don't let me stop you." Xander went over to the dining room table and sat down, flipping open a manila folder that Spike hadn't even noticed before this. "I have some work to do so a little quiet would be nice."

Spike's eyebrow rose as he stared at the man at the table as he unfolded a large section of paper and started comparing it to something on another piece of paper. Xander was actually serious! "Didn't get enough studyin' with yer mates?"

"This is for work. You can turn on the T.V. if you want, just keep the sound low, okay?" Xander never looked up from the papers on the table.

Now Spike was sure there was something going on but he really wasn't up to his usual style of manipulation to find the answers. He spent the next few minutes watching Xander before heaving himself off the couch and joining the mortal at the table. "So, what'cha doin'?"

"Gotta make sure we have enough materials on hand or on order to finish up." He swirled the large piece of paper to face Spike. "See, I'm in charge of this building and I have to match what's planned," He tapped the blueprints with one finger, "with what's in inventory or on order." He indicated the list in front of him. "That way we never have to stop to wait for materials and Xander gets a nice big bonus for finishing on schedule."

"You, in charge of somethin'? Doesn't that mean the apocalypse is coming?" He heard the humor in his voice which had appeared totally against his will. "What're you buildin', anyway?"

"Some kick-ass condo's. But I'm only the foreman on the condo offices. Less to mess up with that."

For some reason, Xander's self-depreciation bothered Spike. "Gotta start somewhere, don't you? So, what's so kick-ass about this place?"

Xander suddenly became much more animated, previous doldrums apparently forgotten in the face of discussing manly things like hammers and nails. "It'll be a real small complex, only four buildings with four units in each and an office. They'll be pretty high-end, two and three bedroom units with lots of square feet, expensive marble counters, hand-made tile and built-ins. And stuff like every unit having a huge whirlpool tub in the master bathroom, plus a shower, and a shower with no tub downstairs."

Strangely, Spike didn't feel his eyes glazing over as they usually did when one of the do-gooders started on about something. Maybe it was just Xander's enthusiasm for his job or maybe it was his earlier realization that he owed something to this human, but Spike nodded carefully to show he was listening and asked for more details about being foreman for the building of the condo office.