"Come on." Angel descended the staircase of the Hyperion, calling out to Spike as he went.
"What?" Spike looked up from his position leaning back against the desk.
"I said come on. Grab your duster. We're going out."
"For a drive."
"Because, isn't an answer Peaches."
Angel sighed at Spike's stubbornness. Couldn't he just be reasonable and do what he's told for once in his unlife? "Because, you need to cool off. You've been stomping around the lobby for hours. Some fresh air will do you good."
"Yeah, 'cause we all know how vital fresh air is for a vampire's health."
Angel didn't even bother to deign that comment with a reply. He just gave his best sire-like gaze. That usually did the trick.
"Fine. I'm coming." Spike said, trying to sound as inconvenienced as he could. He grabbed his duster from the back of one of the lobby couches and stormed out the door.
Both vampires climbed into Angel's black convertible, Spike slamming the passenger door as hard as he could without actually causing any damage (at least none that couldn't be fixed at a reasonable price). Angel started the car, pulled out of the driveway and on to the road.
Spike pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his duster pocket, put one in his mouth, and went to light it.
"No smoking in my car, Spike."
"What! It's a bleeding convertible. It's not as if I'm going to contaminate your precious fresh air with the smoke." Spike was dying for a smoke. It always calmed his nerves when he was in a foul mood.
"You might get ash on the seats." Spike just stared at Angel. He would have pouted but it was a bit difficult with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Besides, Angel was too busy watching the road to have appreciated the effort. "I said no smoking Spike. Put it away."
"Fine!" Spike put the unlit cigarette back in the packet. "Never did understand you getting a convertible anyway."
"Why do people keep saying that? It's not as if I drive it during the day." Angel must have heard that comment a dozen times by now; he was getting really sick of it. He loved his car; all black and shiny... it hurt when people questioned it.
"No I didn't mean the whole sunshine, vamp dust thing. I meant your hair, gel boy. You would actually risk getting a hair out of place by driving in a convertible with the top down?" This was the best bit about visiting Angel. He had been so busy being pissed at Xander, he hadn't had much of a chance to make fun of old Broody-Britches yet.
"Gel boy! I would ask if you've looked at yourself in a mirror lately but...obviously not. I think we're going to have to change our names to pot and kettle here, so why don't we just change the subject instead?"
"Fine by me."
"So..." There was a subject that Angel wanted to broach but he knew how Spike would react.
"So, do you want to..."
"You didn't even let me finish what I was going to say."
"Didn't need to. I know what you were going to say, and the answer is no."
"Come on. You've been giving Xander the silent treatment the whole time you've been here. It's not much of a visit if you two spend the whole time mad at each other. You don't want to talk about why?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"It doesn't matter. He just did something that really upset me, so now I'm pissed at him. That's about the gist." Spike really did not want to talk about this with Angel. He just would *not* get it.
"What did he do?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Don't change the subject."
"I'm not. I just wanna know if we're there yet?"
"Does it look like we're there yet? You'll know when we're there, by the fact that the vehicle will have stopped moving. And you are so trying to change the subject."
"You stopped at that light back there, and we weren't there yet." Spike indicated behind the car trying desperately not to smirk.
"You're incorrigible, you know that?"
"Yep, but that's why you love me, right Gramps?" This time Spike couldn't keep the smirk off his face.
"Don't call me gramps, I don't love you and quit trying to change the subject."
"Ugh, you wound me." Spike put his hand over his heart, closed his eyes and flopped his head to the side in fake injury. He opened his eyes and looked up again at Angel, sudden confusion on his face. "Where are we going anyway?"
"We're just going for a drive."
"No. You said I would know we were there when the vehicle stopped moving, which means we are going somewhere. So where are we going?"
Dammit, the one time Spike actually pays attention to anything anybody says. "I thought we could go for a drink."
"Oh." That actually sounded pretty good to Spike. "Okay then."
"I'm not going through this again Spike. Just tell me." Angel was seriously beginning to regret asking in the first place, but he had to admit that he was getting curious. "Think of it this way: if you don't tell me I will hound you and hound you, until you get so sick of me you will want to stake yourself just so the torment will end."
"Jeez, Peaches if I knew you were that determined, all you had to do was ask." Spike tried to look as innocent as possible. Not a look he was very good at.
"Okay, okay." Spiked sighed heavily then started to speak. "XandertapedovermyvideooftheSexPistolswiththeTellytubbies." Spike blurted it out as fast as he could. He just knew Angel wouldn't understand the severity of the situation.
"Xander taped over a video of the Sex Pistols?"
"Wow, I have to say man, I'm impressed."
"I've perfected the technique of listening to quickspeak from when Cordy's dipped into the company checking account to buy shoes. So let me get this straight. Xander taped over one of your Sex Pistols videos?"
"One of your collection of about three dozen Sex Pistols videos?"
"With the Tellytubbies?"
"Stupid kids show. Almost makes me ashamed to be English. Xander has a bit of a fascination with Tinky Winky. He can't understand why a guy would want to carry a handbag. I keep trying to tell him, it's a bloody kids TV character, but he just won't let it go."
"Tinky Winky's the purple one right?" Angel just suddenly realised that he'd admitted to watching the Tellytubbies. He took his eyes off the road for a moment to see Spike's expression. He didn't think he had ever seen Spike raise his eyebrows quite that far before. "Ummm, lets just pretend I didn't say that, okay?"
"So Xander taped over one of your videos accidentally. Is it really that catastrophic? You have copies made of most of them though, don't you? Is this really worth three days of silent treatment?"
"I never said it was accidental."
"Well, was it?"
"Yes. But that's not the point. That tape had sentimental value." Spike tried not to sound whiney, but he couldn't help it. That video had been his 12th favourite. "I told you, you wouldn't understand. Knew you'd take his side over mine." Spike faced away from Angel, folded his arms over his chest and sulked.
Angel was beginning to develop a newfound respect for Xander. He knew from years of experience the kind of exasperation Spike could induce. Thank God we're nearly there, Angel thought.
Angel pulled over to the side of the road, parked and got out of the car. Spike followed him inside the bar.
"Caritas? What kind of a name is that for a bar?" Spike asked as they descended the staircase into the establishment. Once at the bottom, he came face to face with a tall green demon with red horns and what seemed like a fondness for red lipstick.
"Well personally honey, I think it's a fabulous name. But then I'm biased." Okay, Spike thought, looking the guy over from horny head to expensively clad toe, could this guy get any campier?
"So Angel, this him?" The demon asked, indicating Spike with a flick of his head.
"Yep, that's him. Lorne meet Spike. Spike, Lorne."
"Well aren't you just the cutest vamp on earth? I have to say I love the hair. In fact the whole ensemble is very retro. I love it!"
"Angel, who the hell is this guy, and could you tell him to get the hell out of my face before I get real retro, and go find my lucky spike?"
"I told you, this is Lorne. This is his place, and be nice."
"Yeah, great. So are we here to drink or what?"
"Ooo, aren't you the feisty little thing. You have just got to sing for me before you leave."
"Yeah. Lorne is a seer, kinda like Cordy. He can read your future, see your destiny, but only if you sing."
"Oh no. I am not singing. No way!" Spike started to slowly back away towards the exit, his hands up in front of him in a defensive pose.
"Don't worry blondie, you don't have to if you don't want to. But just you be sure and let me know if you change your mind. Come on I have a couple of seats reserved right up front, just for you."
Lorne made his way through the crowd to a table nearer the stage. Now that Spike was paying a bit more attention to the room he could see a wide collection of different demons scattered all over the place, as well as quite a number of humans. He could also now see (and hear unfortunately) the Morlok demon up on stage, murdering the hell out of 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion. Not that Spike listened to that crap.
"So fellas what can I get you?"
"Scotch. Neat. Good stuff, since Soul Boy here is buying." He might as well take advantage of the situation while he could.
"I like a man who knows what he wants. How 'bout you Angel?"
"I'll have the same. Thanks Lorne."
A short while later, he returned with their drinks and set them on the table. Spike just stared at his, the rest of the room holding no interest for him. He just wanted to sit there and fume.
"So boys, I hope you're going to enjoy tonight's entertainment." Angel and Lorne shared a knowing smile. Spike just ignored him and continued staring at his drink.
"Well, aren't you the talkative one honey? Never you mind, I have a feeling things might be looking up." With that he left their table and walked up on stage, where the Morlok had thankfully finished his rendition. Angel's vampire-hearing rejoiced.
"Okay, ladies and gentlemen and all those in between. We have a wonderful singer here to entertain us next, and he has a special someone out there in the crowd that he wants to apologise to."
Spike quickly looked up from his drink, it no longer holding the fascination it once did, to the Kermit wannabe at the mic. He looked over at his grandsire and the amused smile on his face. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is?" Angel's smile just got larger.
"So come on people, put your hands, claws and tentacles together..."
"Please don't let it be.."
"and give it up for...
Spike just let his head drop, his forehead banging against the table almost tipping over his drink. He just let it lie there hoping that when he looked up again, he would find himself back home, or in hell. Either way it had to be better than the blinding humiliation that he felt sure was to follow. From his position face down on the table, he could hear a very familiar voice take the mic.
"Hi... um everyone. Okay, my name is Xander, and I wanted to apologize to someone very dear to me, who is here tonight. I figured what better way to say I love you, than to completely embarrass and humiliate yourself in front of a bunch of demonic strangers, for their benefit." There was a light sporadic chuckling from the crowd.
"Spike, baby, this one's for you." Spike felt the back of his neck get warmer suddenly. He looked up, only to find a spotlight on him, and a room full of humans and demons staring, smiling in his direction. He looked over at Angel with as much vehemence and seething hated as he could possibly muster, only to find him visibly trying to restrain his laughter.
"You set me up, you bugger. I hate you!" That did it for Angel. He couldn't keep the laughter contained any longer. Tears started rolling down his cheeks.
Spike heard the music starting and for the first time he looked over at his boyfriend on the stage. Xander was staring intently at Spike, ignoring everybody else in the room. He leaned into the mic and said "I love you Spike." Then he started to sing.
/ Why do birds suddenly appear
The Carpenters! Xander is singing me The Carpenters. I have known that man for 8 years now, 3 of them as my boyfriend, and I have never heard him sing. Thank heaven for small mercies, Spike thought. He tried not to wince at Xander's efforts. It's just as well he has a good construction job, Spike thought. He couldn't make a living at this. He sounds like that Trasker Demon I killed a couple of months ago when I accidentally hacked off his privates.
/ Why do stars fall down from the sky
Yeah buddy I know you wanna be close to me. Not gonna happen though. No sireee. Teach you to tape over my stuff. I hope he doesn't think this is gonna win me over or anything.
Through his string of thoughts Spike never took his eyes off Xander on the stage. Okay so the guy can't sing, but he does look very nummy up there.
/ On the day that you were turned,
Well he's put a bit of thought into this at least. That's kinda sweet. Spike realised the way his thoughts were going. No! It's not sweet. It's very annoying. He's very annoying. I am *not* forgiving him!
/ That is why all the girls..um guys in town
He is trying really hard though. His singing makes my skin crawl, but you have to give him points for effort. Maybe I was a little bit harsh on him.
/ On the day that you were turned,
Spike sighed. Maybe they could build a little stage in their apartment. They could buy a karaoke machine and Xander could sing to him anytime he wanted. They could just put the mic on low so it wouldn't be too loud. Spike just wanted to stare at his boyfriend on stage. He looks so sexy and adorable up there. Spike brought himself out of his thoughts again. No! I am *not* forgiving him. Nope, no siree Bob. He did something wrong and he should be punished.
/ That is why all the guys in town
The song finished. The room was deathly silent but neither Spike nor Xander noticed. Never breaking eye contact, Xander climbed down off the stage and walked over to Spike.
Stay strong. Don't forgive. Stay strong. Don't forgive. Spike repeated this mantra to himself over and over as Xander approached. Everyone was waiting with baited breath.
Once the two lovers were face-to-face, Xander spoke. "Do you forgive me?"
"No." That's it stay strong. Don't give in.
"Please." Xander pleaded. That did it for Spike. Xander looked so heartbroken and forlorn. He suddenly had the urge to make him feel better with lots of naughty activities that involved a feather, a bottle of maple syrup, some very revealing, tight leather buttless chaps and a roll of very strong adhesive tape.
"Ooooh, okay then. But you have to buy me something pretty." The immense grin that Spike received was really enough though. All the anger and resentment just melted away.
Xander swept his boyfriend up in a passionate kiss. An adoring, intense, wet, soppy, powerful kiss. The kind that seemed to last for days and made your toes curl. The kind of epic kiss that really should come with orchestral accompaniment.
The room erupted into an onslaught of clapping and catcalls and whistling. Not the least of which was coming from the vampire at the same table, now on his feet cheering and clapping 'til his hands hurt.
Eventually the kiss ended and room became silent again. The couple still remained oblivious to it all. They stood there in a lose embrace, foreheads touching.
"I love you, Spike."
"Love you too, Xander."
"You really forgive me then?"
"Yes, I forgive you."
"Good. So would this be a good time to tell you what happened to your Billy Idol doll?"