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Season One | Season Two | Season Three | Season Four | Season Five North By North Quahog Air Date: Sunday 1st May 2005 Description: The spark in Peter and Lois's marriage is gone and to spice things back up, Peter suggests they take a second honeymoon, leaving behind Brian to take care of this kids. The Spice Is Gone: While having sex to "christen" the new sheets Lois bought, she chants out "George" meaning well known actor George Clooney, an angry and disturbed Peter suggests, once Lois mentions how hot their honeymoon was, to take a second. On the way to the hotel, Peter crashes the car into a tree... this later leads them to sneak into Mel Gibson's suite at a new hotel in Manhatten, one that doesn't allow Asian people inside. However, this leaves Lois to chant out Mel's name during sex. Peter states, he believes the spark in their marriage is gone until they accidently sneak a look into the Passion of the Christ 2. They steal it, leading into a chase. Lois is kidnapped by Mel Gibson, Peter acting the hero goes to save her. They soon escape Mel and have sex on Mount Rushmore on George Washington's Head. The Odd Couple: With Peter and Lois gone, Brian is left incharge of the children however he is unable to handle them alone and Stewie insists on helping, providing Brian cleans his "poopie". They act like the typical married family, Stewie being the wife. They saborone Chris's school dance, in replacement of Lois, where Chris and friends are found drinking vodka in the school toilets. Chris, who didn't have a drop, stated Jake Tucker, Tom Tucker's upside-down faced son, gave it to him. Brian and Stewie go round to the Tucker's to sort this out but no punishment is settled by Tom, so to get back of him Stewie suggusts planting drugs in his locker. References When Brian walks in and asks what Peter is watching, he reponds with saying Passion of the Christ (2004). Lois chants out both George Clooney and Mel Gibson's names during sex with Peter. While in bed, Stewie is knitting a "Die Lois Die" piece. This is a reference to the movie Cape Fear (1991) When found with drink in the bathroom, G.I Joe appears to set the boys right, telling them drinking is wrong. Peter and Lois have sex ontop of American's most famous monument, Mount Rushmore which was made to celebrate the first 150 years of the countrie's history George Washington suggusts that Abraham Lincoln looks like the well known fictional monster Frankenstein Fast Time At Buddy Cianci Jr. High Air Date: Sunday 8th May 2005 Description: Once Chris's English teacher (who I found sounded oddly like Nichelle Nichols of the Star Trek fame) wins the lottery, she is replaced by Mrs. Lockhart (voiced by Drew Barrymore), Chris instantly falls in love with her. Meanwhile, Brian becomes a substitute teacher at the same school. Substitute To Kill: Once Chris's teacher leaves, she is first replaced by Brian, who becomes a subsitute, until he is later replaced by Mrs. Lockheart. Chris tries his hardest to please her which is a concern to Lois, who confronts the teacher about it along with Peter. But, she uses this to her advantage and tries to get Chris to kill her husband, who she is trying to kill. He doesn't go ahead and do so in the end and instead gets a bear to do it, who she later runs off with. Chris a Killer?: Lois, while doing some washing, finds a note which falls out of Chris's pocket and reads it, seeing what plans Mrs. Lockheart had instore for him. When, discovering it on the news, the family instantly expect Chris of the crime. Being a mother, she sorts out the body. However, they all find out, after a while, who the real killers were. Brian The Substitute: Adviced he should become one, he takes the offer. He doesn't find his real challenge until he is resigned to the remedial english course where he meets a group of confused kids with different low social problems. Trying as hard as he can, he tells them, in the end, they can do whatever they wish to do... even if it involues becoming a prositute or working as a hotel maid. References The episode title is a pun of the movie Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982) When Mr. Lockheart is thrown into the water, there are two fish which look like Klaus from American Dad In a cut away gag, with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, they furtherly joke upon Ben actually writting the script and that the work was completely done by Matt. This being for the movie Good Will Hunting (1997) Peter mentions he once met Ted Danson who was with his then girlfriend, now wife, Mary Steenburgen Stewie offers Brian the idea of doing "The Robot" to get through to the kids his teaching. The robot being a dance move which became highly popular during the 80s. Its is also known to be called "Mannequin". Blind Ambition Air Date: Sunday 15th May 2005 Description: In an attemped to be remembered, Peter tries to set a World Record for the most amount of coins eaten, however as a result, he becomes blinded. Giggitty, Gigitty, Opps: In the beginning of this episode, Quagmire is finally spotted, watching over Lois going a toilet in the bowling alley. Loretta, Lois and Bonnie send a petition to the concil to have Quagmire removed from the street however Peter, Joe and Cleveland promise to control his sexual needs. He is later rewarded for saving a womans live through CPR, even though he didn't know what it was. Rewarded Friends: Mort Goldman scores the perfect game, Quagmire saves a womans live, Joe wins tons of awards for catching crooks and Cleveland was once a good. However, Peter feels he is the only one that's not going to be remembered once he is gone. Once hearing that a formal world record breaker has died, Horis suggusts Peter should try to break a world record, providing the fact he already ain't his tip. This causes Peter to become blind. When depressed, Peter goes to the Drunkern Clam for a drink but, since his blind, doesn't know it was on fire, saves Horis from the blaze and gets his eyesight back thanks to a dead drifter. He is rewarded and satified. Note: This episode marks the return of Joe Swanson, Glenn Quagmire, Cleveland Brown, Mort Goldman, Bonnie Swanson and Loretta Brown, God, Horis and the Giant Chicken. References When Peter is rewarded at the end of the episode, it's a clear Parody of the end of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977) The end title theme is done in the infamouse Star Wars fashion, complete with music. The end even features well known characters C-3PO, R2-D2 and Chewbacca. The mugshot of Quagmire is the same as Huge Grant's when he was arrested in 1995 for picking up a prostitude. It even contains the same number. The Giant Chicken returns to fight Peter. The first appeared in the Season Two episode "Da Boom". This time, durings Peter's fight with the Giant Chicken, when a ship destroys buildings at the Quahog Harbor, it's from the movie Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) When the chicken is taken out by the plane's propellors, it's a parody from the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) Don't Make Me Over Air Date: Sunday 5th June 2005 Description: She asks out a crush at her school, Craig Hoffman, but he turns her down, when looking for support from her family, Lois insists on a shopping trip, to cheer her up, however while browsing, they bump into Tricia Takanawa who is looking for an ugly person to make over, Meg takes it and becomes a beautiful blonde haired girl. Meanwhile, the Drunkern Clam is going out of business and Peter and the guys offer to help bring in the crowds again. After several amounts of attempts, Quagmire finds a Karokee Machine, which they sing a song which gives Peter the idea to start a band with his friends. However, when performing live infront of an prison inmates audience they discover they don't know how to play any music, they are helped by their family and Jimmy Iovine, who is in prison for killing a cat, signs them on... to become the band "Meg". This all gets to her head and the final straw is when a opening gag on Saturday Night Live goes wrong, where she looses her viginity. She goes back to her normal self, not being able to handle being beautiful. Notes: The working title for the episode was "Extreme Makeover: Meg Edition" which is a reference to television programme Extreme Makeover. References: The title of the episode is also the name of a Dionne Warwick song. Joe stats that most of the themes failed, including the Coyote Ugly theme, the guys all dance on the table like in the movie. Should be noted that Alex Bostien is actually in the movie aswell, but not credited. In the band with his friends, Peter's outfit is of that of the revolutionary band Devo of the early 70s... and they wore his clothing in a video in 1981. The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire Air Date: Sunday 12th June 2005 Description: Peter invites his friends on his boat, however things between Loretta Brown and Quagmire get steamy, as later on Peter and Brian find them having sex in Clevelands house (They don't know who with by notice a tatoo on his behind). At first they don't state what happens as of that point they don't know who it is. Facing the problem of his marriage, it's shown that Cleveland is weak and can't express anger, he is kicked out by Loretta and lives with the Griffins, still unbeknown of whom Loretta was with, Peter and Brian goes over to Quagmires, where they see the tatoo... Peter promises he willn't tell Cleveland but straight away does, however Cleveland doesn't express any anger from this. Peter tries his hardest to get it out of him, but only does when he puts on a Quagmire mask, and puts a Loretta one on Brian, that he finally blows. In the end, however, he can't even face to kill his friend Quagmire and his marriage with Loretta is over. Notes: This episode is meant to be a lampoons of Desperate Housewives and the working title was a parody of the show, which was "Desperate People". This episode went forward because they wanted to get rid of Loretta, so this can open new things for Cleveland. Petarded Air Date: Sunday 19th June 2005 Description: On a game night among most of their friends in the Griffin house, Peter wins a game of Trivial Pursuit, not knowing that Lois switched the cards to the pre-school set. After that point, he believes he is smart and talks down upon his family until Brian tells him, if he thinks he is so smart, he should take a test to prove it. However, the test proves the opposite, Peter is actually retarded. When Lois is in a body cast after chip fat lands over her, the kids are taken away and spend time with Cleveland as a foster parent. Peter tries his best to get them back, even by putitng 7 prosititues in Cleveland's house. All ends fine when it seems like it can't. Lois walks through the door with the kids, having everything back to normal only the pure fact Peter is too retarded to deal with the kids without Lois. Notes: The episode title is a Portmanteau of the words "Peter" and "Retarded", but it also contains the world petard, which means "to be hoisted by your own" The episode was written by Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. The episode was directed by Seth Kearsley. References: The games the group are playing are Twister, Monopoly which is a reference to many different kinds, this one called Civil Rights Movement, Paint Balling but with real guns with real bullets and Trivial Pursuit. When Quagmire gets shot in the foot by Peter, he says not worry, your not doing as bad as Peter Weller from the opening scene of RoboCop (1987) While trying to say the word "What" during the Trivial Pursuit game, he repeats Fantastic 4 a few times. Also, he says "This one seperates the men from the boys" is a line from one of John Wayne's films. In a cut away gag, Timer, "the Cheese Guy", offers Peter a Wagon Wheel We learn that Lois is growing a Brain Tumour that looks like Peter. He sings "I'm a tumour, I'm a tumour" in the style of the chorus from Falco's Rock Me Amadeus. She has this growing because she is epressing the realization that Peter is her husband. On the wall in the kitchen is the Thermostat, which is a reference to the first episode. The citizens of Quahog sing the song "Peter's Retarded". It's from the movie Bye Bye Birdie (1963) and in the tune of the one of the songs called "The Telephone Hour". Stewie done an iPod advert we learn. It's a reference to the popular iPod Silhouette Commercials. Counting the prosititutes in Cleveland's house is done in the style of Sesame Street Stewie lets out his concern for Geena Davis while sharing a bed with Chris. Showing his more caring side, though he still makes a small bitchy remark about her teeth and gums. After Lois is burnt with grease, Peter compares Lois to Rocky Dennis from Mask (1985) Peter and Brian are watching an episode of Jake and the Fat Man Brian The Bachelor Air Date: Sunday 26th June 2005 Description: The Bachelorette is coming to Quahog and Cleveland, forced by friends and Peter, audition, however it's Brian who ends up getting in the show, despite not liking the "fakeness" of reality television. He, originally, agrees for the free drinks but soon falls in love with the reality starlet, Brooke. After giving the rose, which is what they do when they want the person to stay in the show, it comes between Brian and Quagmire.... however she chooses Brian, but he finds out it's not what he hoped but more of what he thought, it all being a big fake. Meanwhile Chris and his talking zit, Doug, cause mischief around town and forcing Chris to do things he shouldn't. Brian continues trying to bother Brooke and right after she tells him once and for all, Chris manages to get rid of Doug with cortisone, after a short fight. Notes: Brooke Roberts is also the name of one of the people on the Family Guy staff. References: The episode is a parody of ABC's reality show The Bachelorette Doug's first line is "Feed Me" which is like Audrey II's from Little Shop Of Horror (1986). The sub-plot is also a reminiscent of the same film and How To Get Ahead In Advertising (1989) When Mort throws coffee over Peter, it's a direct parody of the final scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) There's a Snorks gag, stating they have... "dickheads" Brian sings a few lines from a Tom Jones song, "At This Moment" After Brian rejects getting on a donkey, Prince Adam appears, turns the donkey into Battle-Cat and himself into He-Man, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Chris sprays on a brick wall "That's Enough, John Mayer" When Herbert uses a ladder to spy on Chris throw a window, it's a parody of the film Animal House (1978) The Hot Spot, a club Peter, Cleveland and the guys go into is a reference to the film The Hot Spot (1990). A sign outside reads "Not Affiliated With The Don Johnson Movie", who was one of the actors in the movie. Lois was a "Plaster Caster" during the 80s and once made a sculpture of Darly Hall's pride and joy, but not John Oates'... though she said she would. These being of the band Hall & Oaks

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