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The Life Of A Shitbag

<Font size=7><align=CENTER>The Life Of A Shitbag</align></font>

Chapter 1

There once was a man and a woman who decided to make love. When they made love they experimented... ALOT. They used items such as; plungers, door knobs, chair legs, animals, food, musical instruments, high and low voltages, and many other things to long to list. Well after a while they got sick of using just objects so they moved on to various fetishes. Then the woman one day found out she was pregnant, and both decided it was best to stop having sex for the health of the baby. After about 8 months of masturbating they both just said "FUCK IT I NEEEED SEX." SO then they both stripped down and jumped into bed and fucked each others brains out like you would never belive. The next day the woman started having contractions and the man drove her to the hospital. After about 39 and 1/2 hours of intense labor the woman finnaly gave birth.

Chapter 2

As the new parents sat there waiting paitiently to see thier new born son they talked about how excted they were. Then the doctor walked in with a worried look on his face and both the man and woman sudenly got sick to thier stomachs. The doctor cleared his throat and reluctantly asked "Did you happen to have sexual intercourse at any time during the pregnancy?" The new parents looked at each other then looked at the doctor and without saying a word, they just shook thier heads while the man was holding up his index finger to represent that one night of amazingly hot jungle sex. The doctor replied "On that note YOUR FUCING RETARDED, now your newborn son is going to be stuck with a disability for the rest of his life!" The parents returned with "How bad is it?" The Doc replied "Well not its not that extreme due to being such an early stage and how small your cock is, we will be able to do some minor repairs" "But he will never be able to talk right, clean, unless its taking out trash, make a rack, lock shit up properly, or be organized in anyway possible" "So Basicaly your son will be the biggest shit bag on this or any other planet for the existence of man"


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