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Church of England
Funerals
Burial and
interment of ashes in Seal Churchyard
I am very happy to conduct funerals either in
Seal Church or at a crematorium or municipal cemetery. You don't
need to be a regular churchgoer to have a Christian funeral, and
my aim will be to tailor the service so that it reflects your
wishes. You can find out more about Church of England
funerals here.
THE FIRST STEPS
The first step
in arranging a funeral will be to choose a funeral director.
They will normally contact me directly, and I will then
arrange to meet with you.
There are many
people involved in the arrangements for a funeral service –
the minister, funeral director and crematorium or gravedigger
must all be available. The funeral directors will sort out
these arrangements for you and you should keep in close
contact with them as you plan.
BURIAL AT SEAL
Space is
limited in the churchyard at Seal. Unless they are to be
buried in an existing grave (for example with a spouse already
buried here) we can therefore only bury people who have a
legal entitlement to burial here. This is limited to those who
live in the ecclesiastical (not the civil) parish of Seal at
the time of their death and those who are on our electoral
(church membership) roll at the time of their death. I cannot make any exceptions to this
rule.
INTERMENT OF ASHES
I can inter
ashes of those who lived outside the parish, however and will
normally be happy to do so. There are more details available here
about burial at Seal (also available as a leaflet in church).
I am very
happy to arrange the service according to the wishes of the
family as far as possible, but please wait until I have met
you to make firm arrangements, as there may be limitations of
which you are unaware. For example, the choir won’t be
available on weekdays, and organists may not have a piece of
music you want in their repertoire. There is a strict time
limit for services at the crematorium of 35 minutes
which we cannot exceed (The time slot is usually 45 minutes,
but we need to allow time at the beginning and end to get the
congregation in and out)
GRAVESTONES
Burials (including those of ashes) can be marked with
a stone, but there are rules concerning the type of memorial
and how it is cared for which must be adhered to. These can
be found in the church porch, or at this weblink.
Please ask the priest for more details if you would like to
discuss this. It is important that you understand these
restrictions BEFORE the burial takes place.
A
SUGGESTED OUTLINE OF THE SERVICE
Funerals vary
immensely, but the pattern below is a common one which flows
well.
Welcome and
opening prayers
(Hymn – hymns are
optional but I have indicated the places where they might
come if you choose to have some. Most people have two or
three hymns, one at the beginning and one before the
committal if there are two, and one somewhere in the middle
if there are three.)
Brief
tribute/s from
family member/s
Psalm 23 -The Lord is my Shepherd or another
Psalm to say together.
Bible
(Hymn)
Address
(Hymn)
Prayers and the Lord’s Prayer
(Hymn)
Final
prayers and
blessing
HYMNS
The service
need not include hymns at all. In the crematorium there will
only be time for two or three hymns. A church service can
include more but need not do so. There
is no choir to lead the singing, so please bear that in mind
when you choose hymns - it is better if they are well known.
RECORDED MUSIC
I am normally
happy to include recorded music, but check with me first that
it will be suitable. For a service in church I will need CDs
or MP3 files in advance so that I can check that they are
compatible with our sound system. Please make absolutely clear
which track is to be played. Recorded music can be played in
place of hymns or in addition to them. There can be music at
the beginning and end of the service or during it to provide
time for reflection.
READINGS
The funeral
will contain at least one Bible reading. You can choose this,
or I can choose it for you. If you would like help or advice,
please ask. There are some suggestions
here.
I am happy to
include readings from other sources, but please check with me
first that they are suitable and provide me with a copy of the
reading so that I can incorporate it into what I say in the
rest of the service.
THE BEGINNING AND END OF THE SERVICE
At the end of
the service I will leave first, and the funeral directors will
then usher the immediate family out, followed by the rest of
the guests.
FAMILY MEMBERS TAKING PART IN THE SERVICE
I am very happy for family members and friends to take part in
the service. They can read Bible readings (or other readings)
or give a brief tribute or personal memory at the beginning of
the service. Tributes should be kept short – a few thoughts
are enough.
If you would like a family member
to give the address I will normally be happy to agree. At the
crematorium it is VERY important, however, that the address
does not last more than about 5 minutes as there are strict
time limits for services there – if an address runs over time
I will have to cut out later parts of the service. The address
can be longer in church, but most congregations do not listen
well for more than 10 minutes. If
you are writing an address 1700 words is a sensible limit. I
would appreciate it if the person giving the address could
contact me in advance of the funeral so that I know what they
plan to say. If a family member gives the address I will
normally also add some thoughts and reflections of my own as
well.
Nerves!
While I hope
that these notes will help you to feel that you can take as
much part as you want to in
planning a service that reflects your loved one who has died,
please do not feel that you have to make lots of decisions
about this. You can choose as much or as little of the service
as you like – if you prefer to leave decisions to me, and for
me to conduct the whole service that is quite in order (and
quite common).
A PRAYER FOR TIMES OF SORROW
Loving Lord, help me to place (N.) into your hands, for you know and love him/her as your child. Be with me in the dark times of grief and walk beside me in the paths of sorrow. Amen