GETTING
MARRIED
AT ST PETER AND ST PAUL, SEAL
- at
least one of you must live within the parish boundaries. We will tell
you where these are when you first enquire about getting married.
Or
- at
least one of you must be on our electoral roll. This is the
church membership roll, and to join it you must worship with us
regularly for at least six months. If you meet these criteria I can
marry you after calling your banns (see below).
Or
- you
have a “qualifying connection” as defined by the Marriage Act which
comes into force on Oct 1st 2008. This means that you were
baptised or confirmed in the parish, or that you or your parents have
lived here for at least 6 months or worshipped regularly here for 6
months at some point, or that your parents or grandparents were married
here. Evidence may be required to support these qualifications or you
may be required to make a sworn statement.
If
you can’t meet these criteria, you may be able to be married by
“Special licence”, which is granted by the Archbishop of Canterbury .
However this licence costs more and is more complicated to arrange.
Licences are only granted under certain conditions. You will need to
contact me to discuss this.
top of page...
WHAT IF I HAVE BEEN
MARRIED BEFORE?
Under
certain circumstances I will conduct marriages of those who have been
divorced.
However,
the issue of re-marriage is a complex and delicate one, affecting not
only you but also the wider community, especially the members of your
first family, so I will need to talk carefully to you both about this.
The final decision rests with me.
The
process I will follow is this;
- When
you first phone to ask about getting married, I will send you a letter
outlining broadly the kinds of issues I will need to talk and think
about before I make the decision. You can read and download this letter
here if
you prefer.
- If
you feel you want to take things further you should then contact me to
arrange a meeting.
- After
I have met you I will decide whether I feels it is appropriate for the
marriage to take place in church, and will let you know.
Anything
you say to me will be treated in the strictest confidence.
top of page...
WEDDING BLESSINGS
Some priests, if they feel unable to conduct the marriage of a couple
in church because of a previous divorce, will offer to conduct a
wedding blessing ( a service of prayer and dedication after a civil
marriage) instead. I am not normally willing to do this - if I feel I
cannot marry you, I am unlikely to feel that I can offer you a
"blessing" either.
However I am very happy to conduct wedding blessings for other reasons
- for example, if
you want to renew your vows on a special anniversary
or if you have been married overseas and want a ceremony in this
country so that your friends and family can celebrate with you. If
either of you is divorced, I would apply the same criteria when making
the decision whether to agree to the blessing as I would if you were to
be married here. You can find out more about these criteria here.
HOW DO I BOOK A WEDDING?
Please
contact me to arrange a time when you can come to book the wedding.
This interview will normally take place at the Vicarage.
top of page...
BANNS
Calling
the banns' is a legal requirement if you are to be married in the
Church of England. I read out your names on three Sundays and announce
that you are planning to get married. This gives people in the local
community a chance to object if they know of a reason why you cannot
legally marry. (If you marry in a registry office, your names would be
displayed for three weeks before the wedding for the same reason).
I
will read your banns, at the beginning of the 10am service, on the
first three Sundays of the month before the wedding. I will tell you
the dates of the banns. You don’t have to be in church to hear
them, although a lot of couples like to be there.
If
one of you lives in another parish, you must have your banns read there
as well. You can find out which is your parish church on the website " A Church Near You" ,
by entering your postcode and then clicking on the map where you live.
Banns must be read during the three months before the wedding.
Please contact the other church in good time so that they can arrange
this. When the banns have been called in the other church, they will
give you a certificate (cost £31 in 2007) which you must bring to
us. We cannot marry you if we have not seen this certificate.
top of page...
WHAT IF MY PARTNER ISN'T
CHURCH OF ENGLAND?
If
your partner is, for example, a Roman Catholic or a Methodist, or of
another faith, their banns must still be read in their local CHURCH OF
ENGLAND church. This is a purely legal requirement.
If
you would like a minister from another denomination to take part in the
ceremony, I will be happy to discuss this. For legal reasons,
however, a Church of England minister must conduct the exchange of vows.
top of page...
PAYING FOR THE WEDDING
Wedding
fees are made up of a number of charges.
There
are fees paid for the priest and charges for the organist, choir, bells
etc.
I
will give you details of the fees when you book the wedding, but they
will go up slightly on 1st January each year and the fee you pay will
be the fee at the time of the wedding, not at the time of booking. The list of fees for 2008 can be found here.
top of page...
MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE
When
you book your wedding you will be invited to a one-day Marriage
Preparation course, called "Growing Together". This is run jointly by a
group of churches in the Sevenoaks area. You can find out more here.
Attendance at this course is not compulsory, but I strongly advise you
to take up the opportunity if you can. Even if you have been together
for some time already, it will help you to think about your
relationship. The day will be very relaxed and informal, and you will
meet with other couples preparing for marriage, so you will be able to
share your experiences together and encourage one another.
PLANNING THE SERVICE
A
wedding is not just a personal celebration; it is also a legal
ceremony, marking a change in your legal status. Because of this, there
are rules made by the government about how the service is conducted; by
whom, where, and what is said within it.
However,
within those
limits I can work with you to plan a service which will be special for
you. Ultimately the form the service takes is at the discretion of the
priest who conducts it, but I like to be flexible and I will enjoy
hearing your ideas and helping you plan. For example, the law
says
that you can't write your own vows, but you can write your own prayers,
choose readings or poems, and choose the music. So, don't be afraid to
ask if there is something special you would like.
There
are two
different types of service which I can use. One uses modern words and
the other uses older traditional words for the vows.
Whichever
service you choose will last about 40 minutes, and will contain not
only the legal exchange of vows, but also a Bible reading, prayers, a
blessing, a short address and the signing of the registers.
After
you have booked, I will want to see you about three months before the
wedding to discuss the service with you, fix a rehearsal, and make sure
that everything is in order.
top of page...
MORE INFORMATION
You can download the following pdf files from this site:
Wedding booklet - a guide to getting
married at Seal.
Floral arrangements at weddings
Florist's agreement
If
you have any questions, please contact:
The Revd. Anne Le Bas, The
Vicarage, Seal, Sevenoaks, Kent TN15 0AR
Tel.
01732 762955
Our
Sunday services are at 10am and 6.30pm. We would love to see you
there as you prepare for your wedding. Children are always welcome.
top of page...
WEBSITES
Getting married
in the Church of England
The
Church of England’s official website.
The Faculty Office. This
site has information about applying for special licences.
Copyright advice. Copying words of
hymns
, for a service sheet, for example.(the church has a copyright licence
to cover this, but please check that the hymns you want are covered.)
Video recording licence (A
professional video recording company will probably have this, but if
you are using an amateur it is your responsibility to make sure any
recording you make - especially of music used in church and at the
reception - is legal.)
For
general advice this site is
usually fairly reliable and sensible.
top
of page...
