|
Fasten Your Seatbelts!What do you call a bunch of senior flight attendants in a spa?......Gorillas in the mist.What's the best way to get a flight attendant in bed?....... Make them work 5 legs back to back and an all nighter. How many flight attendants does it take to change a light bulb?.....A hundred. One to actually change it and 99 to bitch about it. Stupid Question or Stupid Answer?
Lady: Is this my plane ?
A man is flying from Los Angeles to New York. During the meal service, he accidentally knocked the spoon off to the aisle with his elbow. The flight attendant immediately took a spoon from his pocket and placed it on his traytable.
The man was very impressed by the promptness of the service and asked, "Do all flight attendants carry a spoon in their pockets?" What's the difference between a senior flight attendant and a police car?.....You need two police cars to block and intersection.
The plane's cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who
was just as obviously enjoying himself. What's the difference between a teacher, a nurse, and a flight attendant in bed?
The teacher will tell you, "I'm gonna teach you how to do it and then we'll going to go over and over it untill we get it right." How does a flight attendant tell a passenger to go to hell?.....I'll be right back! submitted by Paul How does a flight attendant tell a passenger Asshole?.....Sure! What's the difference between a Flight Attendant and a Mercedes?.....Not everyone has been on a Mercedes. What do Flight Attendants and Monica Lewinsky have in common?.....They all have a blue dress with stains on it. How do you make a flight attendant come with one finger?.....Pressing the flight attendant call button. A new flight attendant was summoned to the office of the head of the training program for a severe reprimand. "I heard about the episode on your first flight, Miss." said the director, glaring over the top of her eyeglasses. "From now on, whenever a passenger feels faint, I'll thank you to push his head down between his own legs."
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, Now sit back and relax. - OH MY GOD!" What do you call a bunch of Flight Attendants in a basement?.....A Whine Cellar! What's the difference between a flight attendant and a 727 engine?..... The 727 engine stops whining after landing. A Blond Flight Attendant was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said Airport Left.....she turned around and went home. An airhead Flight Attendant, a smart Flight Attendant and Santa Claus jumped off the airplane after they lost both engines. Who made the largest splash?.....The airhead Flight Attendant. The others don't exist! What separates Flight Attendants from the scum of the world?.....The Cockpit door. A new blond Flight Attendant was late for pick-up at the hotel. The Captain called her up wondering what had happened to her. She answered the phone and said: "I can't get out of the room." "You can't get out of the room?" the Captain asked, "Why not?" The blonde Flight Attendant replied: "There are only three doors in this room, one is the bathroom, one is the closet and the other one has a sign that says Do Not Disturb! How do you recognize a Flight Attendant at a party?.....They are the only ones eating standing up and cleaning their hands with the curtains. After a passenger continuously pressed the Flight Attendant Call Button, demanding attention and complaining about the service, the Flight Attendant says: "We are here to SAVE your ass, not to KISS it.".... What do you call a pregnant Flight Attendant?......Pilot Error. How many flight attendants does it take to change a light bulb?.....A hundred. One to actually change it and 99 to bitch about it.
Check This Out... More Jokes...
Go Back to Cabin Decompression Homepage Go to My Favortite Clicks
|