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Summary: An offering to
to celebrate the 69th member.
Season 4, Basement of Doom fic about male bonding ceremonies. This gets pretty twisted, folks, so hold on to your hats!
Randy Sex Kitten and Kyrieane
Spike stares at the ceiling and sighs as his blood goes round and round in the microwave. He wonders if Xander is aware that the ceiling is about to fall in over the ‘kitchen’. He hears Xander shifting around on the sofa bed, trying to find a position that allows the least number of springs to press into his back. The TV switches on and Xander snorts.
More shifting and Xander grunts. “Hey, Fangless! Our choices are M*A*S*H, Ice Skating or Beverly Hills, 90210. Don’t forget the popcorn!”
Spike pads over and glares at the TV. “What the fuck happened to the cable?” He gives the television one last glare before returning to the microwave to retrieve his blood.
Xander twists around to lay on his belly, then his back, finally settling on a semi-reclining position, propped against the back of the couch. “I dunno. My parents must have forgotten to pay the bill again. Which one?”
Spike pulls his blood out, drinking it down quickly, trying his damnedest not to taste the swill. He grabs a bag of popcorn and slings it into the microwave before diving into the fridge to find something to rinse the taste of pig out of his mouth.
“Should we see how the other half lives?” Xander calls out as he fluffs the other pillow, patting the mattress and inviting the vampire to join him. He refuses to think about the meaning of his actions and instead focuses on the show. The shining faces of ‘normal’ teens are only slightly fuzzy on the second hand TV screen. “Hey! Bring the beer, too! We can drink every time Kelly flashes cleavage. We should be drunk fifteen minutes into the show!”
Spike snorts and downs a beer, then gathers the rest of the case out of the fridge. Spike looks around and finds Xander’s popcorn bowl sitting on the table next to Willow’s laptop, full of half-chewed kernels. He curls his lip and tosses out the kernels, taking time to half-heartedly wipe the grease out of the bowl before dumping the new bag in.
“There’s more to the game than that! Way I heard it, you have to do a shot every time that Brandon arches his brow into the beat puppy look.” Spike crosses the room and scrambles onto the bed next to Xander, ignoring the way his knee presses up against a warmer thigh. He particularly ignores how the heat is soaking into his skin and is trickling towards his cock.
“Quick! Gimme a beer, I see boobies!” Spike and Xander both take a healthy swig and look back at the television.
Xander watches for a moment, then realizes something. “Spike? Should I be worried that we both know the names of the characters?”
Spike nodded. “Definitely. Puppydog!”
More alcohol goes down and they begin discussing the plot. “I don’t see why they never let Brandon and Dylan get it on. Everybody knows they want it!” Xander glances at Spike as he finishes his sentence, trying to judge the vampire’s reaction.
Spike wriggles closer to Xander’s heat and seems to contemplate the comment. “Yeah, but I think that Steve would’ve gotten jealous. Stupid git was always mooning over Brandon. ‘Sides, public teenybopper TV. Cast was probably doing it in the trailer in between takes.”
“Boobies!” Xander’s shout echoes through the room and they both finish their beers. Xander crushes his against his forehead and tosses it over the back of the couch as Spike reaches down to grab them each another one. His hand encounters a paper bag and he tugs at it, grinning when he unearths a forgotten bottle of Jack Daniel’s.
Onscreen, Brandon is speaking to Dylan. Spike scratches his head as Xander grabs the bottle of Jack and takes a swig, washing it down with a handful of popcorn. “You’d think the game would have something about them all saying ‘hey bro’ all the bloody time!” Spike jerks the bottle back and takes several swallows.
Xander wriggles down to the end of the bed, his ass swinging enticingly in the air as he stretches out to grab Willow’s laptop. He turns and looks at Spike with an evil grin. “Let’s see if there’s anything online about it!”
Spike makes a strangled sound, partly in response to Xander’s comment and partly in response to the luscious ass that is hovering in front of him. “Online?”
Xander tugs at the computer and grins back at Spike. “Yeah, Willow found a drinking game online for Xena, there should be something about 90210.”
He scoots back up the bed to sit next to Spike, the vampire leaning in to see the screen. Xander wriggles a bit, inching toward the blond. There is a moment of violent activity as cords and wires are shoved out of the way and then Xander turns the machine on.
“Ok. She said it’s on satellite… Which button… Oh. There.” The screen flashes on and Xander clicks on the Google search before Spike’s hand stops him.
“Wait, readin’ this,” Spike mutters.
Xander looks at what Willow had onscreen and gasped. It was a vivid description of two women having sex. He recognizes a name and squeals. “What is this?”
“Who cares, move, I’m reading.” Spike shoves Xander and grabs at the computer, pulling it into his own lap. He clicks on favorites and smirks. “Red’s a bad girl, pet. Look at this.”
Xander and Spike read down the list of favorite sites, reading the funnier ones aloud to one another in between swigs of Jack. Spike clicks on one, eliciting another squeak from Xander. “Are those pictures real?” He points at a tiny link at the bottom of the screen and Spike opens it to get a better look.
Xander feels his cock harden as he takes in the image of Brandon curled into Dylan’s lap, the latter’s hand wrapped around the former’s swollen length.
“Don’t think so, pet. It’s called a manip.” Spike clicks on another one and both men gasp.
“S..spike? Can men… do that?” Xander quivers and blood floods Spike’s groin.
“Oh, yeah, Xan. Men can do that.” Spike’s voice is breathless. Xander looks at Spike and his eyes widen at the look of lust on the vampire’s face.
Xander swallows and absolutely cannot believe that he is going to say this… “Show me?”
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