Chapter 1



Christina ran up the stairs quickly with her briefcase. She had a meeting in ten minutes and she wanted to be there early, so it looked good. She swung it along playfully as she ran. She continued to speed and suddenly she collided with the man in front of her, sending her briefcase open and her and him to the floor.


Christina
It took a minute for to focus and then finally I sat up. “Are you okay?” I said to the man on the ground next to me as I started to try and gather and organize my papers.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay?” he asked.

I looked up meeting his eyes for the first time and suddenly, it felt as if my heart stopped. “Chrissy. Oh my god. How are you?” he asked.

“Pat is that really you?” I asked the man who carried not only my heart, but also my childhood, my past, and my secrets.

I stood and impulsively pulled him in to hug me. I was lingering in his arms for a while as the smell of his cologne took me back to our younger years. I would have completely forgotten about this meeting, I was in such a rush to get to, if my watch didn’t beep. “Oh my God. I have to go. I’m going to be late. But you should stick around if you’re not busy,” I said as I headed up the stairs.

“I’d love to have coffee with you,” I said to him from over my shoulder.

“Yeah sure. I’ll be waiting here for you,” he said.

I tried to forget Pat for the moment and focus on my presentation.


Pat
I grabbed some of the papers off of the floor and handed them to the woman I knocked into. And then we locked eyes. I could feel my heart start to race. Suddenly, I had dry mouth and sweaty palms. Much like I did the day I asked her to the eight grade formal. “Chrissy, Oh my God. How are you?” I said.

“Pat is that really you?” she asked and then she pulled me in for a hug.

I held onto her so tightly. I told myself this time I wouldn’t let her get away. I took in the intoxicating scent of her hair and the feeling of her curvy figure against my own body. This was a body far more womanly than she had back when we were together. “Oh my God. I’m going to be late. I have to go, but you should stick around, if you’re not busy,” she said as she walked up the stairs.

I felt so cold when she pulled away from me. I would wait forever for her. I already waited twelve years, just to see her. “Yeah, I’ll be waiting here for you,” I said as I watched her walk away.

I sat down on a bench in the lounge area and checked my watch. Finally, after fifteen minutes of boredom I paced up and down for awhile. I had to take a leak so bad, but there was no way I was going to miss her.

I ignored the pressure from my bladder and continued to pace. Another forty-five minutes had passed and finally she emerged at the top of the stairs. “Hi,” I said.

“Oh my God. You waited,” she said to me.

Her brown eyes were pouring into my soul. Of course I waited I wanted to tell her. “Now I feel bad, because I have so much work that needs to be done by tomorrow and I’ll be up all night if we go out. But here’s my card, give me a call and we’ll catch up,” she said.

“I’m sorry Pat. But it was nice seeing you,” she said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek, causing it to tingle.

And then she was off. I couldn’t believe what just happened. I waited an hour to get her business card. That is so impersonal and it made me angry. I hurried out to the side of the building. I threw her card on the ground and I pissed on it.

Taking a leak only gave me momentary relief. I began to walk away. I told myself if after twelve years she only wanted to give me a FUCKING business card, then I didn’t want to call her anyway.

I started to walk away. I was all the way to the end of the block when I changed my mind. I turned around and hurried up the street, but there was a woman who had just swept up the card. “Wait,” I yelled frantically.

The small Mexican woman with the sweeper stared at me wide –eyed. “I need to look through your trash,” I said to her.

“No habla ingles,” she said.

“Your gar-bage, I need to look through it,” I said more slowly.

She just stared at me and dumped it into the larger trash can. “Nooooo,” I yelled.

“FUCK,” I said angrily.

I kicked at the trash can and thought about what I had just done. I might have lost her forever this time and I don’t know if I can live with that.



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