Chapter 7



Isaac
We didn't say a word, not even a thing as Taylor stormed away. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. I could kill Taylor right now for starting something. Dinner had been going so smoothly and he has to open his mouth and ruffle Zac's feathers. And Zac, well he just loses that temper so fast which made him no better then Taylor, when they finally got into it.

I just couldn't understand how he could snap at Joley like that. I mean he looked her right in the eye and belittled her in front of us. He obviously didn’t care that we were right there listening to every word. She was hurt and embarrassed we all knew that, hell, if it had happened to us that’s how we would feel.

She hasn't looked at us since. Rachel and I had absolutely no clue what we should say. Joley hasn't even turned to acknowledge our presents. “Joley,” Rachel was the first to speak.

I really could kill them, both of them. Joley didn't answer she kept looking out the window, “Joley,” Rachel said again.

Joley finally turned and looked at us, “So much for a romantic evening out,” she said gesturing to the way she was dressed.

“I'm sorry honey,” Rachel said taking her hand from across the table.

“He promised me. He promised that he would behave today. That he would give me one day of peace.” I felt bad for her.

I loved Joley like she was my sister. I have known her since she was six and even though Zac was my brother I wanted to punch him for hurting her. I wanted to punch the both of them for being stupid idiots. “I'm just so tired of the constant fighting. I try to help I do, they used to be so close and now well, they fight if Taylor even looks at Zac. I can't live there and deal with this every day!” she massaged her forehead.

She must be getting a headache just thinking about them “Joley, honey,” I spoke, “don't get involved. Don't try anymore, it’s not worth you getting upset or hurt because they have problems with each other.”

“But I hate seeing them fight, and I feel bad for Taylor. He doesn't do anything and Zac is just on him so fast.”

“But honey don't you see, you trying to help is just making so many problems between you and Zac?” I told her.

“I know but.... I just want to help,” she was about to cry and I didn't want to make her cry.

“I know you do but let them come to you. I don't want to see you and Zac have serious problems because of this.” She nodded and then shook her head.

“I am so pissed off at him,” there was anger in her voice now.

“And you have every right to be,” Rachel said, “If Isaac ever spoke to me like that I would...”

“I would never,” I cut in.

“I know but if you ever did, oh man you better start running because I would really hurt you.” “Well I wouldn't see please don’t start planning my torture.”

“You guys were right here, I mean he scolded me in front of you guys, in front of everyone here like I was three years old. I want to rip his dick off right about now.” I knew it was just anger talking but I couldn't help but squirm a little cause the thought of that being done to any man is frightening.

“That would make him think twice,” I joked hoping to make her smile, laugh, but there was nothing.

“And he just leaves me here to fend for myself. I'm a nineteen year old girl from Tulsa and he leaves me alone in some restaurant in New York City. He really must not care if I get murdered or mugged or raped or...”

“Joley,” I stopped her, “You were not left anywhere. You are here with us and we will make sure you get home just fine.”

“Home? I can't go home, he will be there and I refuse to lay eyes on him right now. I might kill him.” I looked at her oddly for a moment.

“Well then where are you going to stay? You can't sleep here in the restaurant.”

“Isaac,” Rachel scolded in my ear.

“What?” I asked and she just ignore.

“Joley,” she said touching her hand and giving me the look, “She can spend the night at your apartment with us.”

“With us?” But we didn't finish having sex before and I knew she wouldn't give me any if Joley was there.

I didn't say anything for a moment. I didn't want to say yes, but I didn't want to be a shit head and say no either. “Isaac right?” Rachel said stepping on my foot roughly under the table.

“Can I talk to you for a second Rey?” I asked her.

She gave me a dirty look but agreed. “What?” she asked annoyed when we walked over to the corner.

“I thought we were gonna finish what we started later tonight?” “Finish? I never said anything about finishing anything.”

“But Rey, I didn't finish and I thought we could do it all night.” I begged her.

“Isaac you most certainly finished!” she said putting her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, but not the last time, the time I wanted to finish the most.” She knew what giving her anal did to me.

“The last time? You mean when you were doing me in the ass,” she said it like it was nothing.

“Rachel Shhh, keep your voice down.”

“What's the matter are you embarrassed that you had your dick, up my ass cause I know I'm not. I'm an adult and I'm proud of the fact that I get off when you do that!” I could have died she was saying those things so loud.

“Babe, please, I just thought we were gonna fool around tonight.”

“Well maybe we still can. It doesn't matter if she is there, we just have to be quiet. Besides look at her she is really upset she needs someone, She needs us.” I looked over and she did look upset and I guess it would be kind of hot if we were having sex and we had to be quiet.

“Yeah you're right. I'm sorry,” Rachel shook her head, “Just go over there and make her feel like you want her there with us.”

I walked back over to the table and sat down, “Of course you can stay with us.”

She smiled half heartedly. “Its really ok guys, I'll figure something out, a hotel or something.”

“Absolutely not Joley,” I said.

She was young and naive. Being in New York City in a hotel on a Saturday Night alone was the last place she needed to be, “You are coming home with us.”

“Are you sure Isaac?” “Of Course” I told her.

********
“So I’m on the train and I had told her a million times that I was not going to be home this week-end and that this week-end I was spend with Isaac,” Rachel told Joley as they sat on the sofa in the living room.

They had been gossiping about her stupid friend Leann for a little while and I was getting a little annoyed. I wanted Rachel to come to bed so we could fool around a little, but she was making Joley laugh and smile so I wasn’t gonna be too mean.

I turned off the TV in the bedroom and walked out of the bedroom, “She just makes me crazy but she has been my friend for a long time so I try to tolerate her,” Rachel said to Joley as they turned to acknowledge me.

That food that I had tonight really gave me heart burn and I kept burping so I was holding my chest cause I was uncomfortable, “What’s with you?” she asked.

I turned my eyebrow up and let out a rather rude belch, “Oh excuse me, I have chest pains.”

“Jesus Isaac,” she said turning her noise away it was a little smelly, “Chest pains, that was to disgusting to be chest pains.”

“Hey,” I said now trying to rub away this discomfort, “I have indigestion.”

“Well then, go take something,” she really didn’t seem to care about me.

I huffed and got up and went to look for some Tums or something, “So, tell me Joley have you and Zac... yet?” I heard Rachel say.

I shouldn’t want to know the answer, I shouldn’t even think about listening but I really can’t help it and I need to know if my little bro is still a virgin, “No, not yet, Zac keeps saying he’s not ready.”

I don’t know what came over me. I took my Tums and ran into the living room, “He’s not ready? What the hell you’re practically his wife!” I yelled.

Joley stopped and stared up at me then her face turned bright red, “Oh how embarrassing,” she laughed as she looked away.

“Isaac, how dare you ease drop,” Rachel scolded.

“What? I didn’t do it on purpose. Besides, Joley is my other little sister and she should feel no shame in telling me anything about her sexuality, although if any other boy were to even look at her I think I would claw their eyes out,” she was still laughing from her slight embarrassment as I took a seat on the coffee table so me and the girls were facing each other.

“It is a little embarrassing,” she said quietly.

“Why?” “Because your like an older brother and well, you know how that is,” she couldn’t look at me.

“Joley, I know you have feelings... down there and my brother is fulfilling them for you,” I tried not to make a gesture to her lower area but I it just happened.

“Oh my god!” she squeaked and quickly covered her face with her hands.

“Isaac!” Rachel said smacking me playfully.

“It’s the truth,” I responded and stopped for a second before continuing, “but seriously, you are a virgin?”

She couldn’t look at me but did respond with a nod of her head.

“And it’s not you?” she shook her head again, “Damn.” was all I could think of to say.

“Please,” Joley said to her hands and then finally looking at both me and Rachel, “I have been ready and willing for a long time.”

“Ah!” Rachel yelled as I was really disturbed.

She grabbed Joley and pulled her into a hug, “I love you Joley, you little freak! You are a girl after my own heart. Oh man when she finally has sex she is gonna be a little fiend, isn’t she Isaac?” Rachel asked me as her and Joley both looked at me smiling.

It bothered me to think of her like Rachel, she was the kinkiest person I have ever met, “Ummm... don’t be torturing her Rachel, she does not need to know about what you do. She is way to young for that,” I told her and then burped rather loudly again.

“Ewww,” Joley squeaked as she covered her nose, “That’s gross,” she said threw her hand.

“Sorry, it must have been dinner. Now I’m not gonna be giving any promos’s for Gary. His restaurant gave me heart burn!” I yelled.

Rachel just stared and then shook her head at me. I was gonna go lay down again and hope maybe I got back in the mood because talking about Joley like that did not turn me on, “I’m going to bed, Night Joley, I should still be up Rey when you come in,” I told her hoping she would get the hint.

“Ok fine,” she said blowing me off.

“Night,” Joley said back and I walked to the bedroom.

“So tell me Joley, what have you and Zac done?” Rachel asked her and I needed to walk a little quicker so I didn’t hear it and get serious mental images.

“Well, he really likes to play with my hair as I...” and I closed my bedroom door just in time Thank-god!

Zac
I came into the dark apartment alone. It was quiet for once and cold just like the weather outside. I took my jacket off and threw it on the chair as I turned the lights on. I turned up the heat and threw myself down on the chair and sighed. What the hell was I thinking?

I was halfway home when I realized that I should have never left Joley there, never. I was just so angry that I lost control and she was bugging me and I need to get out of there and... I rubbed my head with my hands, I can’t believe I left her there.

I thought about turning around and going back to the restaurant and finding her and throwing myself at her feet so she could kick me hard. That would hurt less then I do know. This all goes back to Taylor, everything is his fault.

How was a supposed to be a normal brother, boyfriend, person if I feel like this? How was I supposed to continue on in life when I’m like this on a constant basis? I just couldn’t handle it anymore, none of it.

I don’t remember how or when I began crying, I just felt the wetness on my face and realized that I was not just crying but sobbing. I couldn’t hold any of it in anymore, it was coming to the surface and I couldn’t drown it back down.

I buried my face in my hands and let the tears flow. I was crying so hard that I could barely breath. I feel back deep into the sofa and must have stayed there for hours and just let my emotions really over take me.

Every five seconds Joley’s smile and her eyes and her laugh would flash before me and I would think about how much I love her. I love her more then I could ever describe to her and I was so fucked up that I couldn’t share this. I couldn’t share my pain with her.

I could never tell her this but sometimes when we lie in bed and she touches me I feel their hands still. When her loving, caring eyes bare into me I can still see their gawking eyes looking at me. Scaring me.

What if something happens to Joley tonight? The thought crossed my mind and it made me sob a little more. I would never forgive myself if she never came home, oh my god. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them close rocking back and forth.

Joley would cross my mind and when it wasn’t Joley it was Taylor and he was just staring like he did that day. Just staring, never moving. I need to drive it away, just push it all away.

I jumped off the couch and stumbled my crying body into the bathroom. I stood in front of the sink and wanted to look at the broken reflection of myself, but I couldn’t bare to. I didn’t see who am when I looked in the mirror, I always see who I was. That ten year-old boy never got to really grow up and he is always there to great me in the mirror.

I splashed water on my face and finally looked up and there he was. He was always there. He looked lost and scared and always had tears and I hated everything about it. I wasn’t that boy anymore. I changed that day and I wish I could go back to who I was. I wish I wasn’t haunted by the past.

I couldn’t look at this reflection anymore and I felt anger seep threw me. I don’t remember what drove me to do it but my fist flew into the glass of the mirror and the reflection was shattered. For the first time in eight years the picture looking back at me was who I really was. I was this shattered glass.

I savored the feeling it gave me for a moment before I finally felt the pain seep threw my hand. I looked down and the blood was dripping everywhere and shards of glass were sticking out of the deep cuts in my fists.

I held it to me as I went into the kitchen dripping blood along the way. I found a dish towel and rapped it tightly around my hand putting pressure so maybe it wouldn’t bleed to much. Then I looked in the cabinet where I knew Taylor liked to keep his alcohol. Threw my ragged breathing and tear filled eyes I found the bottle that I was looking for.

Vodka could drive away my pain. Vodka could make me forget how much I loved my brother once, how much I hurt now. It would make me forget what I did tonight. I wouldn’t have to think about her sitting at a table upset and alone. Vodka would make me forget just how much I love her.

I sat down at the kitchen table and took the biggest chug of alcohol I could stand and swallowed it down. I felt the warmth grow threw my body from my stomach almost immediately. And I knew it was only a matter of time before complete and udder delirium washed over me finally bringing me peace.

What would the fans say about me now if they could see me? Would they still think that I was the always crazy always happy Zac? No, they wouldn’t. I wonder what the fans would think if they knew what their precious Taylor did? If they would think he was a coward just the way I did or if they would forgive him and pretend it never happened.

I took another gulp and closed my eyes as the burning sensation hit the back of my throat. The burning was worth the emptiness that I could feel, the numbness that it could bring me.

I don’t remember my head hitting the table, I don’t remember when exactly the dizziness over took me and I don’t remember drifting in and out of consciousness.

********
I heard the door slam shut and I opened my eyes. I was still in the kitchen and the bottle of Vodka was still lodged in my hand, but it was empty. I don’t remember finishing the bottle but I must of. The only thing I could feel was the throbbing of my hand. “Zac where the hell are you!” the devil himself screamed threw our apartment.

I was ready to give it to him, Joley wasn’t here and that was all his fault. I was gonna break him in half if I got the chance and no one was here to stop me. I jumped out of the chair and I could feel the Vodka immediately. I might not remember drinking all of it, but I felt like I had, “In here you filthy piece of shit!” I heard myself slur.

He came storming into the kitchen and I could smell the alcohol as soon as he was in the vicinity of me or was that me? I was to drunk to tell. But I knew he had been drinking as much as I had probably more, it was in his eyes. “I want to kill you!” he bellowed.

“Fucking try it Taylor go ahead, you already killed a part of me years ago,” I wanted to rip his hair out.

“I didn’t do anything to you! You were just to god damn sensitive you always were. You were everyone’s favorite little boy because you loved to be hugged and cuddle and you cried when you got hurt and everyone though you were just the cutest fucking thing! I always thought different you were annoying and I hated you!” I could feel myself growing hot.

“Funny that’s how I feel about you now! But the difference is I hate your fucking guts!” I must have sounded possessed, I was screaming so loud.

“What you did tonight was so messed up! Yelling at Joley like that what’s next gonna throw fists?”

I charged at him and got up in his face, “You don’t even mention her name or I will rip your heart out and feed it to you.”

He pushed his body into mine, “Oh yeah, Zac, Think your all tough now, huh cause you’re older and a couple inches taller? Your still the same little coward crying in the woods,” I could feel the mist from his breath, he was so close to me.

I was completely enraged and I grabbed the empty vodka bottle from the counter and threw it right at his head. I missed his by inches and the glass shattered against the wall. “Oh that’s it now, you’re gonna get it!” he yelled ripping me by my shirt from the kitchen into the living room.

As he forcefully dragged me from the kitchen my hand hit the door on the way out and my knees buckled from the pain. He threw me into the couch causing it to move backwards and knock over one of the arm tables. He charged at me and I put up my knee and he ran himself right into me.

He was doubled over in pain, I felt his ribs connect with my knee when he collided. I got my self up and stood right next to him, “What Taylor? Something wrong you filthy fuck? Did you get hurt?” he was up quickly.

“Fuck you, shit head!” he screamed as he threw the remote from the TV at my head. It missed by head by inches.

I turned and glared at him, “You ruined my life you know that!” “I never did a god damn thing to you, you spoiled asshole. You just wanted everything your way. You have Joley and the perfect life and you still want something to cry about,” he had picked up the picture frame of me and Joley.

“You had Genna but you fucked that up! You pushed her away because everything is about you!” I could feel my throat getting hoarse or maybe it was just from the dizziness the Vodka had caused.

“Don’t you bring her into this,” he yelled gazing at the picture of me a Joley.

“Put that down!” “Oh, why, don’t want to do anything to your little girlfriend?” was that I threat cause I’ll break his face.

I charged him and he threw the picture frame to the ground causing it to shatter. I threw myself into Taylor and he fell back onto the coffee table causing it to bust beneath us.

I don’t know how many times my fist connected with Taylor or how many time his fist connected with me. All I know was that I couldn’t stop my arm from hitting even though the towel had now come off my hand and Taylor was covered in blood and it wasn’t his.

I didn’t feel pain in my hand and I didn’t feel pain when he hit me I just felt the rage and the hatred.

I didn’t hear them come into the apartment it was only when they pulled me off Taylor that I realized someone was there. I couldn’t stop myself from glowering at him as they handcuffed me and Taylor, “You’re under arrest.”


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