PRESENTS...

“Island Massacre Addition”

Disclaimer: The following program has been paid for by “Primetime” Paul Roberts, an ASW superstar. This network, the ASW, or its affiliates are in no way taking part in the production of this program. Any and all characters appearing on the program are entirely fictional. This network does not necessarily support the claims and or products presented.

As the scene passes by the disclaimer that is required by this network and ASW to air “Primetime in the Daytime” Paul Roberts, day time talk show, the scene opens in studio 800 screaming “Primetime” Paul Roberts, fans, yes they went out and found some, as they pan over the crowd; the crowd lets out a loud roar, as the camera fades out onto the video opening for “Primetime in the Daytime”. “You know my name” hits as the video opening plays. The announcer Chad Monie tells the audience what is in store for the program.

Announcer Chad: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to “Primetime in the Daytime”! Today on the program, Primetime’s picks! Where Paul Roberts gives his predictions for the upcoming “Island Massacre” Pay-Per-View! Then it will be Paul Roberts Under and Overachievers for the past few weeks, then finally on the program, Paul Roberts will speak with the man he will face in Ultimate X this coming Wednesday, CASH! All that and more on this addition of “Primetime in the Daytime!”

The video package raps up and we are back in studio with Paul Roberts sitting at his desk on center stage, the music quiets down as the crowd continues to cheer. Roberts pleads with the people to quiet down and they finally do.

Primetime: Ladies and gentlemen please! We aren’t paying you that much to be hear! You don’t have to scream all night long. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to “Primetime in the Daytime”, now it has been a while now since an addition has been made and let me tell you these people have been just dieing to get back into these doors. Now there is a Pay-Per-View just around the corner and I want to get this show kicked off! So let me just start out by saying…These are “Primetime’s Picks!: Island Massacre Addition!”

A graphic rolls across the bottom of the screen, signifying the start of the segment.

Primetime: Now I am going to start from the bottom of the card and work my way up, and let me tell you this card is a crazy one, with more than just a few people pulling more than double duty this should be hectic. They are not kidding about it being an Island Massacre. The show is opening with a Treasure Chest Brawl, now I am not exactly sure on a lot of the rules for the matches on this show, so I will just go ahead and guess. The Treasure Chest Brawl, is probably more than likely a match to try and lock someone in a treasure chest!

The crowd roars its approval of such a match.

Primetime: This match’s contestants are Goldeneye, Goliath, Red Star, Mizery, Osaki, and Zane Duncan. Now just going on shear size alone one would have to assume that Goliath would never fit in a Treasure Chest. However we all know that Goldeneye has eyes made of gold! So who knows, but my pic for this match has to be Goliath! The big man is on a tear lately, he ALMOST won a match the last time we all saw him and that is a big step forward for him. Plus like I said earlier I don’t think he will fit in the Treasure Chest so that gives him a large advantage in the match. Moving on….The next match is for the Canadian Tag Team titles, we all know my good friends the D.A.

The very pro-primetime crowd lets out a resounding boo.

Primetime: Yeah…boooo! Well I had a big smile on my face when I saw just what the D.A. had gotten themselves into by wanting to hold all the gold. In there first of many matches on the night the D.A. Robb and Dev, are facing David the Rock and Adam Strong the Brothers of Pain in a Tornado Ladder match, who in the past couple of weeks have seem to had there number. Like I said this is there first of many matches on the night, and I am going with the Brothers of Pain, because I believe that the D.A. will be focusing on one of there more important matches on this night, because by there own admission they would rather face Wasted Time…oh, I mean Wasted Youth then defend there Canadian gold, so I think BOP walk out new Canadian Tag Team Champions.

The crowd shows its approval as we move on.

Primetime: Moving on folks, we come to a Woman’s Title Raise the Flag match, between to ladies I know very little about, since I have been in ASW I have never once seen “Dirt Bag” Susan, and aside from a short appearance on a Goliath promo I have also never seen the champion. This for me is a true toss up and I give it to the champion. Then I come to the match of the night!

The crowd begins to roar knowing what is coming next.

Primetime: “Primetime” Paul Roberts taking on X-Champion CASH, in ULTIMATE X!

The crowd roars again as Roberts stands up throwing up the X symbol getting the crowd fired up.

Primetime: Yes, folks we come to my match, the match I have been waiting for since I became the number one contender in two matches. They finally signed it, and ASW will see Ultimate-X for the first time ever, and let me tell you I will not disappoint. Folks the pick for this one is easy, it goes to the challenger because of his superior athletic ability and ability to easily outsmart his opponent. CASH’s X-Title rein comes to an end at Island Massacre, and that is the easiest pick of the night.

The crowd again roars its approval.

Primetime: Moving on…The next match is for the World Tag Team Titles, a plunder of weapons match, a match were I can only guess has a plunder of weapons. Now unfortunately for the D.A. I don’t think they are going to win this match either because it is not a team vs team tag team match. It is triple threat and I am sure they will complain about it later. Wasted Youth vs The D.A. vs The Outlaws. Now I can only assume that this match will like most go to Wasted Youth, and I hope it does. Now before Masset shows up on my set and rings my neck let me say why. Masset and I are poised for a contenders match following the Pay-Per-View, if Wasted Youth win, The D.A. and The Outlaws will no longer be contenders and that blows the contender spots wide open. We could face the other half of Brothers in Pain for the number one contender spot and be able to take the tag titles from Waste of Space ourselves, which is what I am sure Masset wants to do. So for one night only I will be cheering on Wasted Youth in this one.

Primetime: Our next match is for the North American Title, chains and shackles match, the rematch that Black Robb didn’t want to happen. Hmmm, isn’t that just so sad? Now I am sure after the Pay-Per-View is over and probably for the whole week leading up to the Pay-Per-View Robb and Devastator will be whining and crying about how many matches they had to have in one night. But you know what? You boys brought this on yourselves, and when Robb loses the North American title back to my boy Dominator because we all know Price isn’t going to take it. Come on the guy couldn’t beat Goliath, I don’t want to hear Robb crying about how it wasn’t fair that he had to have so many matches. Dominator takes this one in a landslide.

The crowd lets out a loud cheer showing that it is a pro-chaos theory crowd.

Primetime: Next on the card is for the Canadian Championship in a Gallows match, again not sure what that match is but it sounds fun. This is probably going to be the stinker of the night, neither of these guys Grant Dupree or Jonathan Sledge have shown there faces in weeks, so it will be more than likely that the crowd will be cold for this match. It is a true toss up I give it to….Sledge I guess.

Wasting no time Roberts moves on to a more interesting match.

Primetime: Now here is one that I am looking forward to, United States Title match, Hangman’s Massacre, a match that according to Harker is the same as barbed wire massacre only in this match the only way to win is to hang your opponent with a barbed wire noose. This just sounds gory and bloody…I love it! Devastator got lucky and made it out of Barbed Wire Massacre with full control of the title, but with Devy playing triple duty my money is on Harker to take the gold this time. Dev wanted to have a “Loser gets there mouth taped shut match” with me following the Pay-Per-View….

The crowd laughs at the stupid name for the match.

Primetime: Yeah, he came up with that name. Like I was saying, he wanted that match with me, but if things go they way I think they will Dev will probably be in the hospital following this one my money is on the War Machine.

The crowd roars its approval and Roberts moves on.

Primetime: And now we move on to the main event! The match that Robb has been whining and crying about since my partner beat Devastator. Black Robb vs Masset in a Tavern Brawl Massacre for the ASW World Heavyweight Championship. Now my money is on Masset, and here is why, Robb has done nothing but tire himself out, he thought he was going to catch Masset napping and swipe the World Title from my boy on an off day, however I seriously doubt that is going to happen. The World Title stays with Chaos Theory, and after Robb and Dev are done crying about how ASW screwed them, just remember that they did this to themselves as they leave the Pay-Per-View with absolutely no gold. I am “Primetime” Paul Roberts and those are my picks you can take them to the bank! We will be right back.

The camera fades away from the set and opens on a commercial, but we soon find out that it is no ordinary commercial. It stars “Primetime” Paul Roberts and he is sitting in a bathroom on the toilet, pants around his ankles.

Primetime: Are you tied of the same old bathroom tissue? The same old rough gritty feeling when you head off to try and relax for a few moments of a busy day? I know I am! That’s why I don’t use any ordinary bathroom tissue. I use CASH! That’s right cold hard CASH! I just keep a box of it next to my toilet and when I am ready I just whip away with that CASH! Why spend money on bathroom tissue when you can whip your ass with CASH? Heck you can do anything with it, you can whip the floor with CASH, blow your nose on CASH, you can even eat CASH for breakfast! So don’t go wasting your money on supplies you don’t need around the house just use CASH for what its good for....cleaning up your sh*t.

The camera fades back into studio from the last “commercial” were we find Roberts sitting at his desk smiling ready for his next segment.

Primetime: Ladies and gentlemen welcome back, my next segment is my over and under rates stars of the week!

The graphic scrolls across the bottom of the screen, signifying the starts of the next segment.

Primetime: Let me start out this segment with the most underrated star. The most underrated star in ASW right now has to be Goliath, sure the guy has some trouble actually winning matches but he is a big and tough as they come. When I faced him a couple weeks ago for the number one contender spot to the X-Title it was a challenging feet indeed. Goliath also holds a pinfall victory over my opponent this Wednesday on Pay-Per-View, CASH. One of the few victories the guy actually has. No body gives the guy any respect, and I want to be the first person to say, big man….your a little underrated.

The crowd laughs.

Primetime: Now moving on to the OVER rated stars in ASW, now there is not one man that can lay claim to this. It could be Seth Price for going on and on about how he is a legend and an act of god, but honestly in order to be overrated other people have to believe it to. It could be Harker for taking ASW by storm just to run into a brick wall at Barbed Wire Massacre by Mr. Overrated himself Devastator, but Harker never asked for the hype so we wont include him. Heck it could even go to my opponent CASH, for even being a champion in the first place. No, the prestigious award of being Mr. Overrated goes to two people, Black Robb and Devastator. No, Myke Larson is not included because honestly he is by far the weakest link of there team and lets face the facts he hasn’t won a match in a long time. So lets start with Black Robb. Black Robb is a double champion and surely does not deserve to be one. The D.A can thank there lucky stars that CASH and Toxen defeated Masset and Dom, only to have Toxen drop out of the ASW and hand you two the Canadian tag titles. No idea why Masset and Dominator were not granted a re-match and you two bums got a match instead. As far as Robb’s other titles, jumping from the Canadian title so he didn’t have to defend it, to the N.A. title were he caught Dominator napping hardly signifies dominance.

Roberts rolls his eyes.

Primetime: Then Robby goes and tries to get a title match signed as soon as he possibly can after my bro Masset successfully defended against Mr. Overrated 2, Devastator. He gets cheep victories then tries to make away without ever defending titles. Unfortunately for him his little plan didn’t work the way he hoped seeing as how he has four matches at the Pay-Per-View. Remember Robb, this is your chance to prove that you are not overrated, four matches in one night, if you can come out with wins in all of them you will have my respect and I will not bother you again. Good luck to you.

Primetime: Mr. Overrated 2 goes to his partner Devastator. One half of the Canadian tag team champions, the U.S. Champion and contender to the World Tag Titles. Could this overlay average man be more overrated? Riding an already overrated star like Robb’s coattails will only take you so far. I will humble you Devastator after the Pay-Per-View if there is anything left of you after Harker hangs you with a barbed wire noose. And those are my under and over rated stars of the week!

The camera fades out yet again to yet another “commercial” from “Primetime” Paul Roberts. As the commercial opens we see Paul Roberts sitting in an expensive looking chair wearing a fancy red robe with a pipe in his mouth.

Primetime: Hello everyone, let me be the first to tell you I smoke Corban Hart Tobacco in my pipe. And when I am looking to relax I just reach over and grab some cold hard CASH to light it with. I just burn the CASH, and use it to light my Corban Hart Tobacco. With a nice smooth taste Corban Hart is the only thing I want to smoke. So go ahead grab some CASH and burn it so you can smoke some Corban Hart. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it!

The “commercial” fades and heads back to Paul Roberts in studio.

Primetime: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is the reigning ASW X-Champion, the man who has been ducking my challenges since day one. Today, I ask him just how it felt when I cracked him upside the head with a steal chair. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome CASH!

“No more sorrow” by Linkin Park begins to play, to a round of boos from the crowd. The man who walks out from behind the curtain is obviously not Corban Hart, but a poorly done look alike, heck he doesn’t even look like Corban he is a skinny white guy with a toy X-Title on his shoulder. He walks over and sits down next to the desk of “Primetime” Paul Roberts.

Primetime: Corban welcome to my show, and let me just say thank you for coming on.

The fake CASH glaring at Roberts the whole time.

Primetime: Now there is a face only a mother would love.

CASH continues to glare at Roberts.

Primetime: Okay, okay, I guess I deserve that, I did come after you three shows in a row—

Fake CASH: And twice in one show!

Primetime: … I know, and I must say. That is was necessary. You did duck my challenge.

Fake CASH: Yeah so what! I don’t want to defend it okay!

Primetime: Well that much is obvious.

Fake CASH: I just want to hold on to the title for months on end without defending it.

Primetime: I figured.

Fake CASH: You know I just wanted to wait a few more months, you know like ASW usually does it. I mean heck we usually only have Pay-Per-View’s like three times a year! Then all of a sudden ASW decides to have a Pay-Per-View what a load of crap.

Primetime: Well I gave you what you wanted, we waited till a Pay-Per-View.

Fake CASH: Whatever.

Primetime: I just don’t understand how you can not be excited! This is Ultimate X we are talking about!

Fake CASH: Excited ha! What do I have to be excited about? Losing the X-Title? Yeah there is a great deal of fun there.

Primetime: I guess I see your point if I was facing me, I guess I wouldn’t be as excited as me either…if that makes any sense at all.

Fake CASH: You’re a douche!

Primetime: Excuse me?

Fake CASH: You just had to come into the X-Division didn’t you? You couldn’t just leave me alone in my division, you couldn’t just go after Devastator in the U.S. division or Black Robb in the Canadian Division.

Primetime: I saw a division in desperate need of some juice, desperate need of some life! You can thank me for getting others in ASW excited about the X-Division.

Fake CASH: You don’t get it do you?

Primetime: I guess not.

Fake CASH: I don’t want to defend the belt! I never did! I wanted to win it and then just hold it forever having no excitement in a division is a good thing! No competition!

Primetime: See now there is one thing I just don’t like about you ASW guys. I came to ASW because it was suppose to have some of the best competition, and all I find is guys who like to talk but don’t want to fight. I came to ASW to face people who wanted gold as much as I did. So I went to the division that needed the most help. I went to the X-Division, a relatively new division that needed a jolt of lightning to charge it up. So I came after you CASH, then you did what you could to keep the division dead. While the whole time I continued to shake up things in ASW, makes waves like no one has before in ASW. I have more people pissed off at me in the ASW locker room than any other person on the roster the only friends I have are Masset and Dominator and lets not forget about Chad, and “Outrageous” Ned! Sometimes I wonder why some of friends stand behind me with some of the things that I do, and I know it is because unlike everyone else here I actually have a backbone. I am not afraid to step between the ropes and get into a fight. I brought in the innovation of Ultimate X, I brought in a career of accolades and championships, and I brought in excitement that only I can bring. At Island Massacre I will prove why I am everything I say I am! I will climb those ropes above the ring and grab the X-Title winning a championship in only my third singles match in ASW, a feat that even our golden boys the D.A. cant even say they accomplished. And after it is over and I am the new X-Champion I will take the X-Division places stars only dreamed of going. I will make the X-Title every bit as prestigious as every other title in the ASW. You D.A boys better learn from CASH, I don’t play around and I sure as hell am not going to run from you jokers. Its about time that we end this game of cat and mouse CASH, Wednesday I am done playing around, get ready for the fight of your freaken life in Honolulu, and it will be Ultimate X. That’s all the time we have for this addition of “Primetime in the Daytime” please join me next time, and as always stay safe out there.

Roberts gets up from his seat leaving the CASH impersonator sitting next to the desk just looking down at his feet. “You know my name” by Chris Cornell hits once again as the camera fades to black.

Disclaimer: The proceeding program was paid for by “Primetime” Paul Roberts an ASW superstar, this network, the ASW or there affiliates do not necessarily support the claims and or products presented.

Everyone Knows my Name!

"Primetime" Paul Roberts

Take a Look at Greatness!

ASW Win Loss Record: 3-0-0
ASW Singles Record: 2-0-0
ASW Tag Team Record: 1-0-0

Next Match:
ASW PPV: "Island Massacre"
X-Championship match: Ultimate-X
Vs CASH

*Fade to Black*

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