FADE IN:

EXT. BOSTON

JIMMY FALLON

...If not, Ben would be doomed to remain a bachelor for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love...

(dramatic pause, for about some pointless forty minutes)

...a Red Sox Fan?

DREW BARRYMORE

I can.

They have a lot of sex and kiss in the baseball field with a whole lot of baseball people watching them, because that's what BASEBALL FIELDS are for in a chick flick that just happens to have some FUCKING BASEBALL.

END